Alcoholic head games
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2011
Location: Portland, OR
Posts: 1,635
Alcoholic head games
Okay, I know I can't be alone in here in my over examination of people, places, and things.
I have found myself imagining people are mad at me and then being mad at them because they are mad at me. But they aren't. Does that make sense? The circumstances are not that interesting to go into, but I have done this sort of thing before.
It is like I enjoy torturing myself by picking everything apart and analyzing it. And then coming up with theories. All without communicating to the person concerned.
Damn, it is noisy up in my head.
I have found myself imagining people are mad at me and then being mad at them because they are mad at me. But they aren't. Does that make sense? The circumstances are not that interesting to go into, but I have done this sort of thing before.
It is like I enjoy torturing myself by picking everything apart and analyzing it. And then coming up with theories. All without communicating to the person concerned.
Damn, it is noisy up in my head.
Sobriety is Traditional
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Orcas Island, Washington
Posts: 9,067
You might find this helpful. A former boss kept it on the wall at work:
The following is an overview of the meaning of each of The Four Agreements, based on the writings of don Miguel Ruiz.
Be Impeccable with Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
Don't Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.
Don't Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.
The following is an overview of the meaning of each of The Four Agreements, based on the writings of don Miguel Ruiz.
Be Impeccable with Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
Don't Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.
Don't Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2005
Location: Bklyn. NY
Posts: 1,859
Originally Posted by Coldfusion 
You might find this helpful. A former boss kept it on the wall at work:
The following is an overview of the meaning of each of The Four Agreements, based on the writings of don Miguel Ruiz.
Be Impeccable with Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
Don't Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.
Don't Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.
The following is an overview of the meaning of each of The Four Agreements, based on the writings of don Miguel Ruiz.
Be Impeccable with Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
Don't Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.
Don't Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.
I just found my 4 agreements book and was about to reread it. It's a great way to live.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 275
Originally Posted by Elisabeth888
Okay, I know I can't be alone in here in my over examination of people, places, and things.
I have found myself imagining people are mad at me and then being mad at them because they are mad at me. But they aren't. Does that make sense? The circumstances are not that interesting to go into, but I have done this sort of thing before.
It is like I enjoy torturing myself by picking everything apart and analyzing it. And then coming up with theories. All without communicating to the person concerned.
Damn, it is noisy up in my head.
I have found myself imagining people are mad at me and then being mad at them because they are mad at me. But they aren't. Does that make sense? The circumstances are not that interesting to go into, but I have done this sort of thing before.
It is like I enjoy torturing myself by picking everything apart and analyzing it. And then coming up with theories. All without communicating to the person concerned.
Damn, it is noisy up in my head.
I lost all reason and rationality..
Felt all responses to me were accusatory, argumentative or worded to provoke some kind of reaction from me...
Of course they weren't, but I would overanalyse every statement, 'what did you mean by that'? was a regular phrase and as my paranoia grew my temper shortened.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
Originally Posted by Coldfusion
You might find this helpful. A former boss kept it on the wall at work:
The following is an overview of the meaning of each of The Four Agreements, based on the writings of don Miguel Ruiz.
Be Impeccable with Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
Don't Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.
Don't Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.
The following is an overview of the meaning of each of The Four Agreements, based on the writings of don Miguel Ruiz.
Be Impeccable with Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.
Don't Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.
Don't Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness, and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.
Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse, and regret.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 603
I live in a granny unit affixed to the front of the house where a couple lives. They bad mouth people. Sometimes I know for sure it's me, sometimes I'm left to wonder. They certainly use the "f" word a lot. Then I find myself eavesdropping to see if it's about me. But really I'm quite respectful, so I shouldn't be so concerned about what they think about me.
A friend of mine said, "if I worried about what other people thought about me, I'd have a lot to worry about."
It's a side topic, but how many times can you use the "f" word in one sentence? Apparently several.
Yes, if you stub your toe, then of course you are going to curse, but not every single sentence.
The stand up comic Margaret Cho said, "I knew this Japanese girl and she shaved off her eyebrows and painted them in higher up so that it looked like she was permanently surprised. The thing is that when she actually was surprised, she had no farther to go."
A friend of mine said, "if I worried about what other people thought about me, I'd have a lot to worry about."
It's a side topic, but how many times can you use the "f" word in one sentence? Apparently several.
Yes, if you stub your toe, then of course you are going to curse, but not every single sentence.
The stand up comic Margaret Cho said, "I knew this Japanese girl and she shaved off her eyebrows and painted them in higher up so that it looked like she was permanently surprised. The thing is that when she actually was surprised, she had no farther to go."
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 603
Originally Posted by Zee
I always over-analize stuff, its noisy in my head too
A stand up comic said, "I don't drink to have a good time. I drink to stop the voices in my head."
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Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: South
Posts: 226
I have in my case found a sad truth. I am constantly thinking the way you do, and worse I realized it was all my ego talking. How or why? Because I assume the whole world revolves around me, and that people have nothing better to do than focus their anger or ill feelings on me. The truth is, everybody has their own crazy, and I am just another data point in their over all equation. Singularly - I am not big enough or important enough to consume their thoughts, only my own. This thinking I believe is what made me an alcoholic. With god as my witness (and guide incidentally), I am convinced that if I can just straighten out my thought process, I could drink normally. Regrettably, I have zero belief that I will ever reach the mental promise land, and therefore will never be able to drink again.
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Posts: 12
Originally Posted by renaldo
A stand up comic said, "I don't drink to have a good time. I drink to stop the voices in my head."
My head has always been my worst enemy, drunk and sober. Generally I couldn't care less what people think about me, but for some reason I am bothered by what I think people think about me. Make sense? Didn't think so :P
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,564
Hi Elisabeth. Oh, to have been 'immune to the opinions and actions of others' - many years ago. I was frozen and and fearful most of my life. Probably why alcohol seemed like an answer.
Helpful and valuable responses - as usual.
Helpful and valuable responses - as usual.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Milwaukee, WI
Posts: 104
You are not alone. I have these same thoughts but while I am lying down trying to sleep..sometimes they feel real.
My first step was not worrying about what others think. Let go of negative thoughts.
Gigi
My first step was not worrying about what others think. Let go of negative thoughts.
Gigi
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