zoso77

So, the semester started tonight...my last semester of graduate school.

And it was really funny. My RF circuits professor saw me and gave me a tap on the shoulder. The former department head saw me and gave me two taps on the shoulder. And then my academic advisor -- God Bless Him -- gave me a hard time about finding a nice girl. All within 10 minutes.

No, I said.

Yes, he replied.

And then I said in all seriousness I didn't have the emotional bandwidth for a romantic relationship. Right now, I have nothing to give. Hell, I don't even miss sex...

...but I digress. Tonight was the beginning of my last semester of graduate school, and I'm taking the most hardcore course my department offers. I think back a year ago to when my AXGF "did what she did" and, at once, it seems like ages ago and yet not too long ago. A year ago, I couldn't have done this. Graduate level work in the hard sciences is a commitment to pain, and although I was determined to get better a year ago, I wasn't where I currently am.

So, I'm seeking encouragement from friends here. This course is going to be a nightmare. I can do this, right?

ZoSo

Ilovemysonjj

Hi Zoso, You can do anything you put your mind and heart into. I send you my encouragement and thanks for all you do for this community by sharing your experience, strength and hope. YOU CAN DO IT! (remember the Waterboy?) quote thanks to Rob Schneider.
Hugs and have a wonderful day!
Teresa

tjp613

Zoso, I believe you can do anything!

What's your field of study? Tell us!

zoso77

Electrical and computer engineering...

Lara

Zoso obviously I have never met you in person who had privvy to any or your academic records.... but just by reading your posts here on SR - your intelligence shines through and is blatantly clear. I imagine you could study anything you put your mind too!!! Is there something that has triggered this niggle of self doubt? Is all okay?

zoso77

Lara, I'm good. I'm happy and sane. But one thing I've learned is to never take things for granted. Things can change in the blink of an eye. I want to leave school on the highest possible note. And sometimes I need a little push. Tonight is one of those nights.

dasiydoc

Don’t doubt yourself. If you made it through the prerequisite classes, then your ready. And if you need more incentive, remember where there is a will there is a way.... My boyfriend is on his third year of residency, even though he has a coke habit!

mrsbrownie

Hi Zoso....good job! and i am so happy for what you have accomplished all in but a year. we're like on the same boat...same time last year its almost close to what my xabf did "what he did"...now i am starting a new job (same profession)....meeting lots of wonderful and interesting people (not necessarily romantic interactions) and being reunited with old friends...i wouldnt be where i am right now, if i am still with xabf. no more drama, no more craziness....like what you said...they (our As in our lives)...gave us a GIFT...when they left us.

keep up the good work...

hugs and prayers to you!

Vale

....this thread is a joke,right?

You are WAAAAAAYYYYY too close to the prize---
and you have what it takes.

Take it from a 52 yr old...who is WAY closer to big-dirt-nap time
(worm feast!) than you are (I infer).And you're damn right that graduate
level work in a hard science is HARD CORE HARD.

Life goes like this: You look up at the hard goals.You plot/scheme/
strategize how to get there...then you pull the trigger and execute...

And you know (we ALL know) how terrifying and exciting and ALIVE
it makes you feel to grab a Grizzly by the tail....knowing full well that
if you let go then you'll have to deal with the WRONG end of the bear.

So don't let go.

Just know what is expected of you WHEN (not if) you lick this thing.

Kick back,be cool,and insinuate by word,deed,and demeanor,that the
whole thing was a walk in the park.

(Then run home and change your underwear.....but do so in a 'cool' fashion!)

Ann

This little pearl of wisdom has seen me through times when I questioned myself.

You will be fine. Work hard and enjoy the journey. Life is too short to struggle.

Hugs

Katiekate

You so have this!!!!

One day at a time, right?

xo

Kindeyes

The last semester.......that means you've come through a few other semesters to get to this point--you've got what it takes. When I tell myself over and over again that something is going to be really hard. It is. When I let go of the fear and just do it, it's easier than I imagined. Just think of how much energy is expended in the thought process of "this is going to be soooo hard"!

Keep telling yourself.....it's a piece of cake.

gentle hugs
ke

PS - although I agree in theory with the academic adviser.....perhaps now isn't the time for romance! lol

LoveMeNow

Zoso - God's plan gave you the ultimate test with your AXGF and you walked through it (with Him) and came out the other side stronger, more confident and wiser. This class may be difficult but nothing compared to that last test. I see an easy but earned A in your future.

The lesson learned with AXGF is....nothing can stop Zoso when you are determined. Now show us all how it is done, my friend. (but no pressure! lol)

GardenMama

I am in my last semester of graduate school, too, Zoso! We can do it! Look at what we've been through! Since refocusing on myself last summer, and working a program with NarAnon and SR, my energy for my intellectual life has tripled, quadrupled...We will celebrate on SR in May when we graduate!

Best wishes.

Lara

Hey Zoso how was your first day back at Grad school?? Are you up to your eyeballs in text books and thereoms?

zoso77

Well, my life's over for the next 16 weeks.

I'm auditing advanced electromagnetic theory, so I spent this morning reviewing vector calculus. Last night was my introduction to adaptive filters in my advanced signal processing course.

And at work, I spent about 20 minutes in my home office, went to another facility for a couple of hours to do some measurements, and now I'm at another facility for the rest of the day. So, my life's insane.

But it's nowhere as insane as it was when my AXGF was in the picture. My life now is stressful, and I have to juggle a lot and sometimes make decisions on what I'm not going to do today. But that sure beats dealing with any addict not in recovery.

Thank you, everyone, for your kind words of encouragement. When I checked the board this morning and read the replies to my post, it made me feel proud to be a part of this community. So, thank you.

ZoSo

Vale

Zoso,you are an ass-kicking mustard cutter of the first order.

...those 9.10938188 × 10-31 kilogram ...(essentially massless)
little bastards...electrons...have NO IDEA who they are messing with!

oooopps

and the end result will be rewarding!

crazybabie

I have no doubt that you can do anything you set your mind to.

zoso77

Thanks, Ann. Very much.

ZoSo