tammygirl

I am back. I had several months sober this past spring and summer and I lost weight, felt great and in October, I thought I could just have one. One turned into 24-30 daily again ;( I have been hiding it and sneaking it and lying to myself and staying in so I can drink. I don't have the kids this weekend and this would be perfect for me to start on Friday and not stop until Monday....I need to make a change again. I cannot moderate and I know this, but my brain tells me different. So, here I am, back again and trying to get back to where I was this past summer. Any advice or help you can provide on how to make it the last time, would be appreciated. I read a post from someone, and I'm sorry, I can't recall who it was, told of her brother that has been sober for two years and at the end it said "There is hope" I needed that today.

Zube

Hey Tammy -

Welcome back. I'm not going to suggest anything that you don't already know. I think you nailed it when you wrote " I cannot moderate and I know this"

Don't hand your head too low...you made the right decision to come back.

Best Wishes,
Zube

Fandy

Remember how good you felt sober, you deserve to have this again.
Welcome back!

pipparina

Tammy,
Welcome back. You probably know this already, but I will say it again. You're not alone. I think many of us have tried to have just one or two, and it turned into a disaster.

Just for today, don't drink. Things will fall back into place in your life but don't pick up a drink. I'm a firm believer of taking it a minute/hour/day at a time in the beginning so you're not overwhelmed.

Newatthis34

I too cannot moderate, because ultimately I drink to get drunk. I think that has finally began to sink in with me.

wpainterw

I just viewed a TV presentation by a Harvard Medical School professor who stated that "Your brain is not your mind" and gave some suggestions as to how to use your mind to control your brain, use your true "self" to control and change the physical thing which is your brain. Very interesting. The brain appears to be akin to an enormously intricate biochemical computer which is capable of being reprogrammed. This is what recovery plans like AVRT (Rational Recovery) purport to do and what may also happen with some aspects of AA. To me, the important thing is not so much what particular program (like AA) a person has but that there is a program (to reprogram the brain) and that the program involves the help and concern of other recovering alcoholics. If the "God Stuff" annoys you then it is possible to get well without that. I know a number of folks with impressive sobriety (more than 20 years) who have done this. The crucial thing is to try to reprogram the brain so it no longer tries to trick the mind into authorizing a drink. This takes time because the chemical and physiological changes which alcohol has made in the body need time to be reversed. In other words, the body must be reprogrammed.

W.

hamabi

Some say the odd certainty that a drink couldn't possibly hurt is the crux of the problem with alcoholism, and one that requires a sufficient solution for sobriety not to be interrupted on occasions.

When you were sober you were sure it would last and things would be fine and no one could tell you otherwise, because you know yourself and what you are likely to do.

At this point you might do well to recognize that's not neccessarily so. You have an experience you can either take a lesson from or ignore and simply decide very, very firmly that you will not drink and this will last this time because you know yourself well and have made another decision.

yestofreedom

Think about being fresh in the morning!
A nice trip to a coffee shop!
The sun might even be shining!
Remember what it was like to wake up fresh and exhilarated!
you are not alone!
One day at a time!
do not be discouraged, but determined!

heath480

Good to see you back tammygirl.

It helped me to know I only had to stay away from one drink,the first one.

You did it before,you can do it again.

Wishing you well.

gorc

Me to a t. I drink to get drunk, not every day thankfully i did not fall that far but when i did drink it was to get drunk.

Don't be deluded by moderation the effort t moderate is too hard i think simpler to just say no. Easy to say hard to do but as we will know.

Good luck on your journey aloft of us are taking it together and knowing this gives me hope and i hope yo

Pondlady

Welcome, you are among folks who understand. I agree with Zube, don't hold your head too low. Chin up , as you prepare for change

BoozeFree

Welcome back! As far as any advice goes this time around has really stuck for me since making some big changes with people, places, things ect. And really being 100% honest with myself being an alcoholic.

tammygirl

THANK YOU! I am struggling and I know this will be hard. I HATE that I have this addiction.....how can I give up cheese and potato chips, but not beer?

Zebra1275

So what's your plan to stay sober this time?

Missy7

You say that you don't have the kids this weekend so that's a good reason to drink for three days. Really? Why? Does it make you sad or lonely not to have the kids?

Use the time to go to a meeting each day this weekend. BTW, I'm not a big AA proponent, but that doesn't matter. You can walk in to an open meeting, sit down, and just listen. Maybe you can go to coffee with someone after.

Also, you could go try on clothes this weekend. That will motivate you to diet. Or, as I struggle staying sober, you could clean the house...

How old are the kids? Do something to surprise them. Work on yourself. You know how to do this.

FlyerNation

I've been going through the same. Relatively long bouts of sobriety and then a couple here and there and now Back To Zero. As mentioned, it really is getting your mindset back to when you never thought relapse was desireable or even possible.

Good luck.

mittens2020

Tammy - I know how if feels to want to hang your head in shame. I slipped and proceeded to stop checking SR and to use the slip as justificaiton to drink for one more day. The best feeling was when I came back to SR and admitted my slip and had support - not condemnation. Stay strong!

2granddaughters

Alcoholics Anonymous works for this alcoholic.
You might be different, Tammy, but it doesn't appear so.

All the best.

Bob R

hamabi

Great question.

FamilyMan2153

Try not to beat yourself up. Look at it this way, many people quit without knowing if they really are alcoholics. Maybe they are not really committed, who knows. You now have the knowledge that you cannot moderate. It is all or nothing. That moderation is the great obsession of all us alcoholics. Don't obsess about it anymore!! Glad you came back. Smart move. Good luck.