cr995

The day before yesterday was not great and I looked forward to a better tomorrow. Went to bed with high hopes of doing my nails and giving the kitchen a good spring clean. Had the usual horrid type of nightmare about XAH and woke up feeling just awful. spent most of the day in bed fearful and anxious ...ruminating and visiting all the dark places. Finally in much pain accepted my codie traits especially that I have difficulty removing myself from hurtful situations and people.

Decided to cut all ties with psedo-BF which was long and drawn out by texts - he seems to think I was blackmailing him into giving more - whereas I was trying to say I found his expectations unacceptable. Finally got a message from him this morning saying God bless me complete with exclamation mark. Hurtful but the old me would have backtracked and taken whatever I could get - the new me just well - aches.

However sister called and is taking me shopping today -her treat. Thank you HP. Finally I was even fearful of seeing new waxing client who I though sounded iffy on the phone but he finally turned up and was lovely. again Thank you HP. I still feel fearful and so alone but am just going to keep trudling on. thanks for listening.