Missy7

I would like one more check in with the community.

I find that my best bet to stay sober is to come home and to just stay here. For example, tonight I really want to go to, get this, my quilt guild. Sounds pretty safe, doesn't it? But I'm afraid I might stop for a drink on the way home.

How long did you just stay home before you felt like you could move around with a reasonable sense of safety?

escapist

I stayed home for 11 days. Went to the store for halloween candy. I was so nervous. I let a week go by before I went to a store again. Alcohol just jumped out at me. It took about 6 weeks until I was'nt rattled. I remeber going through the produce section of the grocery store and there was a dump table full of hundres of little bottles of wine. I did a double take like a teenage girl who just passed a cute guy. I just stared for a second. I will have 3 months in a few days. I can pass alcohol without breaking my neck now.

Sapling

My last two years of drinking I only left the house to get more alcohol....Not a good place for me to be. I took the advice from my counselor in rehab and did 90 meetings in 90 days+. It got me out of the house and more important....Out of my head. Another place I shouldn't be alone.

Aems

I never stayed home safe. I went about my normal life and I did what I had to do to not pick up that first drink again and for me that meant joining up with an AA group. Do it!~ You'll be glad you did this wonderful thing for yourself. If not AA, then some sort of support group besides here.

Eliz181144

Great question, Missy. I am wondering that too. I have 10 days and am almost a shut in. I walk the dog and don't venture much beyond a few blocks from my house. I have pretty intense panic when I out of my comfort zone.

mecanix

I stayed in "lockdown" of work>supermarket>home for about 3 months as thats was when i could walk down the supermarket aisle with alcohol and not get the feeling i might like to pick a bottle up .
I went to a bar for the first time in the daytime for a leaving doo after about 6 months .

I'm now 16 months out and don't feel worried about where i go .. but i don't think i'd like to hang round in a pub or bar for very long as they are a bit dull if one isn't drinking .

I always prefer to avoid temptation than have to suffer it .

Bestwishes, M

SSIL75

I did the opposite IIRC. I went out a lot. I loved driving sober at night.

EternalQ

Hi Missy, good job protecting your sobriety.
My confidence waxed and waned a lot so I just listened to it. If it was super shakey I not only stayed home but I put on my pajamas so I wouldn't drive to the liquor store.

I also had SR via my phone so I knew I could check in no matter where I was. And boy did I ever do that! Lol

I also told a minimim of one key person in every area of my life. Work. Neighbor. Family. Friend. Etc. If I felt I had to go somewhere while feeling shakey I made sure they were near or available by text for support.

I also canceled last minute sometimes if I felt shakey.

I also spent time with friends and family who weren't drinkers who I previously ignored for that reason. Turns out they were fun! Who knew?

And then there was my live in sober buddy: my wonderdog. I told him everything.

Anyway, be cautious, and in time your confidence will broaden.

If you want to, you could tell us, go to the guild, tell us when you're leaving and sign on when you get home to let us know how it went.

But if you feel shakey with that idea, don't risk it.

FreeFall

It seems to vary hugely person to person. If you feel you could handle it, an activity you enjoy might be an upper for you. Can you stick all the reasons NOT to stop on the way home on your dashboard in case you have a moment of weakness?

For me, I'm too social a person to stay in all the time. It would make not drinking feel like even more of a punishment. I also look at it like I wouldn't feel I had truly conquered it if I couldn't go about my normal life-it would still have chains around me. I also like driving sober at night

Marius76

I'm feeling similar here, under a guilt quilt too with the fire on. I'd normally go out far more than this (not at all), but I figure it's been 10 days and next week I'm going to try to be social, and of course, sober.

Not an easy answer to this is there?!

TrixMixer

Hi Missy,

There is nothing wrong with staying home everyday if you think going out might tempt you. The fact you have a little anxiety about the quilting guild, I would not go. there will be plenty of time for that once you are on more solid sobriety footing.

I was like Mecanix--Home-work-food store on way home from work. Once I was in I stayed in. I will say my only entertainment was going to the Library and reading everything I could get my hands on about alcoholism. It got me out of the house around other people, and nothing there reminded me in the least of alcohol---and I learned a lot. I even read the paper there or at bookstores.

One day you will know you are ready for the outside world, everyone is different . You know yourself best.

Stay Strong / Stay Sober
TrixMixer

Missy7

Very interesting answers. I do come home and change into sweats to make it hard to go out, but I also know that I need to get out and have fun. But I'm only on Day 8 so I'm being careful--and probably catching up on sleep.

I probably get in trouble because I don't want to spend time alone--so I have to learn to do it. And our "haunts" are really "bars," so I don't know how fun they would be sober. Hmmm.....

Going to the guild though. It's too fun to skip.

Dee74

I think we all know when we're ready Missy...

for me anything like bars or anything alcohol centered was out for months... but anything non alcohol related was ok...welcome in fact.

D

EternalQ

Enjoy the guild, Missy! Let us know how it goes...

Missy7

Made it home sober--yay. Thanks guys.

EternalQ

Excellent!

vegibean

YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm so glad you did, and I hope you had a great time!!