Samalone

Just signed up yesterday and am really grateful for the feedback. I look forward to the time when I might offer something helpful too but dont feel I'm the one to give advice. Aftr 12+ years on this tornado Im ready to bust out, I just don't know how to distance myself, like how can I not think about her in self destruct mode. I know I need to get off on my own trip but this person has also been my best friend since 95. My existence is totally insular and repetitive..in f+f forum im sure most of you all have seen the same crap ive seen over the years so don't need to share anecdotes but probably will down the line anyway..suffice to say it's as ugly and nasty as you can imagine and then some..started packing some things and right away started feeling like I was exacerbating the situation really difficult not to react with anger..

ODAT63

While reading your thread, here I heard Maroon 5....
You and I go hard at each other like we're goin' to war You and I go rough, we keep throwin' things and slammin' the door You and I get so damn dysfunctional, we stopped keepin' score You and I get sick, yah, I know that we can't do this no more. But baby there you go again, there you go again, making me love you. Yeah, I stopped using my head, using my head, let it all go. Got you stuck on my body, on my body, like a tattoo. And now I'm feeling stupid, feeling stupid, crawling back to you. So I cross my heart and I hope to die That I'll only stay with you one more night And I know I said it a million times But I'll only stay with you one more night.

Yes there is a song for the dysfunctional like us... Hope you can detach with love.

vegibean

Google 211.org in your area, and please call them. See if there is somewhere you can go, if there is someone who can help, is there a detox you can bring her to. I just read some of your posts... Handsanitzer?? That's so harsh and desperate.

You're right, you being angry isn't going to help, she's down at the bottom and from what you say, is there any hope for her?

I have watched three people die for alcohol, and I do mean from drinking too much, it killed them. They were all in their 40's, and if you count my last counselor, she slipped and passed away in her early 50's.

It will kill her, there's no doubt about it. I used to think that was crazy, but nope, it's true.

You have to have a plan, and I hope you can get off this scary merry-go-round that you're on. Sounds pretty bad.

vegibean

I love running to that song, but it reminds me of past, very bad, and unhealthy relationships I have been in...

Samalone

dig it, but my tastes more towards slayer'.......

Time melts away in this living inferno, Trapped by a cause that I once understood.
Terrible feeling building inside of me, who will I really have to answer to

Do only what is expected of me, With no emotions my feelings suppressed. Blind obedience carries me through it all. Conscience a word I learned to forget..(J. Hannemin)

As far as detox goes shes been thru it..wont go into inpatient care says shed be better off looking for a job lol..but she never does..time for me to raise up..

I really enjoy the little phrases/parables people put up like the eagles lyric and the yoda line...

vegibean

Yoda lines??? I just went to the Star Wars Convention this past year with all of my three men, we're all fans, and it was my idea!!

To answer power with power, the Jedi way this is not. In this war, a danger there is, of losing who we are.

--YODA, Star Wars: The Clone Wars, "Lair of Grievous"

How's that for ya??

Samalone

I mean "either do or do not, there is no try"

Samalone

But yeah yours is good too drop some more..

Tuffgirl

Its a popular tag line, for obvious reasons, and it applies to all of us on each forum here. I use it myself as a daily reminder that trying is not doing.

Hang in there,
~T