Commited2Change

So my addiction keeps whispering in my ear that your 20s are the fun years and you are allow to make crazy mistakes.. But my sober mind is yelling saying alchool is the cause of most of these problems!!!

I kno there are alot of older / wiser recovering addicts on here... Any advice to surpress these annoying whispers from my addiction?

bbthumper

I spent my 25th birthday in rehab. Ive been sober since. I had a hard time believing that at 25 my drinking and using days were over.
I joined AA a learned a few things. One was that there were a lot of folks much older than I still drinking and unsuccessfully trying the same methods to control their drinking that I had been trying. I met a lot of older sober folks whose drinking patterns were very similar to mine. I was told that I didnt have to learn just from my own mistakes but that I could learn from their mistakes as well. It helped convince me that I could never drink successfully again.
After working a program of recovery for a while, I came to the realization that those thoughts of "Im only 25 and I never get to drink again" turned into "Thank God I learned what my problem was when I was only 25.What a gift"
Im convinced now that I am not missing out on anything by being sober at a young age. It is quite the opposite. I have a life now beyond anything I would have planned for myself 5 years ago.

LadyinBC

After I knew I was an alcoholic, I looked back and you know it has always been there since I was small. I remember family fights on holidays cause of drinking. I remember my parents both drinking and becoming alcoholics. I remember drinkings lots when I was younger, not everyday, but when I did drink I didn't stop until I passed out.

The lightbulb went off when I was 47 years old and now I have some health issues because of it. Today I have to get my teeth pulled and get dentures.

Thumper is right, you got a gift!

Natom

Hey Commited,

My names Tom. I'm 23. And I am an addict. I first fell through the door of a Narcotics Anonymous meeting two months after my 21st birthday. 18 months later I had managed to get three 6 month periods of clean time with relapses between them. I've been in the rooms of recovery since then. But I wouldn't say I started my recovery till early last year. We have the best opportunity possible. So many people I see say they wasted their 20's and 30's to addiction. If we get it now we are golden. Sometimes I get envious of people my age going out and getting wasted. I love drugs and alcohol but they don't love me. And I've accepted that. If you get it now you can keep it going for the rest of your life. If you don't...well you can keep struggling for the rest of your life. I know which one seemed better to me.

Natom.

doggonecarl

I ignored my rational mind and listened to my addiction. Drank for twenty four more years.

Do whatever it takes to stay sober.

GhostFace

I'm 26 and today is my 8th day sober. Thought like this constantly occupy my mind but the motivation comes from the older people in this forum. Thought like, what am I going to do now that I'm sober and all my friends drink and smoke?

I learned to only focus on the now. We are only granted 24 hours to live and that's why I focus on the present. I don't know what tomorrow will bring but I'm ready. Now that I don't drink, I'm using my time to read, eat healthy, exercises and work on my own business.

Good luck and stay healthy!

YEM

I put the dope down when I was 28. When I used to have thoughts about the fun years, it helped me when I assured myself that I had a "good" run and there was no more fun to be had drinking and using. Of that I am sure.

As time goes on, I find that the drinking and using was actually limiting my fun, not contributing to it. Life is much better now.

Sulu1

Im 20 and today is my 4th day sober. Believe me, i've used the 'ahh i'm only young excuse' plenty of times, until I realised I was an addict of course. I'm pretty sure I nearly died in my sleep once as I vomited while passed out and woke up in not a nice state, but in the nick of time.

I drank for years to suppress my insecurities and emotions, started with a beer every night and quickly got out of control, i'm tired of suppressing them now, I want to understand them by myself

janiebluebird

I'm 28 and this is my second attempt at sobriety. It helps me to think about what an impediment alcohol has been to my furthering myself along in life and how its usage has sabotaged certain goals I was trying to achieve. Just from not going out last weekend, I was able to buy an IPad, which I have been using at the gym to watch Netflix - two huge pluses just from the past week. I'm healthier, more productive, and my moods aren't a freaking roller coaster.

I relate to you more than you know, thinking that you're supposed to have fun in your 20's. I struggle most at the time of the weekends when I know everyone else is out having fun. That was my pattern, to binge drink all weekend in NYC, crash a friends' apartments, waste all my money on food, alcohol, and cigarettes. What a waste. Try to remind yourself how much you'll be able to get ahead & how much better your life will be without using.

ScottFromWI

Personally I think addictive bug is with you your entire life. If it's a problem, the earlier you can quit the better. Your body can recover a lot faster when you are younger too, so you are making a great choice.

Db1105

I got sober one month before my 18th birthday. I started college when I was 20, graduated when I was 24, married with my career at 25. At no time did I not have fun. Met my wife in school, she's a social drinker and had no problem hanging around my group of recovering youngster.

Summer beach houses, winter ski houses, traveling, going out to nice restaurants, clubs, concerts, shows, game nights, movie nights, boxing nights, etc.. You name it, we did it. We just didn't drink

There were family parties, friend parties, picnics, rafting trips, canoe trips, hiking trips, and the like. Not drinking for an alcoholic is not a death sentence of fun. It gives us the oppurtunity to live life to the fullest. It all come down to my attitude. I could wallow in self pity because I couldn't poison my body with alcohol, or I could get off my ass and do stuff.

Getting sober young gave me the oppurtunity to live life to the fullest, mentally, physically, and spiritually. For me, the Fellowship of Alcoholics Anonymous and The Twelve Steps got me out of me and showed me what I was gaining instead of losing.

hamabi

"So my addiction keeps whispering in my ear that your 20s are the fun years and you are allow to make crazy mistakes"

Mine were pretty rough on occasions when my drinking brought me trouble and also fun at times. Kind of the same as my teen years.

Whenever the law became involved they never shook their head, muttered "oh, these crazy kids" and dropped all charges because my age gave me carte blanche. Not everyone acts like an amused uncle or forgives like a mama when we cause damage or harm.

I got sober in my 20's because I found I couldn't expect to live well and drink and had to give one of those two things up.

I'm forever glad I made the right choice at that time. I'm getting to the threshold of old age and have remained sober so far. Read that as able to enjoy fun without needing and depending on others to ignore a really limitless number of crazy mistakes. How pitiful would I be, trying to sell the idea I should be forgiven yet again to people that I've offended, misused, or harmed through my 30s, 40s and 50s?

For those of us fortunate enough to miss the early ends common among drinkers by circumstance, our own hands, or our errors in judgement/perception of danger, the drinking alone can make for a hard life if we find we cannot stay stopped.

As you can tell I'm in favor of leaving the drinking life early, before we damage our lives beyond repair. But, people only can do what they are capable of doing. So, if it takes you until your 50s or 70s to lose the fantasy that life is enhanced by what your drinking is doing to you even now, then it is what it is.

Midlifecrisis

I spent my 21st in rehab, relapsed and for clean again at 22 and spent a long time in recovery. Newcomer again at 34 but I am grateful for all my years spent sober because I'd probably be dead otherwise. I'd certainly be in a very bad way. It stays with you forever so the sooner you can do something about it the better. Good luck.

Dee74

I knew all along I was a very bad drinker and drug taker... other people seemed to do it with ease.

I was not one of those people.
I was just too proud and scared to do what I knew I needed to do.

I waited until I was 40 to get into recovery - I wish I'd done it at 20.

D

Squizz

I'm 27. I had seven months sober at 21. I made the mistake of picking back up, and have never had a stint of sobriety longer than 4 months since.

You see, I wasn't like "you people". I went to meetings, and stayed dry and drug-free, but I felt like I was missing out on something. My life was much more balanced, but I hated it.

And all those "yets" that "you people" kept talking about eventually came true. I went to jail, detox, lost jobs, relationships, ended up homeless........twice, and on and on.

People in recovery know what they are talking about. And if you think you know better, you should probably listen harder. Take it from me.

soberlicious

I quit in my early 20's. I got tired of blacking out, hitting cars, going into debt, and waking up naked in strange places with people I didn't know. It was starting to really take a toll on my self-worth. I laughed it all off, but inside I was pretty disgusted with myself. I felt dirty and like a fraud all the time.

Through that, I managed to squeak by and graduate college. I started my career, quit drinking, went out had fun, dated (alot), met my husband, married, had kids...etc etc
We had a lot of fun. We bought a house, took trips, had parties, cook outs, bought a boat, fished...I didn't miss alcohol and I had SO MUCH FUN.
In my early 30's the little voice you're talking about started it's sh*t, and I was not prepared. I started drinking again. A binge that lasted 7 years and, for all intents and purposes, ended up killing me. I don't recommend the 2nd half of my story.

But I do recommend quitting early and enjoying your life to the fullest. You can party like a rock star...go anywhere and do anything you want. Booze does not make experiences better. Booze=fun is a stupid concept. Fun=fun...and that's the truth.

misterritter

I am pretty new to even trying for sobriety. I have only recently, in the past 4 months or so, realized I have a serious problem with alcohol. I am 37 and until recently probably never went more than a week without drinking since I was 20 or so. I have been confronting and discovering a lot about myself and how I have approached life lately. One thing I am starting to believe is that I really 'lost' a lot of my life to drinking. Rather than learn and grow as a person by living life, I drank. I drank to fall asleep, to have fun, to forget bad times, to celebrate good ones, to pass the time, and lots of other reasons. But another thing I think I did was to, I don't want to say waste, not live my life as meaningfully and fully as I would have liked. I know life isn't over by a long shot, and I am grateful to be where I am today, but I wish i had been in a place to go through this years ago.

Just my little story, hope it helps.

BlueEyedBoy

There are some excellent stories here Committed, and I don't have too much more to add apart from I am 24 and have been in recovery (not always sober mind you!) for a year. When I first went to AA at 23 I had the same doubts-too young, loads of fun to be had, can wait until later, etc. And what happened? My drinki RUINED everything.

Since I've been sober I've been to weddings, been on TV, been to concerts (including Nicki Minaj haha-never saw that coming), had a relationship, got some piercings and lots of other crazy things....all sober. Yeah there are times I see people my own age getting drunk, seemingly enjoying it and getting obliterated, and I get a twinge of jealousy. But good luck to them if they can handle it. I got sick of headaches, vomiting, not sleeping, paranoia, being skint, getting arrested, blacking out, etc....there really is no fun in that for me.

Keep the faith my friend- you can dooooo it!

Twenties

I'm 21 and have had 3 months sober. Growing up, I always laughed at the "old" people who warned of alcohol and drugs. Now, I realize how I should have listened to them.

I hope to continue listening, and taking their advice seriously..

Admiral

It's a logical fallacy; the assumption that you'll suddenly become wise some day and leave all of this immature party time stuff behind. If addiction is a progressive disease then it seems reasonable to assume that the longer we wait the worse it will get, and the harder it will be to quit.

Alcohol and drug abuse stunt growth, you can't become a better person if you're hiding behind a bottle or a cloud of smoke all the time. This means that when we get sober, we have some catching up to do, the longer we've been using, the more behind we'll be. If you want to reach your full potential then it makes sense to start as early as you can.