sijames

Hi.

I have looked at this website a few times as it gives me a bit of comfort when I've gone through a bad stage with my drinking. Let me tell you a little about myself...

I don't think I'm an alcoholic, but I am for sure a problem drinker. Basically I live a healthy life, I train at the gym 5 days a week, I eat a very clean diet, play sport etc BUT almost everytime I drink I just can't stop... as an example I went out on Saturday for a friends birthday, felt rough on Sunday so carried on drinking, did the same on Monday and again today (Tuesday) I'll probably stop now and start eating right and training again in the morning but it seems to be a vicious cycle. I think I need to accept that my days of binge drinking need to remain in the past as if I carry on like this I can only see a bad conclusion!

I'm not sure what the definition of an alcoholic really is but as I don't drink for 4 or 5 days during the week, sometimes two weeks without any cravings or what have you I don't think I am one but I know for damn sure I have some kind of problem when it comes to alcohol.

I feel so happy and motivated when I don't drink and the complete 100% opposite when I do. So I have now decided to quit the booze, that is me done and I think life can only get better when I do this!

Thank you for taking the time to read my story, I feel too embarrassed to talk about this with friends and family as I don't think they know.. but I want to be the best version of myself not the drunk or depressed from being drunk the day before version!

Thanks

Coldfusion

Welcome!

What parts of the forum interest you?

LexieCat

Let me ask you a question. If you KNOW that every time you drink it will end badly, why do you do it?

A non-alcoholic generally avoids alcohol if they have bad experiences with it (hot flashes, extreme hangovers, etc.). Seems to me you are not only having trouble stopping, you have trouble staying away from it, too.

The fact that you don't drink every day or don't drink for periods of time in between does not mean you aren't an alcoholic. I can't diagnose you--nobody here, can. But that's something you might want to think about.

quitforme79

welcome sijames I have heard that it's not how often we drink but what happens to us when we do drink...With that being said only you can decide if you are an alcoholic or just have a problem. I was successful in most areas of my life (work, had a nice place to live, worked out 6/7 days a week) but I just couldn't stop drinking and it led to some consequences for me at the end. So far, my life has been better without it. Not always easier but better.

Delilah1

Welcome to SR!! Sounds like you are ready and confident I your decision. It will make those training days even more enjoyable!!

sijames

Thank you so much for taking the time to reply to my post. @lexicat you have a very good point there. I guess I think that 'next time' will be different... although it never is of course! @ quitforme79 yes I think if I don't sort myself out I will also face some unpleasant consequences... The stupid thing is that within a couple of days I will be feeling great again, then decide to drink next weekend and the whole cycle will continue ... not this time though, I am making a promise to myself to quit the booze as of today! thank you again for posting, it really does help!

LexieCat

One of the definitions of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.

That isn't meant as an insult--I was definitely insane when it came to drinking. In fact, I always thought that if I really put my mind to it, I could drink as much as I wanted to and it wouldn't affect me. IOW, the laws of physics, chemistry, and biology did not apply to me. Hoo-boy. And it took me a couple of years of sobriety to realize that's what I believed.

JungleGirl

Hi sijames
I was a lot like you, I would only really drink on weekends and I exercised and worked efficiently, but I just could not stop once I started and many times it led to consequences that left me feeling ashamed and depressed. I drank like that for around 8 years and eventually woke up and said "i'm never drinking again" for the last time, I was SO sick of saying that!

I felt I would get over the pity feelings in a few weeks and be back on it so I wrote down how I was feeling at the time I decided to quit, I wrote down all the pros and cons of drinking and each week I would write in the book to get out onto paper how I was feeling about not drinking and challenges I was facing through the weekend.

I'm 5 and a half months into my sobriety and a have never felt this good, it is definitely worth the effort, you can look at yourself through an untainted mirror and that feels pretty damn amazing.

good luck on your journey

x