Missy7

I'm on Day 8 and I feel really strong. I've been studying AVRT and I think it will help me fight the battles that arise, well, every day.

But I have a question for those of us who have lasted a little while.

Do you remember about when your reaction to every drama was to want to drink? We had a serious family problem yesterday (hubby got a bad work review--again) and I almost went off the deep end.

When does alcohol stop seeming like the "universal solution"?

Natom

Hey Missy,

I think the moment we stop getting urges to use is different for everybody. I haven't had an urge to use for a while now and I have been going through some pretty tough family stuff recently. However the last thing I wanna do is get complacement about it. There's just no point in drinking over a bad situation. Shout and scream if you want too. Maybe even punch a wall. Whatever floats your boat. As long as you don't drink (or violate any laws in your area lol)

Natom.

YEM

It differs for everyone I think and it depends on how much work you put into changing. The little voice in my head that tells me to use evolves and changes its tactics over time. It went from telling me to use to just generally feel better when that didnt work it got loud at times of stress, when that didnt work it got quiet and would whisper when I was have absolutely great days, saying "you deserve to have a glass of wine with your mom, she flew all the way down to see you, you guys are so happy! Why not join in?" when that didnt work it now out of nowhere tells me when I am in the bathroom shaving, "hey you know your girlfriend has those pain pills in that cabinet right there, pop a couple real quick and relax this evening."

I dont know if anyone else's path is similar to that but thats how mine talks to me. It is very infrequent now though. I would say it took a good 6 months of solid work (steps, sponsor, meetings) before I started getting many days in a row without thinking of using. Now I get a fleeting thought maybe once or twice a month.

ddrayer

Hey Missy, I am on day 9 and feel the exact same way. I almost keep hoping for a hard day so I have an excuse to drink. I almost posted a very similar thing today. I have been told by others that the longer you go the smaller the urge. I am constantly envious of the people who speak in meetings saying that one day they woke up and the urge was gone!

misterritter

I would counsel against punching a wall, unless you are adept at drywall repair, and, yes, I speak from personal experience.

One thing I have realized is that drinking does not help me cope. It only delays dealing with problems which usually makes them worse. I don't have that much time and still get urges to drink but I have begun to see what life without drinking is like and I like it.

Its good to hear from people with more time that the urges do go away, but even if they don't, truly realizing what the consequences would be if I gave in help me to not drink.

ddrayer

I am doing some home remodel. If you do need some drywall repair I have become pretty adequate at it, so just give me a ring :-P

Flyin2BFree

nice to knwo I'm not alone

once an alcoholic always an alcoholic rings thru me, and I even used that as an excuse to drink for quite a while. the AVRT has really helped me turn a corner is seperating the Best from myself.

great thread
Todd

mecanix

I had annoying cravings in august for the last week of the hot weather there was, since then i've had no desires to drink.
I try to keep the tools and techniques for dealing with it fresh just incase, as friends with sobriety a lot longer than me still get urges .

Bestwishes, M

Dee74

It got better the more situations/crises I faced sober Missy.

It stopped being an imperative pretty quickly really...it downgraded itself down to just a thought, or an impulsive reaction definitely by 90 days...

I think it was my second year tho when I was conscious I'd faced something bad and not thought about alcohol at all.

your mileage may vary of course

D

RiverFriend

Hi Missy, on Day 8 right along with you and can only talk about this from my previous two years sober. For me, the urges definitely dwindled down after the first 3-6 months but am sure it's different for everyone. With that said, if it ever went away altogether, I wouldn't be on Day 8 again.

FreeFall

I'm almost at 6 months and I still think of drinking right away when I have a stressful day. At one month I had to really talk myself out of it over and over again. About 3 months in it was more like I'd mutter to myself "if this doesn't make me drink nothing will grrrrrrrrrrr) Now it's more like "crap, would love to have a drink. What's Plan B?". Plan B is just about anything but drinking. Drinking doesn't seem like a solution to anything anymore. That's a recent
development.

I do notice I am so much less stressed than I used to be. My life is handing me more stressful things, but it's easier to deal with them. I don't let things get out of control as much either-dealing more with problems at the beginning when they're smaller.

Hang in there, you're doing well, and that was a great question!

change96

"When does alcohol stop seeming like the universal solution"?
Hi Missy, I am on day 31 of sobriety and have so many things yet to relearn about myself. But I struggled with that same question the first two weeks as well. But it donned on me that alcohol was the end all cure all for good and bad things that have happened in my life for the last twenty years. For me, it was just figuring out that it is just a thought pattern that needed to be changed. Now I just take a walk and my head stays clear and alcohol free.

Threshold

wanting a drink...as in wanting the taste, sound and feel of the glass or bottle in my hand, dissipated earlier than wanting the so called relief/escape. That still jumps out at me when I am having a hard time and I feel like I have run out of skills to cope with it.

I go into "just get me outta here" mode, and sometimes drinking/drugging still pop into my mind. Then I realize they will only trap me further, and I find another way.

The more I choose to not go there, and I survive, the less powerful the urge to "go there" gets, and less frequent.

It really does get better, easier, and in time mostly a non issue

SSIL75

That's a really good question and for me gets to the heart of my alcoholism.

I remember well that urge to drink at every emotional anomaly. As a adult-lifelong alcoholic my skillset was limited to that one solution.

I also used AVRT and for me the solution was to identify those feelings as typical alcoholic ones. Then deliberately choose a healthy solution.

Example: "My H got another bad review and I want to drink. I want to drink because I'm an alcoholic. Not because he got a bad review. A normal reaction to a spouse repeatedly underperforming at work would be ________" (go for a walk, alone. Acknowledge the painful feelings of realizing a spouse is... incompetent? Lazy? Deliberately risking our livelihood? in the wrong job? Whatever it may be).

I remember well the panic that comes with a craving. But let it go. It's scary to feel like you want to drink. But it's just a feeling. An alcoholic wanting to drink is 1000% normal and I can promise you it won't last forever. I haven't had an alcoholic craving in a very, very long time.

I know you can do this, Missy.

LadyinBC

I had a lot of urges in the beginning of my sobriety. I am now 5 months and can say that for me it did get easier. I still do get them, but definately not as many as I did in the beginning. Stay strong you can do this! Take it a minute at a time if you have to. That is what I did.