vegibean

I woke up to anxiety about everything in my life and this is why I KNOW I became so "I'm over it, F it!"

Working full time, I have to get admitted back into school soon, I also got a raise before the new year and after that tax thing kicked in, "bye-bye" raise, WTF?? And then just dealing with my X, he has always been an issue...

Pretty much this is it, with working all the time, being in school full time as it is a fast track course, I am CONSTANTLY working, and then I feel like I never have time for fun (hence why I said "I'm getting a bottle of wine", and hence the relapse...), my life is just non-stop DOING THE RIGHT THING, and I know I am not the only one, but financially I just never seem to get ahead, and by the way, even before I picked up again.

I get so angry and frustrated, and I just keep moving forward and I do the best I can but I know this is why I got to where I got to.

Anyway, tomorrow is my first session with the therapist, and I'm looking forward to it. I may not be able to see her the next week, but I'm going to allot funds every be-weekly pay-week from here on out to make sure I have the money set aside for two sessions each for the two weeks. I have to get my head in a better place.

So tired of feeling frustrated, angry, mentally exhausted and then in the end just sad because it seems to be never ending for me. I have had many blessings in the last five years, I am grateful for so much, but after a while I just get burned out, and here I am.

Ok, vent over.

Elisabeth888

I am sorry Vegi! When I get like that, I try to focus on TODAY. That is all we have and when we stay in the moment, things are easier. When I start thinking about the future, I get freaked out to. It's not that we shouldn't plan, it's just that when we start fixating.....

What can I do today? That is the question.

hypochondriac

It's something that I think is left out of many recovery programs and ideas about overcoming addiction... how to cope with feeling like you're doing the right thing all the time! Have you got any other guilty pleasures you can indulge in which aren't alcohol...? Well maybe not stuff that makes you feel guilty but at least something self indulgent Hope all goes well with the new therapist x

vegibean

Lol!! Yes, FOOD!!! But I have to watch that. I LOVE a box of Godiva chocolate and my other one is Sushi from this place Lemongrass, at least that isn't so bad for me. I was thinking maybe we'd go get some lunch from there today. They make some of the best Thai dishes also.

Then exercising, I do enjoy it, but that's when work and school come into play, eventually my exercising goes to the back burner because I'm busy with W & S. We have switched up though, walking, jogging, playing tennis, going to the gym, not always the same routine, believe me, I am trying very hard to do healthy and good things for myself.

Mmmm... Godiva, seriously.

ivegotsunshine

Veginean, I've been feeling pretty anxious and. Tabby lately too. Just got a mew haircut and both did that help my attitude! Hang in there. Try to stay positive!

quitforme79

The same thing happened to me with my raise and the tax raise! I just had to redirect my thoughts to "I am grateful to even be getting a paychecke". And yesterday I felt exactly like said...no fun, I'm bored, tired of doing the right thing and getting nowhere. BUT I had to tell my stinking thinking that things will get better, even financially, over time and that if I want to have fun I need to take action and find ways how. Today I am in a much better place mentally so hang in there and if you keep redirecting to positive thoughts your mind will eventually believe them. Hope you enjoy your lunch out today and that you feel better soon

mecanix

Sounds to me like your working too much . Either you will cope or something will slip . Perhaps prioritize what you will let slip as a damage limitation excersise ..

Sometimes life gets out of control and we have to do just what we need to do, to stay sane and sober,

Bestwishes, M

Bob22

Hope you feel better soon Vegibean!

gincognito

Sounds like you expect a lot from yourself. Maybe more than is reasonable. I know I push myself too hard at work and end up not eating exercising or otherwise taking care of myself. Maybe there are ways you can mitigate the stress of work. I personally could not attempt to go to school on top of it.

24hrsAday

me too Veg.. :ghug3

sugarbear1

You HAVE a job?! Awesome!

School? Lovely! That is awesome!!

Can you write a gratitude list of things you have in your life? Things that you are happy about?

You have the power to change a negative attitude into a positive one!!

Coldfusion

Thanks , Veg. Sometimes that's all you need to do.

How's the weather there? It's frosty but clear out here--I'll get a sunrise pic and post it for you.

Aloha!

vegibean

Cold, it's sunny here and I'm waiting for my bf to get back home and we're going out, maybe to get some sushi, but I'm hungry!!

Yesterday it was rainy all day so I stayed in and just chilled, I want to get out and enjoy the day.

Thanks for that, and thank you to the rest of you.

I know I have a lot to be grateful for, and I am, but I KNOW that I have a lot on my plate and it can be realistically overwhelming. Just glad I'm going to see the therapist tomorrow, a good step in the right direction for ME!!

Coldfusion

It's a beautiful day--enjoy!

This is as good as sunrise gets around here, and I never see sunset 'cause of all the trees. Here's my view looking across Rosario Strait as the sun rises over Cypress Island:

vegibean

Sweet Coldfusion.

I want to share a picture from breakfast, but I don't know how to do it using the url. Meh!!

escapist

Your efforts will pay off. I have to tell myself that all the time. ALL THE TIME. In the meantime Godiva does sound like a wonderful way to endure the journey.

vegibean

escapist, I know that. I've been doing school AND work for three years in a row, I am FINALLY at my course work, so I'm getting there. I do tell myself "it's not a race to finish..." I try not to "kill" myself.

I know I'll be grateful when I'm done, and I am hopeful that I can even earn my Masters and then even a doctorate, and earn my PhD, how awesome would that be??

Dr. Vegibean... Hmmm....