fatherof2ds

Just made it through my first night without a drink in God knows how long. When I get home from work tonight I am pouring everything left in house down the drain.

I have told one friend of my decision to stop drinking, but most friends drank right alongside me, so they may not like shot at their/my lifestyle.

I am a single parent dad of two tweens, any thoughts on addressing my problem with them?

Hevyn

Welcome to SR nwingr. This is a brave step you're taking, and it'll be SO worth it. Glad to have you with us.

I'm sure others will be along to discuss the situation with your tweens. I'm a bit out of practice. Unfortunately, I raised my son while drinking - wish I could go back and do it again. We sure do need a clear head to do it right.

Flyin2BFree

I was sober for most of the rasining of my kids. Then after 11 years, I relapsed.

for the last four years I have been fighting this thing. I have made promises to the kids. REAL PROMISES and broke them several times.

I say, keep your mouth shut, and let your actions "over time" show them what their new dad will be like.

no promises, the words don't really heal anyways, time heals

Todd

4WWWW

Welcome Nwingr To SR,

Glad your here - You have taken the first step admitting that you have a problem. You will eventually figure out how to deal with the kids.

Good Luck - will post later for sure.
____________________________________
BeingSober > Any Temptation

auden67

I would say, "Kids, I know it hasn't always been easy having a dad with a drinking problem. I'm sorry if I haven't always been there for you the way I should have been. But now I'm working on getting better for myself and for you. I just want you to know no matter what, I love you so much and am very proud of you." Then just let time and good actions lend credibility to your actions.

I based this conversation on what I imagine would great to hear from my mom. She struggled with a drinking problem as part of several issues during my teens into twenties. She hasn't said this, but I imagine it would help. Her actions do help as well.

Dee74

Hi and welcome Nwingr

I'm not a parent so I have no advice there - I'm sure others will.

I had to make a few changes in my life when I quit - one of those was friends...some of my mates were great drinking buddies but not so hot as sober friends...you may find you'll have a little upheaval there.

You'll find lots of support here tho - good to have you join us

D

fatherof2ds

Saw my, hopefully, soon to be ex-wife in the distance today. We live in a small town so that happens from time to time. This will be the first time I did not have a drink after seeing her. I know there has to be an emotion there, maybe I willl start figuring this out now.

amandy

But make sure you mean it. Being a child of 2 addicts there is nothing more heartbreaking than to have your parent tell you these things, believe them, have your hopes so high, and then just watch it all fall apart. If your going to say it, MEAN IT.

least

Say whatever is comfortable for you but back up your words with action. They'll notice.

soberclover

Just be patient with yourself as well as with your kids. The whole family is impacted in active drinking as well as in recovery. Stay strong....

fatherof2ds

Thanks everyone for the support. I have decided to let my actions do the talking for now. Once I have gotten down the path further, I will start talking with them about my issues.