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Now what?

Old 01-11-2013, 09:23 PM
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Unhappy Now what?

my son just turned 18. He still lives at home and is enrolled in an online program to finish his high school diploma. He is a bright, outgoing, good looking and loving, young man. He got involved with the wrong group of friends his freshman year of high school and since then, he has been so up and down. Even though we no longer live near them, he still continues to continue his bad habit!! I have continuously caught him smoking weed! I know when he does, even by talking to him on the phone. Before turning 18, I have done everything from grounding him to scheduling an appointment with a rehabilitation facility. When we talk about it, he says he knows and he's not addicted and that he is done and is gonna get it together. Well, now he is 18! I caught him yesterday, while he was suppose to be watching my boyfriends 8 year old! I feel so hurt, so angry, and so lost! What are my options? What do I do? I don't even trust my own son, my baby, in my house alone!! I won't give up and I won't kick him out! I just have to figure this out!!!
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Old 01-12-2013, 03:37 AM
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Old 01-12-2013, 03:43 AM
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to the family! He's shown you he can't be trusted so I sure would't let him watch a small child anymore. Who knows what could happen. Why won't you kick him out of your house? I'd consider it. He's a legal adult now and should be able to work and support himself. He's breaking your rules and doing as he pleases and doesn't intend any different behavior as long as there are no consequences.
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Old 01-12-2013, 04:02 AM
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He's an adult. He can make his own choices. You don't control his person anymore.

You do have control over your home, so if he is living there you could not allow him to smoke pot on the property, but realize he'll just smoke pot someplace else with increased risk of arrest.

Is he finishing his high school diploma? Is he working? Lots of people--productive, healthy, bright people--smoke marijuana regularly. We're not talking about a physically addictive substance like H here. Pot doesn't make nice people into junkies. Sure, you'd like your son to not smoke pot, but once your child hits eighteen he's like the Honeybadger--he can do what he wants.

Also, take some consolation in the fact that statistics indicate most men who smoke pot between 18 and 23 taper off in use in their late 20s. And probably the worst thing that might happen to an eight-year-old from hanging out with your son when he's baked is that he might develop a particular affection for Goldfish crackers and the music of Pink Floyd..
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