A newby says "Hello" One month sober.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Birmingham, UK
Posts: 2
A newby says "Hello" One month sober.
Hi everyone. 
I found this site a few days ago, and have been lurking like a lurky thing since.
I can't sleep right now, so I thought a good use of time would be to bite the bullet and finally sign up, rather than smoking another ten cigarettes and stressing out about how tired I am!
I won't go into the whole sorry story of my love affair with alcohol right now - it would take pages, and, to be honest, I'm not sure about a hell of a lot of it myself! I just thought I'd relate my latest circumstances.
I'm 30 years old, and have had problems with alcohol since I was 17 or so. A few years ago, I finally admitted I had a problem and spent about 5 months in rehab. I was sober for two years, but got complacent. I was spending all my time working and not spending any time with other alcoholics. Eventually, I convinced myself I was "fine now" (
), and had a glass of wine one evening when I was tired.
Nearly three wasted, drunken years later and I had lost everything, given up all hope of quitting, and had pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I was going to die pretty soon. This was where I was just over a month ago.
For the last two of those years, I was drinking about 15-20 cans of lager a day. Every day. Without fail. It was pretty much impossible to be awake for more than two hours without having a drink.
I'd put on so much weight that I could no longer reach my feet to change my socks. So I just left them on for weeks and weeks. These disgusting things make sense when you're in the depths of addiction. It's scary. But those filthy, shameful socks were to prove my absolute saviour.
I'd developed quite severe swelling in my legs and feet. Over time, my legs swelled around the sock. It was uncomfortable, but nothing that a few drinks couldn't blot out, like everything else.
It was, though, agony to walk more than a few feet. On the 1st of December, I'd just about made it the few steps to the toilet in the morning. When I looked down, there was a smear of blood on the floor. I thought a blood blister had burst or something and just carried on. A couple of steps back towards my "drinking chair", though, and blood started pouring from my foot. I'd never seen anything like it - it nearly scared me sober! By the time it had formed a pool half a meter square that wouldn't have looked out of place in a Quentin Tarantino movie, it was clear that I was going to have to go to hospital, so I called for an ambulance.
Oh, God. The shame of being in that Emergency Room as they cut my trousers and socks off, and the sheer stench that errupted will stay with me for the rest of my life. There was a gaping wound right around my ankle, apparently nearly an inch deep, where the sock had cut into my leg. The first words of the vascular expert called down to take a look were, "oh, wow". It had, apparently, begun to develop gangrene, hence the terrible smell. Fortunately, my legs had swollen so much that it had only cut into a vein, and not the artery.
I was patched up, and they tried to figure out what to do with me. It looked, briefly, like they were going to send me home (it was a Saturday), and ask me to come back as an outpatient to see their liver experts on the Monday. Despite everything, I tried as hard as I could for this to happen, just so I could get back to my beer at home. It's incredible how strong the addiction is, and how it tries to make you make the most ridiculous decisions.
Fortunately, I had put on so much weight around my middle that they thought I may have developed ascites, so they eventually put me on their liver ward.
Long story short, I spent about three weeks in hospital. The detoxing was, oddly, the easiest I've ever had it. I spent all that time on various intustrial-strength antibiotic IVs for my foot. It truly is a wonder I didn't lose it. It was bloody close.
The blood tests, ultrasounds, etc. revealed liver damage, but I'm assured that it's salvageable as long as I don't pick up another drink. Fortunately, I hadn't developed ascites - it was just sheer fat from all the empty calories I'd drunk.
I left hospital just before Christmas, and am now living back with my parents while I recover. A nurse comes every 3/4 days to change the dressing on my foot (which is still not quite healed a month later) and apply compression bandages to my legs. She came this morning, and is thankfully happy with how things are looking. My good leg has reduced dramatically in size, and I'm hoping my bad one will too as soon as the foot's healed enough to allow the proper bandages to be put on.
I'm still having massive trouble with sleeping at nights, itching all over, occasional liver pain, and random pains that come and go, but I've got a very supportive GP, and my parents are an absolute godsend. They're just so relieved I've finally stopped drinking.
Mum and dad have been going to the Al-Anon family support group for a few years, and they know loads of people in AA as well. I've already met up with a couple of them, who are going to accompany me to some meetings when I'm finally able to get dressed properly and leave the house (legs willing!)
Anyway, I hope to hang around here for a good, long while - it seems nice (much better than drinking on my own!)
I just thought I'd introduce myself and emphasise to anyone currently going though the hell of constant daily drinking that it's rarely too late to get help, no matter how fearful you are of how ill you've made yourself. But, once it's too late, it will be too late. I'd given up and written my liver off as lost, but most of my medical problems now are coming from self-neglect while I was drinking rather than the drink itself. If I hadn't been so disgusting and left that sock on for so long, I may well not have got help until it was too late. Don't do that. It's stupid. Even my worst day right now is better than my best day drinking, even if my alcohol demons sometimes try to convince me otherwise.
Anyway, I've written far too much and bored the pants off everyone, so I'll stop now! All the best to everyone, and I look forward to getting to know you in sobriety and recovery.
Simon B
I found this site a few days ago, and have been lurking like a lurky thing since.
I can't sleep right now, so I thought a good use of time would be to bite the bullet and finally sign up, rather than smoking another ten cigarettes and stressing out about how tired I am!
I won't go into the whole sorry story of my love affair with alcohol right now - it would take pages, and, to be honest, I'm not sure about a hell of a lot of it myself! I just thought I'd relate my latest circumstances.
I'm 30 years old, and have had problems with alcohol since I was 17 or so. A few years ago, I finally admitted I had a problem and spent about 5 months in rehab. I was sober for two years, but got complacent. I was spending all my time working and not spending any time with other alcoholics. Eventually, I convinced myself I was "fine now" (
), and had a glass of wine one evening when I was tired.Nearly three wasted, drunken years later and I had lost everything, given up all hope of quitting, and had pretty much resigned myself to the fact that I was going to die pretty soon. This was where I was just over a month ago.
For the last two of those years, I was drinking about 15-20 cans of lager a day. Every day. Without fail. It was pretty much impossible to be awake for more than two hours without having a drink.
I'd put on so much weight that I could no longer reach my feet to change my socks. So I just left them on for weeks and weeks. These disgusting things make sense when you're in the depths of addiction. It's scary. But those filthy, shameful socks were to prove my absolute saviour.
I'd developed quite severe swelling in my legs and feet. Over time, my legs swelled around the sock. It was uncomfortable, but nothing that a few drinks couldn't blot out, like everything else.
It was, though, agony to walk more than a few feet. On the 1st of December, I'd just about made it the few steps to the toilet in the morning. When I looked down, there was a smear of blood on the floor. I thought a blood blister had burst or something and just carried on. A couple of steps back towards my "drinking chair", though, and blood started pouring from my foot. I'd never seen anything like it - it nearly scared me sober! By the time it had formed a pool half a meter square that wouldn't have looked out of place in a Quentin Tarantino movie, it was clear that I was going to have to go to hospital, so I called for an ambulance.
Oh, God. The shame of being in that Emergency Room as they cut my trousers and socks off, and the sheer stench that errupted will stay with me for the rest of my life. There was a gaping wound right around my ankle, apparently nearly an inch deep, where the sock had cut into my leg. The first words of the vascular expert called down to take a look were, "oh, wow". It had, apparently, begun to develop gangrene, hence the terrible smell. Fortunately, my legs had swollen so much that it had only cut into a vein, and not the artery.
I was patched up, and they tried to figure out what to do with me. It looked, briefly, like they were going to send me home (it was a Saturday), and ask me to come back as an outpatient to see their liver experts on the Monday. Despite everything, I tried as hard as I could for this to happen, just so I could get back to my beer at home. It's incredible how strong the addiction is, and how it tries to make you make the most ridiculous decisions.
Fortunately, I had put on so much weight around my middle that they thought I may have developed ascites, so they eventually put me on their liver ward.
Long story short, I spent about three weeks in hospital. The detoxing was, oddly, the easiest I've ever had it. I spent all that time on various intustrial-strength antibiotic IVs for my foot. It truly is a wonder I didn't lose it. It was bloody close.
The blood tests, ultrasounds, etc. revealed liver damage, but I'm assured that it's salvageable as long as I don't pick up another drink. Fortunately, I hadn't developed ascites - it was just sheer fat from all the empty calories I'd drunk.
I left hospital just before Christmas, and am now living back with my parents while I recover. A nurse comes every 3/4 days to change the dressing on my foot (which is still not quite healed a month later) and apply compression bandages to my legs. She came this morning, and is thankfully happy with how things are looking. My good leg has reduced dramatically in size, and I'm hoping my bad one will too as soon as the foot's healed enough to allow the proper bandages to be put on.
I'm still having massive trouble with sleeping at nights, itching all over, occasional liver pain, and random pains that come and go, but I've got a very supportive GP, and my parents are an absolute godsend. They're just so relieved I've finally stopped drinking.
Mum and dad have been going to the Al-Anon family support group for a few years, and they know loads of people in AA as well. I've already met up with a couple of them, who are going to accompany me to some meetings when I'm finally able to get dressed properly and leave the house (legs willing!)
Anyway, I hope to hang around here for a good, long while - it seems nice (much better than drinking on my own!)
I just thought I'd introduce myself and emphasise to anyone currently going though the hell of constant daily drinking that it's rarely too late to get help, no matter how fearful you are of how ill you've made yourself. But, once it's too late, it will be too late. I'd given up and written my liver off as lost, but most of my medical problems now are coming from self-neglect while I was drinking rather than the drink itself. If I hadn't been so disgusting and left that sock on for so long, I may well not have got help until it was too late. Don't do that. It's stupid. Even my worst day right now is better than my best day drinking, even if my alcohol demons sometimes try to convince me otherwise.
Anyway, I've written far too much and bored the pants off everyone, so I'll stop now! All the best to everyone, and I look forward to getting to know you in sobriety and recovery.
Simon B
Last edited by SEB230882; 01-03-2013 at 09:41 PM. Reason: Typo
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,040
Welcome Simon!!
I am glad you have been sober for a month, and that your body is starting to heal. I am also glad you have found SR, it is a wonderful site, and will definitely help you pass the time while you are recovering!!
I am glad you have been sober for a month, and that your body is starting to heal. I am also glad you have found SR, it is a wonderful site, and will definitely help you pass the time while you are recovering!!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
Thanks for sharing your story SEB. I drank the same amount as you daily for a couple years and gained about 60-70 pounds. I had already drank my career away so I was able to drink full time. I was a virtual shut-in, only going outside to buy beer. I eventually ran thru my savings and credit cards, which forced me back to my parents. From there I went to rehab and have lost 25 pounds in six months. Crazy how the booze just saps our self-respect and self-image. Welcome to the site!
AA member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: United Kingdom.
Posts: 3,007
Welcome simon.Congratulations on your sober time.
I look forward to seeing you in the meetings.My home group meetings are in Brum,you will get loads of support from the men in the meetings when you are well enough to join us.
I look forward to seeing you in the meetings.My home group meetings are in Brum,you will get loads of support from the men in the meetings when you are well enough to join us.
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