to say thank you
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 9
to say thank you
I have wanted to introduce myself to the wonderful people on this board and say thank you to you all for a while, and since today is my birthday I thought what better time than today?
To give a (hopefully brief) backstory, I have been lurking on these boards for at least a year. I found it while doing what good codies do-looking for help for my (then) husband's addiction to pain pills. It was hard reading here at first, many times I had to shut the computer off because I was not ready to face the truth. I still wanted to believe he/we were special and could beat his addiction (or I guess that I could). But seeds were planted, and I kept returning to read and learn.
Slowly I began to see the truth. God put many people in my path who gave me messages (sometimes the same message over and over again lol) but the one thing that really woke me up was the realization that by staying I was not doing a GOOD thing for my 3 girls as I had always told myself by staying in that marriage. It was almost as if a voice spoke out loud to me-what if this was your child in this marriage? what would you tell her? That and finding out he had "relapsed" (doubt he ever really quit) was the end of the road for me and I ended our marriage and never looked back
Not saying it was easy. The past year has been difficult. My EAH tried every thing from begging, suicide threats, promises, blaming/shaming, guilt and fear (he tried to get full custody of our children-we had to go before the judge over that because he wouldn't back down from it and I'm still very angry over that) But it has also been full of growth and recovery for me. The relief once my ex left was palpable not just in me but also in my daughters. I have no doubt that I did the right thing for all of us
So that brings me to today. New year, new decade (I'm 40 today) new start to my life. I wanted to say thanks for all I have learned from you all, for your wisdom and kindness. You helped save me and my daughters
To give a (hopefully brief) backstory, I have been lurking on these boards for at least a year. I found it while doing what good codies do-looking for help for my (then) husband's addiction to pain pills. It was hard reading here at first, many times I had to shut the computer off because I was not ready to face the truth. I still wanted to believe he/we were special and could beat his addiction (or I guess that I could). But seeds were planted, and I kept returning to read and learn.
Slowly I began to see the truth. God put many people in my path who gave me messages (sometimes the same message over and over again lol) but the one thing that really woke me up was the realization that by staying I was not doing a GOOD thing for my 3 girls as I had always told myself by staying in that marriage. It was almost as if a voice spoke out loud to me-what if this was your child in this marriage? what would you tell her? That and finding out he had "relapsed" (doubt he ever really quit) was the end of the road for me and I ended our marriage and never looked back
Not saying it was easy. The past year has been difficult. My EAH tried every thing from begging, suicide threats, promises, blaming/shaming, guilt and fear (he tried to get full custody of our children-we had to go before the judge over that because he wouldn't back down from it and I'm still very angry over that) But it has also been full of growth and recovery for me. The relief once my ex left was palpable not just in me but also in my daughters. I have no doubt that I did the right thing for all of us
So that brings me to today. New year, new decade (I'm 40 today) new start to my life. I wanted to say thanks for all I have learned from you all, for your wisdom and kindness. You helped save me and my daughters
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Welcome VelmaMae, and Happy Birthday :day1
May this coming year bring you many blessings and new beginnings. And for your daughters too.
I am so glad you have joined us, please make yourself comfortable, help yourself to the coffee and cheesecake and know that we all are cheering you on.
Hugs
May this coming year bring you many blessings and new beginnings. And for your daughters too.
I am so glad you have joined us, please make yourself comfortable, help yourself to the coffee and cheesecake and know that we all are cheering you on.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 793
Happy 40th, VelmaMae! I made huge changes in my life around 39-40--it is a great time to renew, recharge & re-imagine a better life.
I am glad you shared your story & introduced yourself to us. Best wishes to you and your daughters for the new year ahead! Feel free to pick yourself a bouquet of flowers in the garden out back...
I am glad you shared your story & introduced yourself to us. Best wishes to you and your daughters for the new year ahead! Feel free to pick yourself a bouquet of flowers in the garden out back...
Member
Join Date: May 2005
Posts: 1,691
Happy Birthday and also, an official welcome to SR. I'm so glad that reading here has been helpful for you.
It's amazing what you have accomplished this last year. Yes.....it is really tough stuff but you are doing "right" by your girls. It took me a long time to finally have the courage to do the same. So....I really know how difficult it is. I know for sure that you did the right thing!!!!
Hope that you enjoy your special day!!!! I'm really glad for you that it is "this year" and not "last year"!
It's amazing what you have accomplished this last year. Yes.....it is really tough stuff but you are doing "right" by your girls. It took me a long time to finally have the courage to do the same. So....I really know how difficult it is. I know for sure that you did the right thing!!!!
Hope that you enjoy your special day!!!! I'm really glad for you that it is "this year" and not "last year"!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2007
Location: The Jungle
Posts: 5,435
Happy Birthday! And welcome......I'm glad you shared your story. Each of us share our ESH (experience, strength and hope) so that others can take what they may need in the time that works for them.
Oh that Ann.......she's always bringing cheesecake and it's soooooooo good. I can't resist. Enjoy!
gentle hugs
ke
Oh that Ann.......she's always bringing cheesecake and it's soooooooo good. I can't resist. Enjoy!
gentle hugs
ke
One Day At A Time
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: The Middle Distance
Posts: 197
Welcome and Happy 40th Birthday. I am new to SR myself but like you I benefited from reading the posts for a long time before I joined and began posting. I feel less alone and that is a huge positive in my life. I am so grateful for this compassionate, sometimes amusing venue. It is wonderful to be among people who are so honest and so ready to laugh at themselves and their mistakes. So often I see myself in their descriptions and I laugh at myself right along with them. Laughter helps to heal the rawness of the pain I guess.
Anyway, I read somewhere that we have two lives; the one we learn with and the life we live after that. I think I began living the second life around age 40...still have lots to learn though.
Anyway, I read somewhere that we have two lives; the one we learn with and the life we live after that. I think I began living the second life around age 40...still have lots to learn though.
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