jazzfish

I was feeling great and it was a beautiful day. We decided to have lunch outside, it was so nice, and I decided that a beer would go great with it (absolutely, positively just one, or two). I went far beyond that amount.

Now it is another beautiful day and I am suffering through a hangover. I hate this disease.

There is obviously something I am missing in my daily routine. I promised myself that if this attempt didn't work, then I would go to AA and try that again. There is a meeting at noon.

hamabi

I hope you keep your promises you make to yourself...the drinking life is pretty rough.

LexieCat

Great--you get to that meeting and then post here how it went.

AA can give you the tools so you will never have to go through another Day 1.

MIRecovery

When I could be honest with myself and completely surrender. That I believed alcohol could never be an option for anything, that is when things started to get better.

AA saved my life and it can save yours too if you are willing to work for it.

Coldfusion

Argh, Jazzfish, someone else here at SR relapsed and I guess I was somewhat less than supportive.

I cannot relate to your experience. As far as I know (82 days), I only quit once. The previous periods in my life when I didn't drink, I always sort of planned on drinking again. Not now.

I would guess that you knew in advance that you were entering an establishment which sold alcohol--maybe you should avoid those places. And it sounds as if you are were with a person who does not support your recovery.

Just shoot me, report me to the Mods if this isn't supportive. I'll leave you alone and go read the "Empathy vs. Tough Love" thread...

lillyknitting

I've promised myself I'm never going to poison my body again, ever.

jazzfish

Yes, I knew it sold alcohol and I even thought about why I was choosing that place. In the past, I often choose restaurants based on whether they sold alcohol or not. My wife doesn't support my recovery only because I have not asked her to. I think I need to sit her down and explain that I have a problem with alcohol and want to quit.

Thanks for your support. You are very supportive, but no amount of support is going to keep me from drinking; that is my choice alone.

Delilah1

Hi Jazzfish,

I think talking to your wife is a great idea, the more support you have the better.

Coldfusion

Bring her here and have her read this thread.

vegibean

Hopefully jazzfish you'll get to the point where you're just sick and tired of being sick and tired and just KNOW what's going to happen if you have that "one" drink. One is not enough, and it's also too many, we all know that.

Keep your head up and hope you're feeling better soon.

paul99

Yup - I think it's a great idea to talk to your wife and be upfront and honest. I like what you said about not having asked your wife for support. My wife is my greatest supporter and ally. You can never have enough of those in your court.

2granddaughters

Coldfusion has it right ... just quit and stay quit.

If you can't then come to AA with me.

Try not to die trying option 1 before you see me.

All the best.

Bob R

Dee74

I think there were several things I was missing.

One, people who needed to know what I was dealing with, didn't know.
If you want an omlette you need to break some eggs.

There's no need to hire a skywriter, but you know - breaking cover with those closest to you is an imperative, to me.

I also had to accept that I was an alcoholic. and not just in an abstract way - being an alcoholic means not drinking booze.

Alcohol and I have a toxic relationship.
It's the first sip that undoes me, not the 15th beer.

I also needed to actively work for my recovery - that meant not only seeking support, but making lifestyle changes too, especially initially.

I really really wanted to be sober, so I did everything I could to make that happen

I know you can do the same jazzfish

D

brazzaville

Dear jazzfish

Something that helps me is to counter that thought about just one or two beers ...is reminding myself that I have never ever enjoyed one or two beers. I used to drink way more - one or two beers was never an option, and if it was the only choice it left me feeling deeply unsatisfied and wanting more....it would feel like getting into a hot bath with only 1cm of water in the tub...

I used to fantasise about relaxing with a beer at a picnic...but how can I relax with a beer if I'm already thinking about the next one...and the next one...and maybe some wine? That's not relaxing...

You can do this jazzfish! I'm day 32 and it's tough, I know... but keep drinking the non-alcoholic drinks and avoiding the hangovers....

Best of luck!!