Trambler

AW has decided to investigate a prescription for Antabuse as a possible answer (as will power alone is not enough ton beat her addiction). Does anyone have experience with this?

Justfor1

Yes, it makes a person very sick if they drink while on it. It can stay in a persons body for up to 2 weeks after stopping it. Dr's do not prescribed it much anymore because it can be deadly when mixed with alcohol. It can be a helpful tool used in recovery though when combined with treatment. However, a "sly" alcoholic can get get around it. They can use other drugs to get high, they can switch the pills for vitamins, they can not actually swallow the pill ect...

kaizen

I'm sure that Antabuse is a useful tool for some RAs. Not so much for my AH. He has tried to use it twice, unsuccessfully. The first time was soon after his discharge from the second 30-day inpatient rehab stint in 10 months. It was one of my conditions for his return to our home. He took it for about 2 months, then stopped and began drinking again. After that relapse, he tried it again - and figured out that if he missed one day of taking it, that he could drink without becoming ill. Another relapse.

Our marriage counselor recommended that we make a ritual of pill-taking time in the morning - I would observe him taking the pill, and then we would kiss or hug. There is research to support that this type of intervention is helpful in the RA maintaining sobriety and in helping to build trust in the marriage.

We never tested this approach b/c I baulked. After giving it considerable thought, I decided that it was problematic on several levels for me. First, it was inconsistent with my stuggles in recovery to realize that I was truly powerless over his drinking. Second, by participating in the pill-taking responsibility, I felt that it put me in the uncomfortable "mommy" role - having to supervise a grown man's self care. I now firmly believe that his remaining sober (or not) is his choice and responsibility.

He has continued to "secretly" drink. I have asked him to leave and he is in the process of moving out. IMO, Antabuse, in our situation just prolonged the misery.

This is my personal experience - I would advise that you and your wife thoroughly explore what is best for your marriage before embarking on this path. Good Luck!

LexieCat

I've heard anecdotal evidence that it helps SOME alcoholics through the first few days/weeks. Only if they are highly motivated, though, and they need that little extra incentive.

At best, though, it is a very temporary crutch. An alcoholic who doesn't drink only because he/she may get sick isn't recovering.

Willpower alone doesn't do it for any alcoholic. Sooner or later the disease causes them to drink, even when they had every intention not to. AA is often effective, though, in bringing about lasting recovery.

Joe Nerv

Don't have any personal experience with it, but know some people who do. I remember one guy telling me he drank on antibuse, to prove a point and show just how tough he was. It landed him in the hospital, and he said it was the stupidest thing he'd ever done in his life. And that's from an alcoholic who had done some pretty stupid things.

EnglishGarden

My exAH took Antabuse for a while but he was much too deeply in love with alcohol to continue.

I'm sorry you are in this situation. As always recommended, Al-Anon will be a good place for you if you haven't found a meeting yet. Otherwise, you will lose your mind in relationship with an alcoholic. Counseling, Al-Anon, and SR can assist you in the necessary detachment from her issues and her challenges. This is HER problem.

Trambler

Thanks, your replies confirm some of my initial thoughts:

A) Not drinking because you can't isn't recovery but more of an obstacle (although my wife is talking of seeking counselling to try and determine what drives her to drink in the first place).

B) The first request was whether I would 'oversee' the taking of the pills. My initial response was that I didn't want to be put in that position. It's taken me a long time to reach the point of accepting that there is nothing I can do to change this behaviour, this now feels contrary to that conclusion.

Something has to give if there is even the merest glimmer of hope of us making the marriage work. I'll wait and see whether or not this has any effect (although, as I'm sure many can appreciate, after many years of being let down and empty promises I'm not holding my breath).

Onwards and upwards...hopefully...

thislonelygirl

I would get her other forms of care before going that route.

LexieCat

See, I think a lot of alcoholics do that--going to therapy, thinking that discovering the underlying issues that "drove them to drink," and addressing those issues, will cure the problem.

For most of us, though, it takes more than that, which AA is excellent for addressing. Alcoholism affects us physically, mentally, and spiritually. If she does choose to see a therapist, I hope it is one who is specifically trained in dealing with addictions. Someone who is not may do more harm than good, by identifying the problem as a dysfunctional family or something, and focusing on that to the exclusion of the overall problem, which is really multifaceted. Someone trained in treating addiction, on the other hand, will recognize alcoholic tendencies such as manipulation and rationalization, and not be sidetracked by them.

Trambler

My wife was attending AA for about 12 months but was coming up against certain 'difficulties'. She had major issues with the way in which it approached the 'spiritual' aspect and as someone who suffers with severe anxiety attacks was finding it very hard to speak in front of the group.

She has also been attending SMART meetings (smartrecovery.org.uk) which are a much better 'fit' for her, but still the problem persists.

The talk of pills and therapists has come about as so far all else has failed.