Elisabeth888

I didn't call my sponsor, which I know I should have. She is out of town and I didn't want to bug her.

Anyway, I didn't drink, and I am going to tell her about it today.

I argued with my husband and it made me want to chug liquor afterwards because I was so mad and hurt. Thank God I had no liquor to chug, because I might have.

I am so glad I did not drink. I would feel like such an idiot if I did. I have around a 100 days and am about to do my 5th step. I would have to get ANOTHER EFFING white chip. I couldn't bear it. Doing the same thing and expecting different results IS insane. Is it bad that looking like a jackass is a major deterrnant?

Anyway, I am going to continue to pray for God to take away the obsession and keep it away.

Elisabeth888

And I thought about that AWFUL feeling I would have if I drank. Mental and physical.

the thirst
the hurting stomach
the headache
the feeling of terror

I feel like a moron for even thinking about drinking.

Pondlady

E888,
Remembering how you'd feel later is such a good deter ant. I agree arguments with loved ones are big triggers, as we're already angry and feeling irrational, so why not get trashed on top of it?! Glad you are ok this morning and made it through without drinking. Thinking of you.

Sapling

You might want to get some other phone numbers you can use...I'm glad you didn't drink Liz....And I hope that fifth step is in your near future.

vegibean

YAY!!!!! Elisabeth, I didn't drink last night either, so congrats to both of us.

I know what you mean about that whole getting angry and you just want to say F it!!!

Glad you didn't. *****OOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

BlueEyedBoy

Elisabeth, you did amazing! What an inspiration to us all. Remember that feeling of success when the evil insidious thought of drink creeps in. Like Sapling said if you are in AA see if you can get some additional numbers.

escapist

I have had that experience. Intense desire for a drink. Mine came after an argument too. It is impossible to avoid arguing with my husband.
I just thought about everything I have done while drinking. I never have one. I always get drunk and dumb. I am glad you found your strength to overcome. Good girl.

Elisabeth888

The argument made me really mad and resentful.

I started thinking about how he still drinks (every night) and how disrespectful it is to my sobriety. What a hypocrite. He throws it in my face all of the stupid things I have done and how I put him through hell WITH A BEER IN HIS HAND. Hello, you are an alcoholic too, I just had consequences.

NewHouse2012

Hi there. This could be an exact post to what happened to me just 3 weeks ago when I relapsed. SAME EXACT thing. Hubby hurting my feelings, being totally insensitive, all so with a freaking beer in his hand (not his first beer mind you) he's a daily drinker. I was so shaken up and hurt I wanted to run as fast and hard from my feelings of anger resentment and hurt.
Woke up the next day feeling terrible. I lost my 115 days and now back to the drawing board. I don't know what to do if that happens again because it's inevitable it will happen. What are proper coping mechanisms besides drinking?

I'm glad you didnt drink
I'm really glad.
Awesome job

Elisabeth888

I was supposed to call my sponsor. I am in AA. Calling people helps.

You and I should stick together with the drinking spouse thing going on. AA is awesome because I have a group of friends now that do not drink. I can't be around it ALL the time. I need sober people in my life.

Sorry you drank. Come here next time and post! PM me or someone else.

I have relapsed so many times I can't even count it. I am so sick of starting over. I want to be sober more than I want to drink. Drinking at husbands doesn't help.

vegibean

Newhouse, you didn't lose those days, you still have them. I had almost five years, and here I am with you all doing the same thing, trying to get back on board. So far so good for me. I'm sorry about your slip though, just remember, you're not the only one, and the next time that happens, reach out to someone who will listen and of course, you know you can always come here and someone will be here for you. This site is great, isn't it? :ghug3

Xune

Food for thought.

My wife understands I had a serious drinking problem and she is not only proud of my sobriety, she supports my new alcohol free lifestyle.

She hardly ever drinks and never casually at home. Sometimes, it we are out socializing, in an effort to support me, she won't have a drink. Together almost 15 years, she has only been intoxicated twice.

Why am I telling you all this?

My wifes support is a mechanism that holds me to account and is most appreciated. If my wife drank heavily, I don't know how I could stay sober over the long term.

If that were the case, I would haven to have a very serious talk with her. My life depends on my staying sober.

Dee74

I'm glad you didn't drink Elizabeth.
Sap is probably right about getting other phone numbers.

Elizabeth maybe he's not thinking about your sobriety?
I got pretty caught up in myself when I was drinking....

Resentment is like acid - it really eats us up.
If you can talk to your sponsor about this I think it might be a good idea.

nonblondechef

Is it bad that looking like a jackass is a major deterrnant?

Hell no - it is one of the major things that keeps me stopped and sober. Great job, sweetie - very proud of your great decision in a very tight spot. You got this! Hugs, NBC