Jopen

My husband has a drinking and pain pill problem. He has been out of work from a back injury for about 5 years. His pain pills that he gets from his pain management doctor only lasts him about 10 days. He drinks heavily when he has them. Then when he runs out he goes through withdrawals. He thinks that he has the flu every month. I told him recently that I think he is going through withdrawals. He has threaten to divorce me for implying that he is an addict. I tried to get his mom to help but she is the biggest enabler. She thinks her son is in a lot of pain that's why he is taking all the pills. Also she doesn't believe in cutting him off. What should I do? We have 2 kids. I am starting to recent him I don't want my kids to suffer. I'm in AZ and if we get divorced he'll still get parenting time because it's a joint custody state. Do I just wait for something bad to happen? Pls give me some advice. I feel so alone. We tried going to a marriage therapist and the therapist kicked out my husband because he wouldn't listen to the therapist. My husband thinks I'm the one with the problem.

BruceJ

Sorry that you're having to go through this. It seems that it becoming all-too common.
You could try, I suppose, to get him to be honest with his doctor regarding the drinking with the pills. (maybe give the dr a heads-up...just sayin...)
The usual pattern that I've seen is that he/she will start asking others, and trying to buy, pills from others when he runs out.
I wish I could offer some advise as to how to get a person to "reach bottom" quickly without it ruining other peoples' lives. I suppose you could try an intervention.
Sadly, if my pills and drinking are the only thing that make me feel good about myself.....and you want to take that away.....I'm going to dig my heels in.

Please take care of yourself and the kids.

All the best...prayers your way.

least

You obviously won't get any help from his mother if she thinks he 'needs' all those pills. And your husband doesn't have much chance at getting clean and sober unless he wants it for himself. Sounds like he's in denial, along with his mother.

I'd recommend getting counseling for you and your kids to help you cope with his addiction. Addiction is a family disease - it makes everyone sick, not just the addict.

john1967

There's a big difference between not being able to work and becoming depressed about it and being able to work, but not be willing to because of escalating addiction. I was semi-employed for almost 2 years until 4 months ago -- looking for a good job the entire time -- and I'll tell you...It depressed me. Real bad. And I drank because of it. I woke up every day with a pint and me on the laptop writing cover letters, etc. So if he isn't capable of working, the reason why he's self-medicating is apparent. Unemployment is one of the most stressful events a person can go through. And if he is capable of working? The result is still the same. He's an addict. I would suggest stressing to him the safety of the children, the fact that he's jeopardizing his health, and not only threaten to leave, but follow through with it if he doesn't change. You have to give him a chance however. Just don't back down if he continues.

Jopen

Thank you for all the advice and prayer. I have left a message with his doctor. I don't know if that will change anything. They said they will address the issue on his next appointment. I'm sure my husband will try to play it off and deny everything to his doctor. He has already started to buy extra pain pills from his so called "friend." All the things my counselor has told me seems to be coming true. Its sad but I think he will choose his addiction over me. I just wish he'd give up the kids and not fight me for them. I don't think I can share them with him knowing he has this problem and goes through mood swings.

sugarbear1

Is your life insurance paid up?

Jopen

Nope. We don't have one set up. I was thinking about it. Do you think my husband will die soon?