Help
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: moorpark, CA
Posts: 28
Help
I have 8 days sober now and im going insane.. i have been through hell and back this past week ending up in the suicide ward. im just so confused and lost.. any advice? Im checking into the betty Ford center hopefully will get in this week but that has also been another process. I have been in rehab now 3 times and cant seem to get it. This time im checking in for 90 days i just wanna be happy again. Ive lost everything im only 25 female and i know im a great person but the minute that bottle or those pills hit my lips i continue to use until i dont wake up. but i keep waking up. im so hurt ive had tradject things happen to me in my life and i also a father who is dying of the disease and i just want to numb myself but im so desperate to not take my fathers path. Im crying writing this just in tears i just wanna get it. im just crying out for help!
Member
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Welcome to SR Ashley x
The only thing I know is to not pick up that first drink and get all the support you can. I really believe if you can stay sober for one day then you can do it forever. You will get it, just keep trying and don't let this drag you down. You will find a mountain of support here, stick around
xxx
The only thing I know is to not pick up that first drink and get all the support you can. I really believe if you can stay sober for one day then you can do it forever. You will get it, just keep trying and don't let this drag you down. You will find a mountain of support here, stick around
xxx
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Welcome to SR Ashley...I'm glad you found us here....I never thought I'd get it either...It cost me everything. I found out for myself...That while rehab was great for me...It was what I did when I got out that mattered....I needed direction in life without alcohol...I found that in the program of AA....I couldn't do it alone....And I didn't have too What have you been doing for your recovery when you get out of rehab?
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 626
hi Ashley,
I'm new here too and my problem is also pain pills. That's great that you have 8 days sober!!! Try to be easy on yourself=) I know how tricky that obsessive thinking can be!!!
I think it's a great idea to go into a 90 day rehab. In the past, I did a 5 day detox and then a 30 day recovery treatment. I only wished it had been 90 days long.
One day at a time kiddo!!! Remember, you are NOT alone!!
Sending kind prayers and kind thoughts your way.
I'm new here too and my problem is also pain pills. That's great that you have 8 days sober!!! Try to be easy on yourself=) I know how tricky that obsessive thinking can be!!!
I think it's a great idea to go into a 90 day rehab. In the past, I did a 5 day detox and then a 30 day recovery treatment. I only wished it had been 90 days long.
One day at a time kiddo!!! Remember, you are NOT alone!!
Sending kind prayers and kind thoughts your way.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Newcastle
Posts: 908
Ashley well done on 8 days sober. Many of us here know the feeling of helplessness and despair drinking brings. You will get fantastic support on this forum i'm sure, you can do this, we all have the strength deep down, hell i'm beginning to think even I do.
Stay strong
Stay strong
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Staten Island, NY
Posts: 114
Welcome Ashley and congrats on 8 days....I think we all suffer from not being able to stop when we start....the mantra I keep using is, "just dont take the first drink"....its actually helping me a lot....I know its way easier said than done....keep reading here and keep posting....
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
Ashley, my recovery began in a rehab in 1989 after a suicide attempt. 90 days then straight into AA where I have been sober and sane for nearly 24 yrs.
Please Google and read AA's "The Doctors Opinion", "How It Works" and "The Promises of Alcoholics Anonymous". See if you can identify.
I wish you the best.
Bob R
Please Google and read AA's "The Doctors Opinion", "How It Works" and "The Promises of Alcoholics Anonymous". See if you can identify.
I wish you the best.
Bob R
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 654
Welcome Ashley,
Those first days/weeks of sobriety can be really hard, not only physically, but emotionally. We have all masked our emotions with substances, and once we take those substances out of the equations every feeling we have masked comes up to the surface. It can be frightening, but all it is, is us becoming human again.
Maybe while you're waiting to get into rehab you should reflect on your last trips to rehab. Think about your attitude and commitment while in the rehab, if you had a plan for when you got out, and if you stuck to a recovery plan after rehab. Many people go to rehab thinking that it is a magic cure, but really it is just a place to re-group, learn tools for living sober, and a break from all the choas of life, which allows us to put ourselves back together.
Hopefully they offer counseling in the rehab you are going to attend. I don't know where I would be today without counseling. Also, maybe after rehab you would adjust better if you went to sober living house or something like that.
Whatever you decide to do, don't give up. Someone once told me that the time to really worry about someone is when they stop asking for help. As long as we keep trying, there is still hope
Those first days/weeks of sobriety can be really hard, not only physically, but emotionally. We have all masked our emotions with substances, and once we take those substances out of the equations every feeling we have masked comes up to the surface. It can be frightening, but all it is, is us becoming human again.
Maybe while you're waiting to get into rehab you should reflect on your last trips to rehab. Think about your attitude and commitment while in the rehab, if you had a plan for when you got out, and if you stuck to a recovery plan after rehab. Many people go to rehab thinking that it is a magic cure, but really it is just a place to re-group, learn tools for living sober, and a break from all the choas of life, which allows us to put ourselves back together.
Hopefully they offer counseling in the rehab you are going to attend. I don't know where I would be today without counseling. Also, maybe after rehab you would adjust better if you went to sober living house or something like that.
Whatever you decide to do, don't give up. Someone once told me that the time to really worry about someone is when they stop asking for help. As long as we keep trying, there is still hope
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Canada. About as far south as you can get
Posts: 4,768
90 days in Betty Ford will (should) keep you dry for 3 months. Committing to AA after that will get and keep you sober for the rest of your life.
All the best.
Bob R
All the best.
Bob R
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: San Diego
Posts: 4,451
Oh, yeah, I can definitely relate. The first couple weeks were tough, no doubt. The voice of my addiction whispering at me the whole time, "Come on—you're making way too big a deal." Then, "You can't do this—I'll never stop bugging you until you drink!" On top of that, the sleeplessness. Laying awake, thinking of all the damage I'd caused. Yikes!
You know what? It didn't last. Now I hardly ever hear that voice, and when I do, I just ignore it until it goes away. Of course the addiction wants to drink, but I don't, and now I'm calling the shots. I sleep like a baby too. And all that damage? Well, I've still got some repairs to make, even after two years. But I've come a long, long way—and guess what? Once I stopped drinking, I stopped creating new messes to clean up.
My point is yes, it feels bad. I think that's common, even to be expected. These first few weeks are an investment in our future, and a rather small price to pay when you think about it. The rest of your life—free from addiction, free from the obsession. Free—really, truly free. This isn't about today—it's about tomorrow. Keep your eyes on the prize, keep moving forward, and you will get there. You'll be so grateful you persevered!
You know what? It didn't last. Now I hardly ever hear that voice, and when I do, I just ignore it until it goes away. Of course the addiction wants to drink, but I don't, and now I'm calling the shots. I sleep like a baby too. And all that damage? Well, I've still got some repairs to make, even after two years. But I've come a long, long way—and guess what? Once I stopped drinking, I stopped creating new messes to clean up.
My point is yes, it feels bad. I think that's common, even to be expected. These first few weeks are an investment in our future, and a rather small price to pay when you think about it. The rest of your life—free from addiction, free from the obsession. Free—really, truly free. This isn't about today—it's about tomorrow. Keep your eyes on the prize, keep moving forward, and you will get there. You'll be so grateful you persevered!
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome ashley -
I'm so glad you posted. I feel for you......my hardest years were in my 20's and I wasn't even drinking at the time, nor did I have a father dying from alcoholism.
I think it's very difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel when we first get sober. For a long time, I relied on the hope I found here to keep me going another day (or another hour). I promise you it will be worth it. And you totally can't go wrong with the Betty Ford center. A lot of us (myself included) went back to treatment more than once.
There's a couple sayings in AA: "keep it simple" and "easy does it." For me, that means just focusing on this moment, today, instead of thinking and worrying about the past or the future. Stay close to this forum, get yourself something really good to eat, and know that better days are ahead if you hang in there!:ghug3
I'm so glad you posted. I feel for you......my hardest years were in my 20's and I wasn't even drinking at the time, nor did I have a father dying from alcoholism.
I think it's very difficult to see the light at the end of the tunnel when we first get sober. For a long time, I relied on the hope I found here to keep me going another day (or another hour). I promise you it will be worth it. And you totally can't go wrong with the Betty Ford center. A lot of us (myself included) went back to treatment more than once.
There's a couple sayings in AA: "keep it simple" and "easy does it." For me, that means just focusing on this moment, today, instead of thinking and worrying about the past or the future. Stay close to this forum, get yourself something really good to eat, and know that better days are ahead if you hang in there!:ghug3
Recoveringed
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: Thump
Posts: 409
Really big hugs Ashley, I so feel for you. I'm an addict who can identify so much with your sentiments. I know you can get this! The alternative, of course, is a progressive nightmare, but recovery is a journey full of blessings if you're willing to seek them. Rehab or no rehab, there is nothing I would suggest more for addiction recovery than the 12 steps. An amazing gift and a beautiful way to live. I'm rooting for you!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,560
Welcome to the family Ashley. It's so good to have you be part of us.
I felt desperate, too, when I first came here. I calmed down a lot when I realized there were so many others who felt the same way. You're never alone - you have compassionate people to talk to. Please keep posting - as artsoul said, stay close to the forum. We all understand how you feel, and want to see you get well.
I felt desperate, too, when I first came here. I calmed down a lot when I realized there were so many others who felt the same way. You're never alone - you have compassionate people to talk to. Please keep posting - as artsoul said, stay close to the forum. We all understand how you feel, and want to see you get well.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,432
Hi ashleyr03
I can be really scary in early recovery, but there's a lot of support here
It really helped me to know I wasn't alone and I had people to talk to who understood.
why not join our Class of January thread - it's for everyone who quit drugs or alcohol this month
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-2-a-3.html
D
I can be really scary in early recovery, but there's a lot of support here
It really helped me to know I wasn't alone and I had people to talk to who understood.
why not join our Class of January thread - it's for everyone who quit drugs or alcohol this month
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...art-2-a-3.html
D
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Savannah
Posts: 190
My heart goes out to you during this difficult time but the pain you are feeling is necessary if you are ever going to get better; it is part of the process. I am glad you want more for yourself & wish you luck. Just take one minute at a time as you work your way through this nightmare. Believe in yourself & know that you can overcome his.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: highland beach, florida
Posts: 649
Originally Posted by ashleyr03 
I have 8 days sober now and im going insane.. i have been through hell and back this past week ending up in the suicide ward. im just so confused and lost.. any advice? Im checking into the betty Ford center hopefully will get in this week but that has also been another process. I have been in rehab now 3 times and cant seem to get it. This time im checking in for 90 days i just wanna be happy again. Ive lost everything im only 25 female and i know im a great person but the minute that bottle or those pills hit my lips i continue to use until i dont wake up. but i keep waking up. im so hurt ive had tradject things happen to me in my life and i also a father who is dying of the disease and i just want to numb myself but im so desperate to not take my fathers path. Im crying writing this just in tears i just wanna get it. im just crying out for help!
You have come to the right place to share your fears. We will never judge you, only try to give you some insight into the disease and how we got sober or are trying to get sober
Learn something from your father, don't let his death be for nothing. Many of us have had a great deal of tragedy in our lives , but it is not those experiences that make us "continue" to drink. Alcoholics are some of the most courages people you will ever know, because when they decide it is the right time for them to give up drinking they have the most amazing willpower to do it . Let's face it it is a journey we take alone , just like death, you can have all the support in the world but if your not ready and packed for that journey your not going to make it.
Pack everything you got when going into rehab this time--this may be your last chance at sobriety---make it work!
Stay Stong/ Stay Sober
TrixMixer
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