seek

I am just curious about the biblical admonition: "You are your brother's keeper."

I am not a Christian - was raised one but don't ascribe to organized religion these days - but I believe that in the U.S., a lot of our cultural heritage comes from Christian influences.

I have also found that many of the "great truths" in different religions are cross cultural - you can find some of the same themes in different religions - don't know about this particular one, but in relationship to alcoholism and "co-dependency," what do you think?

Is this something you have ever thought about consicously?

Do you think the belief is one you might hold unconsciously?

Lulu39

1: He's not my brother, He was supposed to be and act like a husband. He didn't.

2: I was not "put down here on this earth to follow a grown man with a dustpan, a fire extinguisher, and a pack of Huggies."---GiveLove

PohsFriend

Hmmmm...

Two scenarios:
1. You are fighting like hell for your own life and trying not to drown - I'll jump in the water and do my best to help you get to shore.
2. You are going under but refuse to kick your damned feet to get back to the air - Crabs gotta eat too.

Got me a kicker over here and she's swimming hard without me pulling now... I'm just on the lookout for sharks and riptides til she gets there.

redatlanta

Well if my Bible memory serves me correctly this is in reference to Cain and Abel - after Cain killed Abel God asked him where Abel was and Cain's response why "I don't know am I my brother's keeper"?

But I take your question to reference what is our responsibility toward protecting/helping those we love and care about. A similar question was asked by hopefulmom a couple of days ago regarding her son and wasn't it her responsibility to take on the burden of supporting him rather than societies?

I do feel we have a responsibilty ethically and morally. That responsibility would be, IMO, not to be a codependent or an enabler as that causes suffering, and is the lifeblood of the disease of alcoholism and addiction.

Thumper

The irony is that the things that feel right, the taking care of and keeping of our loved one, doesn't actually help them when alcoholism is involved. It often makes things worse for them.

Our intellect, our knowledge, people that have been there, they can all tell us that our care taking is only making matters worse but it 'feels' right. It feels like love.

It took a great shift for me to really see this. It was a turning point to understand, in my center, that fixing and taking care of and helping and supporting was me killing Able, not being his keeper. I was being the keeper of alcoholism - the very thing that was destroying him.

m1k3

Last night was a tradition 1 meeting which is about group unity. The theme of the meeting ended up about balance.

For myself I used to care for others and not give any thought about how it affected me other than to feel resentful. I started recovery and then it became all about me and how it affected others didn't really matter.

Now I am getting to that point of balance where I can help and care for others without losing myself. I still take care of me first but not at the exclusion of others.

Your friend,

BadCompany

We are our brothers keepers. every situation is different however. The help we might give to someone that has fallen on hard times because of the loss of a job may be the right thing to do in most situations but that very same help may be enabling the alcoholic and actually be killing him.

Doing the Jesus thing is not as cut and dried as many pretend it is.

h00ped

Like Redatlanta said, it was almost a sarcastic remark from Cain when questioned about his brother, it in a way implies that "of course I'm not, so why are you asking me." I don't think we have to be anyone's keeper, at the end of the day, even though the Biblical virtues are about loving, caring for and serving each other, there are also many passages where it deals with healthy confrontation and discipline in interpersonal relationships, and how each man is responsible for his own conduct before God. What has been confusing for me is the turn the other cheek and if they ask for a shirt give them your coat too - that definitely sounds like encouraging someone to be taken advantage of codie-style out of Christian duty. But I'm thinking that was probably a radical analogy to show how willingness of our heart should be in unselfishness, rather than a commandment to actually take action on, like if your eye causes you to sin pluck it out. (Thoughts??)