Notices

"Firsts" without drinking

Old 01-04-2013, 11:24 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: east coast
Posts: 1,711
"Firsts" without drinking

I put on the jazz music channel before and realized it is the first time I have done so while being sober. I used to enjoy it while drinking my wine. It is soothing and makes me feel like I am surrounded by people at a classy party lol This time, I get to enjoy it more because I won't drink to black out, eventually turn it off and get into some kind of trouble--drunk dialing, drunk emailing, pondering why I have to life in this miserable world. It's so interesting how I am coming to see things in a new way without a drink. I sit here and think of how I miss the feeling alcohol gave to me in the first 30 minutes of drinking it. Now that I have clarity I see that those 30 minutes were never really worth it. The consequences I now suffer from my last relapse are concrete but not life threatening. I have been given another chance and for that I am grateful. Today, I feel homesick for a future that hasn't revealed itself to me in any way as of yet. Falling in love, creating a cozy home, perhaps starting a family, making great memories. When I was drinking I led myself to believe I didn't WANT any of these things but inside I knew I COULDN'T have them if I continue on my isolated path. In these 24 hours, I am hopeful for my life because I am sober. I look forward to experiencing many more "firsts". This is a simple, quiet day but a good one
quitforme79 is offline  
Old 01-04-2013, 11:29 AM
  # 2 (permalink)  
instant
 
instant's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2011
Location: Australia
Posts: 5,711
I agree I love to dream and fantasize but I have to live in the real world today and make the most of it


Good luck, have a great day
instant is offline  
Old 01-04-2013, 12:11 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Nice post Quit...Have a great day!
Sapling is offline  
Old 01-04-2013, 12:19 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
Delilah1's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,021
Simple and quiet sounds nice. Mine is filled with three loud and crazy kiddos, but I wouldn't trade it (well, maybe for an hour or so! )

Enjoy your day Quit!!!!
Delilah1 is offline  
Old 01-04-2013, 12:31 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
stepping on my way...
 
stepping's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,079
Awesome post Quit!

I relate!

Thanks!
stepping is offline  
Old 01-04-2013, 03:02 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Member
 
hypochondriac's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2011
Location: UK
Posts: 5,678
Originally Posted by quitforme79 View Post
I sit here and think of how I miss the feeling alcohol gave to me in the first 30 minutes of drinking it. Now that I have clarity I see that those 30 minutes were never really worth it. The consequences I now suffer from my last relapse are concrete but not life threatening. I have been given another chance and for that I am grateful. Today, I feel homesick for a future that hasn't revealed itself to me in any way as of yet. Falling in love, creating a cozy home, perhaps starting a family, making great memories. When I was drinking I led myself to believe I didn't WANT any of these things but inside I knew I COULDN'T have them if I continue on my isolated path. In these 24 hours, I am hopeful for my life because I am sober. I look forward to experiencing many more "firsts". This is a simple, quiet day but a good one
Thank you Quit. I needed to read that today... It's what I would have written if I had stopped feeling sorry for myself recently
hypochondriac is offline  
Old 01-04-2013, 03:17 PM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: NY
Posts: 227
Thanks for this post. It reminds me of something i said in therapy that my therapist thought was important enough to write down on one of his cards for me to carry around.

It is "I don't think I can improve myself the way I want to if I am drinking".

It was hard to say that, and even harder to actually realize that its true with every part of my being, but I think it is true.
misterritter is offline  
Old 01-04-2013, 03:27 PM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
Change4good's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 1,226
I love this part:

Today, I feel homesick for a future that hasn't revealed itself to me in any way as of yet.

I really relate to this! I have to be careful of not overthinking what "could have been" had I been in better shape the last ten years. Today is a new day.
Change4good is offline  
Old 01-04-2013, 03:48 PM
  # 9 (permalink)  
Member
 
David10's Avatar
 
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 76
the first 30 minutes thing is very true all goes down hill after that.
David10 is offline  
Old 01-04-2013, 06:09 PM
  # 10 (permalink)  
stepping on my way...
 
stepping's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 1,079
Originally Posted by misterritter View Post
Thanks for this post. It reminds me of something i said in therapy that my therapist thought was important enough to write down on one of his cards for me to carry around.

It is "I don't think I can improve myself the way I want to if I am drinking".

It was hard to say that, and even harder to actually realize that its true with every part of my being, but I think it is true.
Take I THINK out of your last sentence! I said that same thing you said to your therapist to God and family many times when drinking. I was just not listening (shutting up) & didn't love myself enough to hear/realize I didn't have to live that way anymore til recently.

Thanks for this post, misterritter
I know I can never be where I am spiritually, physically, emotionally and mentally at this point in my life with alcohol in the picture. I am liking me nowadays. I am blessed to have finally realized that and the fact that I have to work my a&& off for sobriety. Making sobriety my number one priority is the ONLY way I will stay sober. I thank God daily for AA, for me personally.

stepping is offline  
Old 01-04-2013, 06:41 PM
  # 11 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: fort wayne, IN.
Posts: 1,085
Serene post
escapist is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 05:54 PM.