freev

I am starting over again. On day two after a big bender on Saturday afternoon. I am going to make it stick this time. I can't keep going the way I was.

Aems

Hang in there and keep trying. Many of us have had many start overs. You can do this!

Xune

You're going to make it stick this time?

You mean to say that last time, you didn't have any intention of making it stick? That when you had your last day 1, you told yourself that you would allow yourself to drink again and then have another day 1?

The point I'm trying to make, is that success is unlikely if you don't make changes where change is needed.

Welcome and you'll find tonnes of support and resources on SR.

freev

I never intended to slip, but after nearly 2 weeks of sobriety, I had just one. Then it started escalating until this Saturday - when I had way too much. Spent Saturday night, Sunday and Sunday night going through hell. I still feel shaky and ill now, but made myself get up and get to work.

The difference now is that I know I cannot control it. I can't just go out and have one with dinner. I have to continually remind myself that I cannot drink at all!

Xune

Accept you no longer drink alcohol and you will never have to remind yourself again.

Look at it this way, ' I don't snort lines of cocaine ever, so I don't have to remind myself not to do a line.'

Same for alcohol, I don't have to remind myself I don't drink, as it is no longer a part of my life and I have truly and absolutely accepted that just as I do not snort coke, I also don't drink alcohol.

Sobriety is a process and I'm just giving you food for thought.

veryready

Is that what you really want? Not me. Realized I never wanted one. Thought I did. I always said A beer would be good. A beer. I never had A beer. Never wanted A beer. Easier to have none FOR SURE.

italianladi41

i seem to be constantly starting over since the summer. I am so unhappy i dont have strong willpower

veryready

Stick with it italianladi. you'll get it.

freev

italianladi - stick with it. We'll do this together!

773niki

I'm at 79 days and couldn't imagine this at day 2. But, I got a sponsor, went to meetings as HARD as it was for me and I've never felt better. Good luck this time around!

freev

The worst of my detox is subsiding after two days of absolute hell. And I find myself craving a drink. I know I can't have one, but that is the first thing my mind thinks - get off of work and have a (ok - never "a") drink and relax.

I just barely survived the last two days - why is this voice so strong??

Dee74

welcome freev & welcome back italianladi
I recommend our Class of January thread for support - it's for everyone quitting drugs or alcohol this month

Willpower never worked for me - part of my will still wanted to drink.
Acceptance of what I was, and what alcohol did to me, was more useful.

Like you say freev - I can't have just one...it's that first one that does the damage not the 35th.

The first one kicks *everything* off.

D