Weasel1966

How much must you like yourself to stay sober?

How much must you hate yourself to stay drunk?

It's all in the balance of these two thoughts for me.

Today I am not in the like category. Lol I cannot even type it. I have to say it in reverse.

I am going to a meeting this evening. It's a meeting that most all are in a sober house. It feels good to be around those that struggle.

The person I have been with for a long time wants... Said he wants.... To go to meetings also. We shall see. Does not affect me either way. Sobriety is a singular act. Not solitary by any means but certainly singular.

When I have down days... Like this one... I hold on tight. It gets better as the day goes on. Drinking never really helped anything.

To do the very opposite of what I always did to feel better everyday is a power play. The fact I never was able to see it is astonishing to me. I consider myself very self aware. Lol or very very blind.

Just thanks for being around today. The friendships, here, I have made... They perplex me. People I have never met... Seen... Heard their voice.... And I spill my guts?

Yes.

escapist

I just started loving myself Ken. It took a good couple of months staying sober to get here.

Weasel1966

I have a lot of faith in the fact I will as well escapist. The ups and downs have fewer sharp edges than they once did.

Forlily

Àways love yourself and the gift that is your life.

soberjim

Ken...Always here to help and always like to read your posts...Stay strong today...

Jim

mecanix

You will probably like yourself in the future , you will probably hate yourself some time as well .

I see reasons to learn new ways of dealing with emotions ,
i see reasons to change the unachievably high standards we drunks set ourselves at times .
I see reasons to question our own perception about situations .
I see reasons to just accept that sometimes we're bad and sometimes good, try not to get too hung up over it .

what i don't see is a good reason for drinking .

Bestwishes, M

Weasel1966

Well said M!

Dee74

I didn't like myself a lot for quite a long time after I got sober Ken...but I did have to open myself to the possibility that my life was worthy of saving, and there were many things I still wanted to do with that life.

Noone gets all the answers right away. Some of us, most even, have decades of baggage to sift through first

Keep the faith

D

FreeFall

I'm having a dislike day today too. All I can say is I would've been even more dissatisfied with myself if I were drinking or hungover so I'm just dealing with it. Tomorrow is another day. I have more days of liking myself since I quit, and less reasons to beat myself up so that's a plus.

I just want to run away or take a nap and I can't do either because of mom.
Some days I feel like a hostage, this is one of them.

Ken that's cool your partner may start going to meetings. Even though it is a solo journey, certainly having him learning from meetings too is bound to be a positive thing.

I do think when we really decide to make a serious effort to quit it's because we're finally ready to try to give ourselves a shot at a normal healthy life. In sticking with sobriety I think we start to actually realize we deserve this as much as anyone else does.

Weasel1966

Thank free fall. It is good. He committed to go to a larger meeting on Friday evening. If he does not make some kind of effort I cannot consider staying. When we are sober we have a really good time together. So I don't want to run away from that but I will not tolerate either of us continuing to drink. Meetings will give him a perspective about this thing they he needs.

hypochondriac

That's quite a question Ken. I don't think that if I like myself x amount I will automatically not want to drink/be self destructive. I don't particularly like myself right now, but in a way it has no bearing on my sobriety. I know that alcohol won't make me like myself any more x

MIRecovery

Let the people in AA love you until you can love yourself. It will happen but likely not on your time table

Elisabeth888

Exactly! I hate myself a lot of days, but I don't hate myself enough to drink.

For me, drinking does not work anymore. It is an evil tool that makes me feel worse than ever. We can forget how crappy it is.

I hope you enjoy your meeting tonight!

ACT10Npack

I don't think it's about liking yourself or not. I think it's more of how you see alcohol in you're part of life and if it's better with or without it. Most of us would agree with alcohol is better without us.

Elisabeth888

I don't know, Action. For me personally, I did some serious hating of myself when I was drinking everyday. It was HELL. And I stayed in it voluntarily!

Fallow

Im starting to find out it takes much more energy to hate myself than to love myself.

It seems easier to hate ME because thats what Ive always done.

Sure self doubts and regrets are gonna rear their ugly head time to time. But those thoughts pass.

We don't have to live like that 24/7 anymore.

Spinach

I like myself sober, I didn't hate myself drunk but sober I hate the waste of time years and years of shallow boring drunk not to mention the realy vile drunk moments ,though I do miss the occasional rip roaring drunken funny outburst but then I haven't given myself much space yet for that to happen sober a fact I'm looking foreward to. Fingers crossed.
When drinking I would often talk of drinking through self hatred and anger but less so now I certainly drank for courage or confidence but I see now it wasn't the best route.
I am happier sober and glad to be here.
If I drank tomorrow I would not hate, but be angry with myself, and that's a huge improvement.
Love John.

Weasel1966

It's not so much I hate myself but I do want to continue to make choices that I can live with. The longer I do the better I am feeling.

I just posed that question to myself so I an actively consider what I am working at this for. If I don't keep that out front then I will get lazy about this. And that's not ok.

I love being sober.

Fallow... That's true... It takes more energy to not like myself. More to drink than not drink as well.

Thanks for all the encouragement. I am feeling much better tonight than I did this morning. Work was rewarding today.

Dee74

for me I knew I could do better with my life, my gifts, and my future.
That was enough for me to get the ball rolling...maybe it's enough for you too Ken?

D

vegibean

I didn't like myself when I went into treatment, but I also knew I didn't want to die and I wanted to live, and also because I have two boys, how fair would that have been to them? For me that was good enough for the start, I had to crawl before I could walk, then run. One step at a time.