Day 6 My Dad
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Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Wolverhampton
Posts: 77
Day 6 My Dad
Hi
I'm abit confused about what to do with my Dad.
He's 53 years old and in November was in hospital for a virus and the fact that he drinks way too much.
The doctors were telling me and his partner at one point that he was gonna die, luckily he pulled through but he still isn't well.
Seen him a few times over Xmas and he was drunk and heard off other people they'd seen him.
Now I get a message off his partner this morning saying he's ill again and he's refusing to go doctors.
My issue is I had to put my life on hold when he was in hospital, my daughter, my wife and if I'm honest seeing my Dad yellow and struggling to breath will always be edged in my mind!!
I don't know what to do, 3/4s of me is mad!!!! Pissed off that he's doing it too me and his Grand daughter again!! But part of me wants to be there for him but he sees me as his son
and what do I know.
I just see it unless he wants to give it up he's not going too and his partner is just as bad as he is.
Has anybody been in this situation? Has anybody got any advice?
I'm abit confused about what to do with my Dad.
He's 53 years old and in November was in hospital for a virus and the fact that he drinks way too much.
The doctors were telling me and his partner at one point that he was gonna die, luckily he pulled through but he still isn't well.
Seen him a few times over Xmas and he was drunk and heard off other people they'd seen him.
Now I get a message off his partner this morning saying he's ill again and he's refusing to go doctors.
My issue is I had to put my life on hold when he was in hospital, my daughter, my wife and if I'm honest seeing my Dad yellow and struggling to breath will always be edged in my mind!!
I don't know what to do, 3/4s of me is mad!!!! Pissed off that he's doing it too me and his Grand daughter again!! But part of me wants to be there for him but he sees me as his son
and what do I know.
I just see it unless he wants to give it up he's not going too and his partner is just as bad as he is.
Has anybody been in this situation? Has anybody got any advice?
I'm no angel!
Join Date: May 2005
Location: tampa, fl
Posts: 6,728
My mother is one of two alcoholics in my life. She has been drinking non-stop for 65 years, one drama after another, one ruined holiday after another.
I am no contact with her for the third time in my adult life, once for ten years,thus far for a year. I am done, I will not fold this this time, it was her or me, I chose me.
If a person does not want to quit and embrace recovery, there is nothing you can do. This is a
progressive disease, that, without recovery for life, has no cure.
IMO, the key is to let go, turn him over to the HP and go forward with your life. Have you read "Codependent No More" by Melodie Beattie? Been to any Alanon meetings? If not, I would
do both. Also, read the stickeys at the top of this page and the Acoa forum...finally cynical one's blogs. All of the above will help.
I am sorry that you are going through this, I know how painful it is.
I am no contact with her for the third time in my adult life, once for ten years,thus far for a year. I am done, I will not fold this this time, it was her or me, I chose me.
If a person does not want to quit and embrace recovery, there is nothing you can do. This is a
progressive disease, that, without recovery for life, has no cure.
IMO, the key is to let go, turn him over to the HP and go forward with your life. Have you read "Codependent No More" by Melodie Beattie? Been to any Alanon meetings? If not, I would
do both. Also, read the stickeys at the top of this page and the Acoa forum...finally cynical one's blogs. All of the above will help.
I am sorry that you are going through this, I know how painful it is.
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