Elisabeth888

I don't want to drink, I am not going to, but I am sick of feeling normal. I wish I could pop a xanax or smoke a joint, just to feel different. I have no access to either, so it is not an option (and shouldn't be one anyway)

Does anyone feel like this ever? I have an urge to feel different. I am doing my 5th step tomorrow, maybe I am anxious because of this?

soberclover

Sounds like you want to escape to me. That is how it is for me. When I want to "check out" with a drink or a drug, I have to be really honest with myself and try to figure out what I am trying to escape from.

I really admire your ability to reach out for suggestions as well as your commitment to not drink!

Elisabeth888

It is probably worse because the reason I don't want to drink is because I don't want the hangover or anxiety that always happens. No, I want a guilt, hangover free alternative, like smoking pot. I would probably turn in to Cheech and Chong if I had some pot though. And I would feel guilty.

LexieCat

Could be that's why you're feeling anxious.

Maybe you could remind yourself that it isn't until tomorrow, and for something like this (you've done your Fourth Step, the prep work is done), you can postpone the worrying until tomorrow. Find something to do that will take your mind off it for a while. Maybe go see, or rent, a good movie that will take you to another place for a while. Or meet a friend for lunch or dinner--something purely social.

Just a couple of thoughts--you might have some other ideas that occur to you.

Coldfusion

You'd turn into BOTH of them? Don't do that--take my word for it, split personalities suck.

I'm on step three, and found help here at SR. There is no shortage of opinions on most matters, and it's a positive diversion.

Help someone out--share your progress!

hypochondriac

Wow there, who says you need to take drugs to change your mood? I have a lifetimes experience of running away from me and alcohol was only a small part of it. Music! There is nothing better to change your mood. There's a reason spielberg uses schmaltzy music in his films. There is nothing better for pulling on the emotional heartstrings. There is also plenty of angry/happy/dramatic music too. Also, what colour is your hair today? If you wanna feel different why not dye it Blue? I should link in photo's of me with every different hair colour under the sun. Getting sober I have decided to let it be it's natural colour to symbolise accepting myself. But if I felt like I wanted to get away from me it'd be better to pick up a bottle of bleach rather than a drink or drug. If you wanna feel different why don't you do something that you've never done before (something, and I can't stress this enough, that is not a mind altering substance), do something that is totally not you x

miamifella

Addicts drink or use to change their mood. So it is to be expected that you are still looking for an external to change your internal.

With time, you will develop the inner resources to either deal with your current mood, or to change it in a healthier way. But it is hard. And it takes practice. This thing you are going through now is the REAL recovery.

It is tough, but just stay with it. It gets easier with practice.

Mark75

what miami said

And well, sometimes, you just tough it out... prayer helps... but mostly some kind of interaction with another person... do something nice for them. get out of your own head.

Hope4Life

I am a concert lover and have always loved good music. When I want to escape from my mood I put on an upbeat CD or watch a concert DVD with the volume turned up. I probably drive my neighbors crazy singing at the top of my lungs but it really does help.

I suggest you play this song at a loud volume and listen to these GREAT lyrics. This is my anthem for sobriety.

JOE WALSH - ONE DAY AT A TIME - YouTube

Weasel1966

I can so relate to what you are saying. I call it being painfully normal.

But the reality of it all is I only ever wanted to hide from it all. Not live it because I never deserved it... What ever the hell it is...

But there is no better way to change mood than to take myself on a date. Remind me why I am worth it. Maybe treat myself to a gift. Nothing big. Maybe make myself a good meal. Nothing fancy.

Just tell myself that I am worth it.

I drank last night so I am no expert on avoiding the drink. But I have long spent efforts learning to change my mood. It's only me who can do it!

escapist

Take the dog for a walk. It helps.

vegibean

Yep, and I know I should listen to my own advise, how it allllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll comes flooding back now.

"Change a thought, move a muscle", just do something different. Sometimes even when we feel like not doing anything, just getting up and doing SOMETHING can help.

Mark75

Sorry to hear that, I know getting sober is something you really want to do... And you ARE worth it... it should go without saying, but sometimes it needs to be...

But it's not in the saying it, so much... but in living it...

Nothing works quite so well as working with another... helping another, maybe another alcoholic, or a loved one... We have to get out of our own heads... I have tried taking myself on dates, treating myself, a nice meal... but that pales in comparison to having meaningful fellowship with another human being.

Change how we feel? Forget how we feel... help someone else feel better... get out of self!! Feel like drinking? Call someone... if you are AA, call a new guy, or your sponsor...

How do I know this??... because I am not perfect either and still tend to isolate, buy things from ebay, eat too much, all that... and it never works as well...