Deuce85

Hello all. Im 7 and a half months sober this Tuesday. I must say its been a crazy ride. Thanks to everyone on here for all of your help. For the first seven months of my sobriety I had trouble understanding why I was so negative all day everyday. My thinking was and is centered around negative thoughts. This scared me to death, and made me believe I could never get better. I felt like I was getting worse. I have been working with a life/recovery coach and they explained to me that I have been burying these negative thoughts in my head for so long they are automatic. They are very automatic and control my thoughts all day. I tried fighting them for the longest. What she taught me is I dont have to fight them. Just use my consciious thinking to respond to them. Just notice them and move on with a positive response. At first she said it is going to get worse, but as I keep pushing my life will improve tremendously. Has anyone had experience with something like this? It makes sense.

artsoul

Absolutely!!
I think it's hard to have an addiction without a lot of fear/negative thinking. I believe mine started even before that and just became "the way I think."

I found that "mindfulness" really helped a LOT when I first got sober. It's where you simply observe your thoughts without judgement, more like an information-gathering approach. I like what your life coach said. When you realize you don't have believe every thought that comes into your head, it's very freeing...... You can watch them and choose to let them go.

Midlifecrisis

Yep, can totally relate. I have has those tapes playing over in my head for as long as I can remember. I am really struggling to even find a way to change them. I have to though because as long as they are there I am going to want to use
Your post was helpful to me, thanks.

freshstart57

Ttal914, congratulations on your sober time. 7 1/2 months is a great accomplishment.

The mental exercise you are describing is what I call 'mindfulness', or 'being present'. It is in exactly this way that I have achieved and maintained my sobriety for 16 months now. The acceptance aspect of mindfulness is a very powerful tool, and by using it I have moved on from my negative self talk that I heard so often when I was drinking and in active addiction.

This tool has many names, like 'urge surfing' or meditation. This 'self awareness in the moment' is also a big component of AVRT. Science is showing that we can actually create new neural pathways and new ways of thinking by doing what you have described.

We can be so much more than our thoughts. We can become the watcher of the thoughts - no judgement or hankie twisting, just observation and recognition. Then we can let them go, and go back to becoming all we can be.

Itchy

soberlicious

.
This is true. The Buddhists have been doing it for a couple thousand years. That's kind of a long time, so there must be something to it. Personally speaking, it is a very different approach than I ever used before, and it works.

Deuce85

Yes it has been ok. I find when I been doing it my thoughts are more prevalent. It seems like my mind is just telling me to quit. It does not like me improving myself.

kizzy40

Could it be a bit like self hypnosis or NLP? (neuro linguistic programming)
As we are trying to kind of re-programme ourselves, and explain to our minds and our bodies why we are not giving them what they are asking for any longer...
It seems strange to 'have a word' with yourself but I have been doing this, (not out loud obv haha) but as I go to sleep.
I really believe that it has helped me to work with myself to beat this, instead of feeling this intense internal battle I feel stronger.
I gave up smoking 7 years ago a similar way.

soberlicious

This makes total sense to me. Often I 'set myself straight' about negative thoughts the same way I would to a friend, exposing the negative thoughts like an outsider would.

Obladi

I've struggled for decades with trying to fix my negative thinking, with trying to transform it into positive thinking instead. That doesn't "work" for me. It just makes me frustrated that I can't fix it.

Therapy didn't "work" either. All of this thinking about and talking about feelings only frustrated me more because now I was paying someone to explain myself to him and he didn't "get" it any more than I did. But what he DID do is mention this book, "Get Out of Your Mind & Into Your Life" in which the authors explain that you can't FIX negative thinking, but you can learn to observe it from a distance and therefore disregard it.

When I put down the drink, I didn't consciously remember or set out to use this approach, I just decided I was going to stop drinking, period. And in having done so, I find myself simply disregarding the negative thinking. Not even observing, just disregarding.

It's early days for me, so maybe my current approach isn't really relevant to your situation, but for what it's worth....

kizzy40

Ok, at the risk of sounding crazy I will attempt to explain how I used what are kind of positive affirmations, these are what are helping me at the moment.

Before I sleep I lay there in the dark and explain (in my head) what i'm doing and why, I acknowledge that its hard and ask myself to please be strong.

I keep a small pic of the drink in black and white in my mind but imagine it tastes very bad and smells of vomit.(disgusting,sorry)

Over the last few nights I have been 'enlarging' a colour pic of me sober, healthy and happy.
When I finish the 'chat' I thank myself for listening and for helping me.(crazy bit,sorry)

It could be fluke or coincidence, but it is working...
Instead of being angry, frustrated and shouting 'yes! you will do this'!
I quietly and politely request I consider the benefits, it's as though a few aspects of my personality suddenly went 'actually she has a point here'...

If you read this ramble...thanks, and well done!

Obladi

Kizzy, thanks so much for sharing that!

I think it's wonderful that you are focussing on nurturing yourself with positive energy. Not crazy at all, but wise.