JungleGirl

Hey guys, hope you all had a fabulous new year.

I can honestly say I do not have a problem at all going to pubs and clubs, it doesn't make me feel like I want to drink, it's not always enjoyable and it generall smells pretty bad (something I never really noticed before ) but I still like the atmosphere of sitting at a pub with my friends chatting away.

I'm 25 and that is pretty much what most of my friends do to catch up.. People seem to think it's weird though, going to a pub and not drinking.. my friend said to me the other day "oh you should have told me you weren't drinking I would have suggested catching up for a cup of tea or something" which of course is nice of her but I don't want to just be the friend that gets called for tea and coffee catch ups! My boyfriend thinks it's weird I go to the pub still too.. Anyway just wondering about your thoughts..

Zube

Hi Junglegirl-

Thoughts?

If you keep walking into a barber shop eventually you're probably going to get a haircut.

That being said, if you are truly comfortable in your own sobriety, and comfortable with your motivation of why you are going to the pub/club, you might be o.k.

I don't know, I've known of a LOT of relapses that began with an innocent trip to the pub.

Zube

auden67

I don't intentionally avoid them but I don't seek them out. Be very honest with yourself regarding underlying motivations. I steered clear earlier on. Now, it bothers me less but really don't prefer unless we're having dinner.

JungleGirl

I feel completely comfortable in my sobriety at this point and truly believe my underlying motivation is just that I don't want to be missed off the list just because I don't drink. Saying that though I do much prefer to do other things, I just don't want to feel like an outsider I guess...

soberlicious

Pubs and clubs don't bother me. I also don't subscribe to the barber shop theory, but that's just me. I have either have fun at places or I don't. If I have fun there, I go. If I don't, I don't. It's that simple.

Being around a bunch of drunks for an extended period doesn't make me want to drink, but it does bore me completely stiff. I find "drinking as an activity" uninteresting, so parking my happy ass on a barstool for a long time is just dumb. Darts, pool, music, dancing, eating, cards, board games? I'm in. Sometimes those things happen in bars, sometimes other places. For me, going to a bar is not going to make me drink. If I want to get drunk I only have to walk to the 7-11 two blocks away.
My outlook is not always popular or understood, but you asked and I answered. Best to you.

escapist

I have stayed away from drinking places. I have'nt put in 3 months sober yet.
There have been times when I went to bars in my past periods of sobriety and I was fine with it.
I feel like I need more time being sober before I can be around people drinking.

doggonecarl

Why don't you be the friend that calls them. And it doesn't have to be for tea and coffee. There are activities that friends can do that don't involve drinking.

And if you friends don't find that interesting, you might start looking for new friends. Friendships need to have more in common that just drinking.

MIRecovery

Where I see the problem is this. A significant number of people have problems in drinking situations. Many new to sobriety think they can handle it and turn out to be wrong but then it is too late.

My advice is do not tempt fate until you are pretty darn secure in your sobritey because it just is just not worth it.

There are a few and my experience is that they are in the minority who can not be effected by drinking situations. For those people more power to you.

ReadyAndAble

IF/WHEN you're comfortable and they're comfortable, I don't see any problem. I meet friends in bars all the time. I have no desire to drink, but I'm always up for pub food and conversation.

ReadyAndAble

I should note for newbies that I avoided bars the first couple months. Now I've got the handle of it though. Professional driver, closed course, your mileage may vary.

hypochondriac

I avoided pubs a lot early on as I found it really hard being around alcohol, but now it doesn't bother me so much. I don't think there's anything wrong with being asked out for coffee though. I'd just be slightly wary if you think it's more fun hanging out with people who are drinking than people who aren't... I have a recovering alcoholic friend who always hangs out with heavy drinkers and I find it all a bit odd. He hasn't had a drop in over 20 years but it's like he is trying to imitate his drinking days somehow... Not my business really.

iloveme

....its like going into a hardware store and asking for a fresh baked loaf of bread.....

yestofreedom

i thought i was fine at pubs, ordering cranberry juice while my friends drank.
and actually, when i didnt drink, they drank less. So i was always warey of how
my drinking or not drinking effected others.
but sooner or later, i casually had one , but then that turned into two, and so on.
i used the fact that they met in pubs for me to be able to have an outlet.
i guess i am self-depricating or whatever that word is to put myself in harmful situations.

but that is just me.
all the times i messed up, i never thought id get into the situation, until it was too late.

must trust your instinct with every situation you walk into though.

TrixMixer

Hi Jungle Girl,

If you feel "completely comfortable in your sobriety"--why not ! The Moment you feel like you may want to drink, though :codiepolice

Then you will know it's not working for you anymore.

Good Luck,
Trixmixer

JungleGirl

thanks for all you input definitely has the brain ticking over! I too find being around drunks very uninteresting and annoying really but I still enjoy the first couple of hours, I still do lots of other things with my friends most of the time but occasionally I like going to the pub. I don't believe it is a temptation for me at this point, I know I don't want to drink ever again, drinking has absolutely no benefit for me or my life. Although if I ever feel like I am tempted - the bar is the first place I would avoid

Xune

Pubs, Bars and Taverns have lost their lustre now that I'm sober. After a hockey game, when the lads head over to the sports bar to have beer and wings...I just go home.