ACT10Npack

So I got drunk on Friday like an idiot. Drank like a fish and stay at a hotel for a few days and now staying at a friends place to sober up. I don't know what I let my mind trick me buy I have to get my friend to take me to my car in the morning. Didn't want to drank drunk.

I just don't understand why I let my addicted mind wish. Only we're sober for 25 days or so. One of my personal worst. Down about 700$ from bars hotel NAND eating. Yelp I'm stupid and don't know if I will ever get out of this cycle.

c49

Like it or not, I would dive headfirst into a program... AA or rehab + AA. Something that can give you traction and support for when IMPULSIVITY compromises your will to be sober.

I was a chronic relapser too until I got REAL active in my sobriety.

Good Luck! I am praying you get sober soon

hamabi

You can stop and decide not to ever drink again, and do a bit of posting here if that works for you.

Or if not, perhaps try inconveniencing yourself with some recovery activity that seems to work well for other alcoholics but you don't like very much to do.

Give weight and importance to results in other words, if these repeat results of doing what you think you need to do to stay sober are unsatisfactory to you.

Threshold

I did a double take at the part about your mind tricking you cause you've been here awhile and I read lots of your posts and I know that YOU know exactly where drinking will take you. So "trick"?

Maybe your brain is vastly different from mine, but I know that everytime I slipped or relapsed I knew very well what was going to happen. At least after I realized I was an alcoholic and that moderation wasn't ever a valid option. Once I was aware of that, any "slip" was a choice not a trick.

I DO understand how challenging quitting and staying quit is. The only sleight of hand I ever find myself trying to talk myself into isn't that it's going to be different this time if I drink, but that the hell of drinking is better than whatever I am going through now.

But I think it's sinking in that drinking just heaps more hell onto my already stinky situation, it doesn't fix or protect me from it.

pipparina

Our minds will try to tell us that a drink won't do any harm, but that is hpwhen you have to think it through before you pick up that drink. If you don't have any strenghth to take that pause to think of the consequences, you will keep getting drunk.

What resources are you using to stay sober? Any recovery group like AA? You don't have to continue through this madness, but you need to find help

Dee74

I did the same thing over and over too.
It never got better, act10N.

It did get worse tho.

The sooner you jump off the crazy train of being between binges, the better you'll be man.

D

Xune

You were tricked or did you make the choice to have a first trick?

Try and figure out why you allowed the first drink to pass by your lips.

Thepatman

My little point is that you appear to be performing extensive self beating over your slip. Let that aside and try to realize your self worth and that you can be more then this addiction. To address this problem as if it was your worst enemy equipped with a gun will give you resolve and will wake your survival instincts.

Because at the base make no mistake about it your life depends on it, physically and mentally. Best of luck.

Sapling

Repetitive ass whippings....I guess that's what it took me to commit to my recovery. You've been here since 2009.....maybe it's time for something different.

NewBeginning010

Sorry to hear action... It's tough being tough in that cycle. Maybe it's time to put the effort that your putting into your drinking into your recovery. I have never went out drinking after hitting an AA meeting or going to a meditation class.... During the holidays I started going back to some AA meetings as I felt my "No" muscles getting a little weak with all of the Christmas parties around me. It has helped me tremendously along with reading & working hard on my recovery. The thought of anything close to "Maybe I can have one" is a death sentance for me & I can never forget that. Get back at it Action ' go for it like never before & you can do this. Your worth it & that living hell of a life doesn't have to be yours, you have a choice to be sober but you need to put all you have into it before it works sometimes. It might be time to try a 90 in 90 program & get a sponsor to get you back on track. Come on man... We are still with you on this, we're not giving up on you & you better not either. Give this everything you got before you lose everything Take Care ~ Love NB

mfanch

I did the very same thing. Over and over for two decades. The mental drunk always comes before the physical act of drinking for me. Until I had tools/program to NOT drink, I was defenseless.

Get thee a program! Mine is AA and it saved me.

ACT10Npack

Feeling a little bit better now but don't think I will be at 100% for about a week. Going to staying off the sauce and I hope for good. I'm still here and breathing so it not all bad.

Sapling

God....I don't miss that. Nothing changes....Nothing changes. Your name says the one thing you are missing....Action.

hypochondriac

I always miss you round here before you post about a relapse Action... are you doing anything inbetween times to help your recovery? Maybe posting on here morning and night would help, or going to AA, or something? x

stepping

Ditto!

Act - this is becoming a reaccuring occasion with you. I have been there. You have got to do something different this time. Work the heck outta a program~!!!! If you really want it,you will DO IT!

Xune

You hope it's for good?

Have you accepted that alcohol is quite simply, no longer an option in your life?

What are you going to do different this time?

Valll

When I first joined (the first time before this second one ahem :>) I remember you Action - I saw how you helped others too and I hope that you can help yourself now once and for all...

You sound so strong and full of life Action and I bet if you put all your energy into getting better that you will...

Val

Mcribb

Glad you are back. Your story reminds me alot of myself. I started doing exactly what another person told me in the walls of an AA house. It was either that or death and I owed it to myself, my family, and my future to get a sponsor and work the steps of AA.

Pondlady

Action,
These relapses are costing you quite a bit....and not just the money spent on booze and hotels. Maybe the cost of a good rehab program is worth it? Please don't give up on yourself.

FreeFall

Action, glad you're feeling a little better and good to see you posting again. It's a new year-a chance to get it right this time. We all know how hard it is to squelch that stupid voice that tells you how much fun it will be to drink again. Most of us have learned over and over again that it's really not fun in the big picture. Sooner or later you'll have to stop, either due to health issues or worse.
Might as well do it now, when you have some control over it. We worry about never having fun anymore, but being in the hospital from complications or in jail because of drinking related stupidity is about the least fun you can have. Challenge yourself-you are strong enough to do this!