Notices

What does it take?

Old 01-17-2013, 07:16 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
A Day at a Time
Thread Starter
 
MIRecovery's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
What does it take?

People can argue recovery methods until the cows come home but IMO there are some universal truths about people that get and stay sober. Here are some of the things I have observed:
  1. Come to the realization that we just cannot drink and that total abstinence from all mind altering substances is the only path.
  2. Believe that addiction is a cronic condition which we never get over. We learn how to deal with it but we are never normal again
  3. Be willing to change anything if it keeps us on the path of not drinking.
  4. Remove people, places, and things in our lives that move us away from sobriety
  5. Listen to and do what people with long term soberiety do
  6. Have a comprehensive plan that addresses how we are going to stay sober
  7. Educate ourselves on addiction and recovery
  8. Get rid of the baggage from the past. This may require a professional or some type of recovery program. In some cases people manage to do this on their own but it is difficult.
  9. Have a network of people that you can talk to preferably people in recovery
  10. Develop a full and meaningful life that does not include alcohol. Develop sober or normal drinking friends
  11. Learn how to go outside of ourselves and make the world a better place
  12. Patience and understanding. This is a life time of change and things do not get better in a day nor will the world ever be the way we want it to be
  13. Forgiveness of ourselves and others

Other items that are recovery universals?
MIRecovery is offline  
Old 01-17-2013, 07:18 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New York
Posts: 186
Wow! Great list. Thank you.
Mammyof3boys is offline  
Old 01-17-2013, 07:19 AM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
tomsteve's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
"Other items that are recovery universals?"

for me, to begin i had to get to the point of desperation.
__________________
tomsteve is offline  
Old 01-17-2013, 07:20 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: New York
Posts: 186
Desperation... What was it?
Mammyof3boys is offline  
Old 01-17-2013, 07:26 AM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Member
 
tomsteve's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: northern michigan. not the U.P.
Posts: 15,281
Originally Posted by Mammyof3boys View Post
Desperation... What was it?
desperation-at the end of one’s rope or tether At the end of one’s endurance or resources, out of options; exasperated, frustrated.
for me, it was when the pain of getting drunk exceeded the pain of reality. it was take another drink and kill myself or get help.
tomsteve is offline  
Old 01-17-2013, 07:31 AM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Too far from the beach
 
lovinmenow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 387
OK add one: Understand your triggers and know how to deal with them.
lovinmenow is offline  
Old 01-17-2013, 07:32 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Too far from the beach
 
lovinmenow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 387
BTW that really was an awesome list.
lovinmenow is offline  
Old 01-17-2013, 07:37 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Canine Welfare Advocate
 
doggonecarl's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,961
A comprehensive list, MI. Thanks. The mods should make this a sticky.

To add to the list may be nit picking on my part. But, I might have added:

Have the humility to admit you might not be smarter than your addiction.
doggonecarl is offline  
Old 01-17-2013, 07:47 AM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Out west
Posts: 191
I too think it's a great list, but I take exception to number two. Since I've quit, I haven't felt this normal in over twenty years.
Elphaba is offline  
Old 01-17-2013, 07:50 AM
  # 10 (permalink)  
A Day at a Time
Thread Starter
 
MIRecovery's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Originally Posted by Elphaba View Post
I too think it's a great list, but I take exception to number two. Since I've quit, I haven't felt this normal in over twenty years.
What I am saying is that to drink again is to be right back to where we were. Yes, we are normal in sobriety but not normal from the stand point of being able to drink again
MIRecovery is offline  
Old 01-17-2013, 07:51 AM
  # 11 (permalink)  
A Day at a Time
Thread Starter
 
MIRecovery's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Originally Posted by doggonecarl View Post
A comprehensive list, MI. Thanks. The mods should make this a sticky.

To add to the list may be nit picking on my part. But, I might have added:

Have the humility to admit you might not be smarter than your addiction.
I like that one and so true. This item kept me drinking for 20+ years
MIRecovery is offline  
Old 01-17-2013, 07:58 AM
  # 12 (permalink)  
That bell or bike person
 
mecanix's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
If you're looking to negotiate on the price of sobriety then you will probably be unwilling to pay whats needed .

Bestwishes, M
mecanix is offline  
Old 01-17-2013, 08:01 AM
  # 13 (permalink)  
A Day at a Time
Thread Starter
 
MIRecovery's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Grand Rapids MI
Posts: 6,435
Putting nothing in front of our sobriety for sure. Kind of addressed it in #3
MIRecovery is offline  
Old 01-17-2013, 08:07 AM
  # 14 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: fort wayne, IN.
Posts: 1,085
No.4 is impossible for me. Maybe not impossible but darn near. So I am learning how to accept those situations and kind of psychologically insulate myself. I mentally put myself in a sound proof booth. Thank God for our imaginations.
escapist is offline  
Old 01-17-2013, 09:04 AM
  # 15 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Out west
Posts: 191
14. There are no recovery universals. Hear what has worked for other people, and figure out what works for you.
Elphaba is offline  
Old 01-17-2013, 09:13 AM
  # 16 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Out west
Posts: 191
Having said that, I think there is one fundamental element required, you have to want it.
Elphaba is offline  
Old 01-17-2013, 09:14 AM
  # 17 (permalink)  
A simple guy making his way
 
Weasel1966's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
Great list MI.

This list has a lot of life truisms.
Weasel1966 is offline  
Old 01-17-2013, 09:23 AM
  # 18 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Des Moines IA
Posts: 377
Well done. This list could be a great springboard for discussion, as new people may believe some or all are items are not essential in their special cases and need the importance and/or usefulness of them to be further explained.
hamabi is offline  
Old 01-17-2013, 09:29 AM
  # 19 (permalink)  
Doing Business Since 11/3/2012
 
veryready's Avatar
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 1,143
Well done. This is really your #1, but in my words it is:

"Give up on the notion of there being moderate drinking in your future. You never wanted it and never will"
veryready is offline  
Old 01-17-2013, 09:37 AM
  # 20 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2010
Posts: 249
Your list, in addition to the one about humility, covers every angle of what it takes. Every "yeah but" I could think of, and I can think of a lot, is addressed in your list. Maybe I'd put willingness at the top of the list, for without that, nothing else matters.
andisa is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 02:52 AM.