Hey
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 42
Hey
I am not sober completely, but I have made huge steps. I am down to 3 fifths a week instead of 7 or more. The withdrawals have been buggin me when I try to go without/cold turkey. I have been praying Alot more. And praying for my ex to come back to me/find God/and get some help herself(She is an alcoholic too). I have thought about treatment but I have no insurance at the moment. Thanks for reading my introductory rant!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,126
Hey, Water. There's a lot of free help out there. And, yes, you are right to be concerned about withdrawals. They are very risky for many of us. Is there a doctor you can call? Perhaps just talk to on the phone? Or maybe you can dip into your pocket for an office visit?
There's inexpensive programs out there. AA is free, and if you share at a meeting that you are trying to sober up someone might have an idea or two on medical care.
Rational Recovery is available for the price of a book.
Posting here helped me immensely when I decided I had had enough.
And, yeah, three fifths a week ain't close to sober. You're right about that.
Can you googel free alcohol help? The Salvation Army offers free services.
There's inexpensive programs out there. AA is free, and if you share at a meeting that you are trying to sober up someone might have an idea or two on medical care.
Rational Recovery is available for the price of a book.
Posting here helped me immensely when I decided I had had enough.
And, yeah, three fifths a week ain't close to sober. You're right about that.
Can you googel free alcohol help? The Salvation Army offers free services.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,760
to SR! I'd suggest seeing a doctor for medical help in getting safely thru withdrawals. After drinking as much as you drink, withdrawals could be dangerous. Please get help in getting thru detox. :ghug3
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 42
MB: it was just 3 5ths last week. Bought one Saturday night but didn't touch it till Monday night and have more than 3/4s left. Its quite the accomplishment for me. Been drinking since I was 12, I am 42. I am gonna do this and get my woman back and show her/help her. I have been reading alot of threads here (My goal is to read them all). I detoxed once back in October and was doing good, GF was supportive and helpful, but went out of town to visit her kid and I guess I just got bored. It really sucked for me that we did not spend my birthday,Thanksgiving, Christmas together! I was floored and really gave up, but now I realise that I have to do this or die trying.
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Illinois
Posts: 86
Originally Posted by waterhill42 
I am gonna do this and get my woman back and show her/help her.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Welcome, glad you are here.
I second what the others here have said about detoxing/withdrawal. Even though you have reduced the amount that you are drinking, you are still consuming very large quantities of alcohol, and you are just as likely to have a dangerous withdrawal as if you were drinking more.
A safe, medically supervised detox followed by some kind of aftercare (rehab, AA) would get you off to a good start.
I also agree that if you are doing this ONLY to save your relationship, you may be in for a big disappointment. Relationships come and go. She may be ready to move on, regardless of whether you drink.
But getting well for its own sake, to save your life and to be free of the bondage of HAVING to drink, that will pay dividends you can't begin to imagine. It will make you a person with whom someone will want to have a relationship, even if this one does not survive.
I second what the others here have said about detoxing/withdrawal. Even though you have reduced the amount that you are drinking, you are still consuming very large quantities of alcohol, and you are just as likely to have a dangerous withdrawal as if you were drinking more.
A safe, medically supervised detox followed by some kind of aftercare (rehab, AA) would get you off to a good start.
I also agree that if you are doing this ONLY to save your relationship, you may be in for a big disappointment. Relationships come and go. She may be ready to move on, regardless of whether you drink.
But getting well for its own sake, to save your life and to be free of the bondage of HAVING to drink, that will pay dividends you can't begin to imagine. It will make you a person with whom someone will want to have a relationship, even if this one does not survive.
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,064
There is a lot of good advice here so far, and you said you would look around the forum. So I'll just give a sales pitch for the Salvation Army.
Don't feel that you are above it.
You would learn so much by spending even a day or two with people who are actually the same as you. And while it is likely you will not really need to have medical assistance, I know a guy who suffered a heart attack in rehab from withdrawal. It was not luck that saved him, but good planning.
Start by calling a crisis line. They really love dealing with people who are trying to prevent a crisis!
Don't feel that you are above it.
You would learn so much by spending even a day or two with people who are actually the same as you. And while it is likely you will not really need to have medical assistance, I know a guy who suffered a heart attack in rehab from withdrawal. It was not luck that saved him, but good planning.
Start by calling a crisis line. They really love dealing with people who are trying to prevent a crisis!
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
I always had a reason I could not stop because of my place in the community, the detox as I was drinking at least as much if not more, and a number of other reasons. I finally decided to quit, and did an in hospital 7 day detox and they give a bunch of stuff and make sure we don't get seizures.
If you want to quit, regardless of what it takes, a year from now sober, I bet all you relationship issues will be solved. Might not even be with the same person. See you just got a wake up call. Many of us do. We don't lose those people with one false show of trying or three or five. And they can walk away after many real efforts. But the real thing, recovery, only comes once we decide we will, and will it. Seems for many of us, we are the last to see that in ourselves.
Are you willing to take that medical detox? They are available free almost everywhere. If you can't find one we can help. Is that what you want to do? Quit? If so detox isn't holding you back with that info. But then again, no solutions to your problem will work unless they are your own. You are on a website where every single one of us, by whatever method we used for recovery, learned that lesson and started overcoming all the obstacles we imagined in our way. I vpcan tell you once I wanted that badly enough, I found most of those obstacles I imagined and claimed disappeared.
You can, if you will. I wish you would, it was miraculous for me. See I swore If I could ever break free, I would never get enslaved again. That was two years ago. If anything, my determination has become habit and easy. I am a non drinker. No obsession with the next drink, the when and where, or the daily effort to keep up appearances. Life is really easy now.
I hope you take the wake up call.
If you want to quit, regardless of what it takes, a year from now sober, I bet all you relationship issues will be solved. Might not even be with the same person. See you just got a wake up call. Many of us do. We don't lose those people with one false show of trying or three or five. And they can walk away after many real efforts. But the real thing, recovery, only comes once we decide we will, and will it. Seems for many of us, we are the last to see that in ourselves.
Are you willing to take that medical detox? They are available free almost everywhere. If you can't find one we can help. Is that what you want to do? Quit? If so detox isn't holding you back with that info. But then again, no solutions to your problem will work unless they are your own. You are on a website where every single one of us, by whatever method we used for recovery, learned that lesson and started overcoming all the obstacles we imagined in our way. I vpcan tell you once I wanted that badly enough, I found most of those obstacles I imagined and claimed disappeared.
You can, if you will. I wish you would, it was miraculous for me. See I swore If I could ever break free, I would never get enslaved again. That was two years ago. If anything, my determination has become habit and easy. I am a non drinker. No obsession with the next drink, the when and where, or the daily effort to keep up appearances. Life is really easy now.
I hope you take the wake up call.
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome waterhill!
Glad you decided to join us and work on getting sober. I tried for years to control my drinking and found I just couldn't do it on my own. This place gave me the hope I needed to turn things around.
If you need medical help with withdrawal, you might want to check out the doctors in your area that specialize in addiction. Keep posting/reading - you can do this!
Glad you decided to join us and work on getting sober. I tried for years to control my drinking and found I just couldn't do it on my own. This place gave me the hope I needed to turn things around.
If you need medical help with withdrawal, you might want to check out the doctors in your area that specialize in addiction. Keep posting/reading - you can do this!
Re-Member
Join Date: Oct 2010
Location: Colorado Springs, Colorado
Posts: 7,583
You have already put conditions on it, and if I told you the solutions to those will you tell me the new conditions that must be met. I was what I called a high functioning alcoholic. Later, after getting sober and healing up a bunch I realized that I also was too busy. Drinking. To live a great life free from it. Until I hit my bottom and gave up.
I honestly do not mean offense, but if you are drinking 7 bottles a week, and if that is your high level you will return to it, we have pretty much proven moderation does not work, each of us personally.
Don't worry, you won't be too busy at some point. We all quit eventually, one way or the other. If you are a busy successful person you will have all the resources to find and do a medically supervised out patient detox. But failing that the inpatient one was painless for me. I just thought the only thing holding you back was the detox.
What really made my quitting a success was me. I did whatever it took. I dropped all my conditions. And nowadays when I see the chess game of conditions I don't play, as it didn't work for others to try to help me either, so long as I could come up with two conditions to every solution they proposed, I just was not ready. I only half believed them but thought I had them fooled.
When you are ready to be honest with yourself, you will see those doing the exact things you did as clearly too. I am trying to be as gentle as I can, because those who saved my life once I decided to work for it were ever so gentle with me. But they didn't play games with me either.
You can start if you really can't find it by attending an AA meeting if you would like a that is after hours and always available to find out your local resources. I did AA for that for my first three months and while many say it is only for long term it does not have to be. I recommend it because for some it is perfect but for all it has people who can tell you exactly what is available in your area. You can ask the question after the meeting or before, you don't have to get up and talk. Do let them know it is your first meeting though.
Edited for my previous negative tone, apologies.
I honestly do not mean offense, but if you are drinking 7 bottles a week, and if that is your high level you will return to it, we have pretty much proven moderation does not work, each of us personally.
Don't worry, you won't be too busy at some point. We all quit eventually, one way or the other. If you are a busy successful person you will have all the resources to find and do a medically supervised out patient detox. But failing that the inpatient one was painless for me. I just thought the only thing holding you back was the detox.
What really made my quitting a success was me. I did whatever it took. I dropped all my conditions. And nowadays when I see the chess game of conditions I don't play, as it didn't work for others to try to help me either, so long as I could come up with two conditions to every solution they proposed, I just was not ready. I only half believed them but thought I had them fooled.
When you are ready to be honest with yourself, you will see those doing the exact things you did as clearly too. I am trying to be as gentle as I can, because those who saved my life once I decided to work for it were ever so gentle with me. But they didn't play games with me either.
You can start if you really can't find it by attending an AA meeting if you would like a that is after hours and always available to find out your local resources. I did AA for that for my first three months and while many say it is only for long term it does not have to be. I recommend it because for some it is perfect but for all it has people who can tell you exactly what is available in your area. You can ask the question after the meeting or before, you don't have to get up and talk. Do let them know it is your first meeting though.
Edited for my previous negative tone, apologies.
Clear Eyes Full Heart
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,272
Welcome Waterhill! I hope that you can learn from others here on SR and save yourself some heartache and health issues down the line. It's a progressive thing, so continuing to drink is just going to make things worse in your life. People have made some very good points about detox. I think there are low cost programs to help someone in crisis pretty much everywhere. You might have to change your schedule a little, but in the long run it may be less change than if you continue to drink and have a problem.
It sounds like your relationship is very important to you. You can't be a good partner if you're impaired, and she can't be a good partner to you either in the same state. Stick around here and post often, it will help you sort everything out and start to formulate a plan.
It sounds like your relationship is very important to you. You can't be a good partner if you're impaired, and she can't be a good partner to you either in the same state. Stick around here and post often, it will help you sort everything out and start to formulate a plan.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,380
There's a national database of treatment facilities too.
Enter your location, then 'select services' and you can refine your results (outpatient, low cost, no cost)...see where that gets you
Substance Abuse Treatment Facility Locator
D
Enter your location, then 'select services' and you can refine your results (outpatient, low cost, no cost)...see where that gets you
Substance Abuse Treatment Facility Locator
D
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,531
Welcome to the family, Waterhill.
I'm glad you've decided to reach out for help. Reading & posting on SR really helped with the anxiety when I first was quitting. Hope you'll find the insipiration and hope here that you're looking for.
I'm glad you've decided to reach out for help. Reading & posting on SR really helped with the anxiety when I first was quitting. Hope you'll find the insipiration and hope here that you're looking for.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 42
Well, I found two local (within 20 miles) no outpatient, though. One is a really pricey month-long stay and the other is a 4 day pay-what-you-can. I have done the detox on my own before, its just the staying on the wagon that is hard. The local AA meets at 2p.m. 6 times a week, ???? No can do. I guess y'all and Jesus are all I got.
A work in progress
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: South Jersey
Posts: 16,633
Are you sure that's the ONLY AA in your area? That would be a VERY odd time to have the only meeting available. Are you sure it isn't simply the only one at whatever place you were looking at?
Google "Alcoholics Anonymous" plus the town or State in which you live. I'm betting there are a whole lot more meetings around there at more convenient times for people who work.
Google "Alcoholics Anonymous" plus the town or State in which you live. I'm betting there are a whole lot more meetings around there at more convenient times for people who work.
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