Pataphor

I am way Way early in recovery.

I feel frozen in time.
I can drink coffee and lurk around the internet.
I can do the bare minimum required.

The to do list is pretty pathetic:
Do dishes
pay bills
walk the dog
take shower

I could just sit here all day.
I am not comfortable in my own skin.
Will the thaw come soon?

Coldfusion

Yes, you can sit here all day. My to-do list is about the same as yours, although I'm also going to a meeting (tonight is agnostic night).

I have seen SR help people handle the anxiety of early recovery. Just keep reading and posting...

:ghug3

YEM

Its natural to feel "off" for a while and how long will vary per person. I think you are doing awesome if you get through the day sober AND complete your daily to do list.

As time goes on, the fog will lift as long as you stay clean/sober and eventually you will look back and go "holy cow! I am doing more now than I ever dreamed I could accomplish!" It takes work but I am yet to see someone fail to get to that point given that they truly worked on themselves.

I also believe that once you grasp that recovery is not a destination, it's a lifestyle, things begin to get much better. I see people who are always aiming to arrive somewhere and they are always beating themselves up because they are not "there" (wherever that may be, i doubt they even know). The people who treat each day as a gift and live each day by spiritual principles are the ones who seem to have considerable time built up and they are the ones smiling more often than not.

Get through each individual day, exercise, set and achieve small goals for yourself each day. If you dont think you are making progress, write for 5 min each day how the day was, and how you feel. I bet that in just a week, if you look back at your first couple days, you will seen you have grown.

Xune

People who aren't in recovery could do the exact same. How you live your life is entirely up to you.

I always think it's a good idea for people who are in early recovery to visit their doctor and provide full disclosure.

phoebe64

I am a couple of months along and still have days like that. But I do think I deal with low grade depression that I was self-medicating with alcohol. Winter is tough and some days tougher than others.

It gets better with time for me and if I can get outside and walk and get fresh air. If I force myself to get out and do something, I feel much better. even if it is just groceries. Some human contact helps immensely.

Tulla

I am also very early in this, and I am still overwhelmed by how little I did as an active alcohol abuser.

Now, surveying the damges and lack of maintenance my life has endured, it can only get better from here.

Tiny steps, make each day a little better is all I am shooting for right now. For me, it is not waiting for something big to occur, but being thankful that everything is getting better, even if it is in the slow healing that is now taking place within.

Commited2Change

And there is my leason for today!!! just like the old saying goes... " a diet is a tempoary fix"

i will no longer treat my recovery like a diet.. wanting instant results... i want to change my lifeatyle and contiune to live more healthy...

Applecrumble

You're doing great pataphor. Tiny steps are great because they are tiny steps forward on the right path through the correct jungle. That's always 100 per cent improvement on living the addiction. Always.

Ohio1

AA and SR have helped me so much with these feelings- from what I have gleaned so far people report feeling all sorts of wacky stuff for anywhere from 30 days to 6 months but they are pretty unanimous that eventually you feel wonderful and it all becomes funny memories. It helps to shut your mind off and sort of remember that it isn't "real". It is real but it kinda isn't at the same time- it is an effect from chemicals having been poured into our heads for so long.

Pataphor

6 months...I went that long once. I do have a dim memory of a friend saying near the end of that time "you seem happier". That in itself is a wonderful gift to remember, thank you all for relating and sharing.
much peace.

Dee74

I think a lot of us forget we didn't end up 'here' overnight - so we can't really expect to get better overnight either.

I dig myself a deep hole...it took a while to climb out...but I did

stick with it Pataphor

D

awuh1

I have a very strong intuitive sense that you would benefit from some form of moderate exercise. If you are already doing this I stand corrected, but if I’m correct I’ll also bet the idea repulses you.

If this is the case I would suggest that you do some fast walking. After about 2 weeks some very fast walking. Do it for 25 mins a day at least 5 days a week (never miss more than 1 consecutive day). Get your heart rate up in the first 2 and ½ mins let it back down in the last 2 and ½ mins.

Keep track of how you are feeling by rating your moods (1 to 10) on the calendar. My hunch is that your mood will improve in the 2 to 3 week timeframe.

Just so you know, I don’t run around recommending this all the time. But once in a while I just have a feeling……….

YEM

I didnt get into serious exercise until I had about 9 months clean. I wish I would have sooner as it has really made a huge positive difference in all aspects of my life.

Pataphor

You are very right about exercise Awuh1, if i read my writings I do sound like a blob. Its more a mental problem for me right now.

I am a fitness/cycling instructor (really isn't that funny) ...I spin 6 times a week, I don't see it as exercise anymore just what I do. If I don't exercise regularly I am a monster, and that was when I was drinking...try teaching spin with a hangover, now that really is loads of fun. I should go lift some weight....you reminded me of that so thanks!

artsoul

I had to force myself to be patient at first - it was a real change for me, but I found that if I started stressing out about things, I felt worse (emotionally, mentally and even physically), plus it made me want to drink.

If you can "keep it simple" for a while, I think it's a good thing.

awuh1

did I get that one wrong!
.................................................. ....Don't tell anyone....

DoubleBarrel

I have to reply because I said the exact same thing as your op.
not a version of it, the exact same thing.
I told my wife, I feel like I'm waiting for something to happen.
It goes away over time, give yourself some time, and slowly make things happen. It takes a long while to undo what we've done and patterns we've ingrained. I think in part, I was always waiting for that first drink of the day, and then it never came. Some days, I never even think about drinking anymore. Weird, but true.

ReadyAtLast

I can relate.I tryto get out and make myself do things-walk,gym etc. I feel better whilst doing it and after,even though it's an effort to get started.aim to do one thing each day and build from there

ReadyAtLast

how long sober were you when you stopped feeling stuck in time DB? thanks.

MythOfSisyphus

I'm three months in and sometimes I still do nothing. Just inertia I guess from 25 years of doing nothing but drink. Eventually we all learn how to live a different kind of life. Just don't expect life to magically get better. Sober is better but life is never perfect...it's just life.