Did you think you were 'all that'?
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 3,065
When you were high or drunk or both?
I thought I was the life of the party and ultra cool for being on drugs. Or chilled out, wise and misunderstood. I thought I was funny when I was drunk. I had an identity....
In reality, i am pretty sure i was just annoying and people saw track marks and erratic behaviour. Back in the day, nobody ever saw me anything but high or drunk or coming down and going mental. Anything but cool.
I thought I was the life of the party and ultra cool for being on drugs. Or chilled out, wise and misunderstood. I thought I was funny when I was drunk. I had an identity....
In reality, i am pretty sure i was just annoying and people saw track marks and erratic behaviour. Back in the day, nobody ever saw me anything but high or drunk or coming down and going mental. Anything but cool.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
When I was drunk, I was convinced every girl thought I was charming and all the lads thought I was a crackin' good time. Well, I may have been for the first few drinks, but by the end of the night when I am trying to fight my best friends or vomiting in the bushes, I am not too cool...
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 603
I usually feel like I'm on the outside looking in at social gatherings unless I have known everyone for a long time. Doesn't matter if no one is drinking including me, if no one is drinking and I've drank before hand, if everyone is drinking except me, or if everyone is drinking including me.
I went on a snow camping trip and was at a restaurant with people I had just met that weekend. People were talking up a storm, laughing, telling stories. I've got plenty of stories, but I couldn't get a word in edgewise and just wanted to go back to the motel room, but I had carpooled to the restaurant from the motel with someone, so I just sat there and felt alienated.
I'm the kind of person who does fine talking one on one with someone, but as soon as a third person joins the conversation, it becomes too watered down for my tastes.
Must be a function of being the youngest of my siblings, who moved away from home when I was young, so I was basically alone and am not used to boisterous conversation.
Me? The life of the party? No. I never had any delusions about that. If I feel like I'm joining in in equal measure, it's a successful get-together.
I prefer being the confidante. I'm pretty darn good at it. There's nothing more gratifying to me than having someone say, "I've never told this to anyone before." It's like telling me that I'm trustworthy.
I worked a temp job recently where I was working with one other person. The other person varied depending on the schedule. Several of them told me really personal stuff after I had only worked with them for a few hours. I liked it.
Have I ever gotten sloppy at a party? Sure, but I had no illusions that I was "entertaining."
I went on a snow camping trip and was at a restaurant with people I had just met that weekend. People were talking up a storm, laughing, telling stories. I've got plenty of stories, but I couldn't get a word in edgewise and just wanted to go back to the motel room, but I had carpooled to the restaurant from the motel with someone, so I just sat there and felt alienated.
I'm the kind of person who does fine talking one on one with someone, but as soon as a third person joins the conversation, it becomes too watered down for my tastes.
Must be a function of being the youngest of my siblings, who moved away from home when I was young, so I was basically alone and am not used to boisterous conversation.
Me? The life of the party? No. I never had any delusions about that. If I feel like I'm joining in in equal measure, it's a successful get-together.
I prefer being the confidante. I'm pretty darn good at it. There's nothing more gratifying to me than having someone say, "I've never told this to anyone before." It's like telling me that I'm trustworthy.
I worked a temp job recently where I was working with one other person. The other person varied depending on the schedule. Several of them told me really personal stuff after I had only worked with them for a few hours. I liked it.
Have I ever gotten sloppy at a party? Sure, but I had no illusions that I was "entertaining."
Member
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: SE and then South some more
Posts: 2,648
No, never, for the most part my drinking was fun and social until I married my XH, and learned many things about him within our marriage that kicked my drinking into high gear and me into a major depression. I still can't drink for fun though, I have just recently learned that. 
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 37
Originally Posted by tomsteve 
at one point i did. but then i crossed a line into the pit of uselessness, worthlessness, hopelessness, and helplessness. greatful im not there today.
I used to be the DD at parties, never drank. Girls liked me, I'd get asked to hang out or go to lunch etc..
Then I started drinking. Totally changed everything. I was the a-hole and got in to fights, I stopped getting asked out by women. It has taken me years to figure out why I do not have as many girlfriends, but then again I was drunk for years.....
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: fort wayne, IN.
Posts: 1,085
I don't know if I ever felt like I was the life of the party. I always felt like an oddball. Drinking helped me forget that I was one. I could tell myself that I am like everyone else at a party. The real bummer about it is that I still was'nt like everyone else. I was an alcoholic. I don't drink to have fun. I drink to get by.
Re-Tread
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Meditation
Posts: 1,300
Yes I did. I let what I thought others perceived me as define me for many years. I lived a lie and built a pretty great life based on it. Im finding out that nobody cares how or who I am on the outside. How cool I am and my props to that end dont matter in the least. My wife, People here and IRL at meetings and my true friends care about who I am on the inside. All these years I never knew it. Its great to find out that people love you for exactly who you are.
Its up to me to learn how to be and share who I really am. I never lived that way as a teen or adult. If I go back to wanting to be 'all that', Ill probably end up drunk high and dead.
Its up to me to learn how to be and share who I really am. I never lived that way as a teen or adult. If I go back to wanting to be 'all that', Ill probably end up drunk high and dead.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: New york
Posts: 82
Originally Posted by HereIAm321
But sober, I'm "all that" AND a bag of chips!!!
#TeamSoberLiving
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: ma
Posts: 242
I was the party. Many would have agreed.. theeonly problem was, like a lot of us, after a certain point I wasn't as amazing as I thought I was lol! Sure I was witty and fun. But sadly a lot of my jokes came at someone elses expence... I was called Frank the tank. And I'm a girl. Nuff said!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Des Moines IA
Posts: 377
Adjusting for the value of then to now dollars, I was worth over 6m, a healthy 26yr old kid, owned 30 properties. Mostly homes, but also a couple of small apartment buildings, a vacation property, I had a fulltime gofer and was trying to decide between purchasing a Rolls or a high-end Porche. My wife didn't get along with my girlfriends very well, and the state regulators were interested but otherwise things were suave.
In my mind, drinking was required if I was to reduce myself to a condition where I could tolerate being in contact with lesser folk, so I would not dazzle them unintentionally and we could communicate somewhat.
My drinking was at it's worst ever, and I was as miserable a human being as any I've yet met, but in answer to your original question I would have to say 'yeah'.
In sobriety that earlier experience helped me understand when new people are absolutely sure they are not alcoholic because they finished school, are under 42 and look even younger, their spouse was talking with them as of last week, they know people to drink with, are only one month behind on the rent, their uncle promised he'd get their car running tomorrow, and if the boss doesn't find out about last weekend they've still got one final last chance warning to go on their job.
Obviously far, far too much going for them for the "A" word to ever possibly apply.
In my mind, drinking was required if I was to reduce myself to a condition where I could tolerate being in contact with lesser folk, so I would not dazzle them unintentionally and we could communicate somewhat.
My drinking was at it's worst ever, and I was as miserable a human being as any I've yet met, but in answer to your original question I would have to say 'yeah'.
In sobriety that earlier experience helped me understand when new people are absolutely sure they are not alcoholic because they finished school, are under 42 and look even younger, their spouse was talking with them as of last week, they know people to drink with, are only one month behind on the rent, their uncle promised he'd get their car running tomorrow, and if the boss doesn't find out about last weekend they've still got one final last chance warning to go on their job.
Obviously far, far too much going for them for the "A" word to ever possibly apply.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: UK
Posts: 1,145
Yeah, at the time I did think I was 'all that' when I was drinking and dancing and generally being obnoxious. I look back now and cringe. So embarrassing.
I now think 'all that' has a totally different definition to what I used to.
I now think 'all that' has a totally different definition to what I used to.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Between the Moon & the Stars
Posts: 211
When I was drinking I thought everyone else was a moron. Stupid, useless and in my way. I stopped drinking in public about 5 years ago because I knew I couldn't control it. Before that time, I thought I was hysterical. People always laughed when I was around. I figured they were laughing WITH me. Nope, they were laughing AT me. How did I miss that?!?
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