sadstate

Ok so I read the acronyms on the sticky for this forum, but how about those I see concerning alanon? I went to an alanon meeting and found out is was for children of alacoholics. ( AC) So although they are all very nice and I like the meetings, I have and AH so I do not relate to much of what is said. So I find a list on line of meetings in my area. I cannot find anywhere on line what these acronyms for alanon mean. What is Yana? What is AFG? What is Saturday survivors? How about Overcomers? and Friendship AFG? I would like to find another meeting with people that I can relate to , but dont want to end up at the "wrong" meeting.

bamboo10

I honestly have no idea what any of those mean. I have never heard them at an alanon meeting.

Ursula745

Here is a link of acronyms in TX.

http://www.texas-al-anon.org/Acronyms.htm

Ursula745

There may be more you need. If you search on al-anon for your state, you may find more.

choublak

Some of them may be meeting "themes"...

Zube

YANA=You Are Not Alone

The club that I frequent is YANA Club. It Hosts AA's, NA's, Al-anon's, Gamblers Anonymous, Overeaters Anonymous, etc.

Zube

Hopeworks

Here's some:

~ Easy Does It ~ Keep It Simple ~ How Important Is It? ~ First Things First ~ Live And Let Live ~ ~ One Day At A Time ~ Let Go And Let God ~ But For The Grace Of God, there go I ~ Think! Listen And Learn ~
~ Keep An Open Mind ~ Let It Begin With Me ~ Together We Can Make It ~ Be Honest ~ Keep Coming Back ~
~ Feel Good About Saying "No" ~ Fake It 'Till You Make It! ~ Use It Or Lose It ~ ~ Talk And Grow ~ Let Go & Let God ~ How Important is it? ~ Is it worth my Serenity ~ Whats to Be will Be ~ We Are all Different


Alanon's Three C's: Alcoholism: You didn't CAUSE it, You can't CONTROL it, and You can't CURE it!
3 C's ~ You Can Control Yourself, You Can Change Yourself, You Can Cure Yourself 3 A's ~ Awareness, Acceptance, Action
ANGELS EXIST but some times, since they don't all have wings, we call them FRIENDS.

This Too Shall Pass
Say what you mean but don't say it meanly. ~ Expectations are premeditated resentments.
"A's pick up the bottle alanons pick up people." ~ Take the blame out of me & all u get is bla bla bla.
"If HP brings you to it, HP will walk you through it." ~ "Change your attitude change your life.
Insanity is doing the same things over an expecting different results.
Dont go to the hardware store for bread.
My serenity is proportionate to my acceptance. Recovery is self-discovery.
Happiness & knowledge increase only as we share it with others.
Change my attitude, change my life.
EGO - Edging God Out ~ Courage is fear that has said its prayers. ~ Progress not Perfection.

FEAR ~ Future Events Aren't Real
YANA ~ You Are Not Alone
HELP ~ Help/Heal Ourselves/Others Purge Emptiness
MYOB ~ Mind My Own Business
FAITH ~ Finding Answers In The Heart
HALT(S) ~ Hungry Anxious/Angry Lonely Tired Sick or Honestly Actively Lovingly Tolerant
ANGER ~ A Negative Grudge Endangers Recovery
QTIP ~ Quit Taking It Personally
PUSH ~ Pray Until Something Happens
FINE ~ F**ked Up Insecure Neurotic
THINK ~ THOUGHTFUL HONEST INTELLIGENT NECESSARY KIND THANK HEAVEN I NOW KNOW GIFTS ~ Getting It From The Steps
ASK ~ Ask Seek Knock
HEART ~ Healing Enjoying And Recovering Together
HOPE ~ Happy Our Program Exists ~ healing/helping ourselves purge emptiness
GOD ~ Good Orderly Direction
JADE ~ (dont) Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain
COOL ~ CREATIVE OPPORTUNITIES OFFER LOVE
FROG ~ fully relying on god
DETACH ~ dont ever think about changing him/her&/or dont even try and change others
FEAR ~ future events aren't real
"My serenity is proportionate to my acceptance."
"You can't control the wind but you can set your sails."
"The mind is like a parachute, it works best when open."
"Thank You God for reminding me not to interfere with Your Divine Plan."
"Listen not to criticisms or accolades both take you off your path." A. Einstein
"Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be." B. Franklin
If you are looking in the past or the future, you're not living in the now. The present is a gift. The gift is now.
Live for today. Live for each and every new moment. Be gentle with yourself.
Fight for yourself, you are worth it, if you dont who will?
Let it begin with me: When anyone, anywhere reaches out for help - let the hand of Al-Anon & Alateen always be there and - Let it Begin With Me.

In recovery were all like infants, first we crawl then we can stand. We take steps & learn to walk before we can run free.
FACE IT: Become aware of the thinking/behaviour that is a problem
TRACE IT: Try to establish where you think it comes from and why
EMBRACE IT: Accept that you did the best you could with what you had at the time but it no longer needs to be that way. Forgive yourself.
ERASE IT: The thinking/behaviour no longer serves your best interests. To erase it, ask God to remove your shortcomings. Refuse to participate in the same thinking and behaviour patterns. You may 'slip' from time to time but thats ok, it's a process and it's about progress not perfection.
REPLACE IT: Nothing exists in a vacuum therefore if you remove something you need to put something else in it's place. Where possible fill the void with Gods love. You can replace negative thinking/behaviour with positive, healthy responses. Use the tools of the program. Sometimes we try something new and it doesn't work out for us, that's ok too, just try something different.
LET GO & LET GOD ATTEND TO THE DIVINE PLAN

Zube

VERY, VERY well said. Thanks Hopeworks.
Zube

Hopeworks

Here's more:


Al Anon is for people who want it rather than people who need it.

On Self Love and Self Care:

Learn to give from my overflow rather that from my reserve. This is self care, we learn to let go of burdens we were never meant to carry. Learn to ask, “What is the best thing for me?”


“I can only love myself as much as I believe I am lovable.”

Kindness – I like to treat myself with a Grandmother’s heart. Al-Anon is where we can practice kindness to ourselves. 


On Expectations:

An expectation is a premeditated resentment. Courage to Change Page 153

Any time I am in resentment, I am not taking care of myself. I am blaming someone else for something I need to do.

The higher the expectations, the lower the serenity. I try to keep my boundaries high, my expectations low, and my heart open. 



On the Steps:

Willingness comes from the pain, the healing comes from the steps.

Step 1. Surrender
Step 2. Sanity
Step 3. Serenity

There is a difference between “relief” and “recovery”.

Steps 1-3 bring relief
Steps 4-9 bring recovery..
Steps 10-12 maintain it…

Steps 6 & 7:

Step 6 Be willing, Be ready and let God do the work

Step 7 Humbly ask (acknowledge who I am in relation to God)

These steps have grown and I expand with the steps
.

The steps say WE, Al-Anon is program that is meant to be worked with another and with God.

Acronyms:

THINK:
Is it-
Thoughtful,
Honest,
Intelligent,
Necessary,
Kind

SHAME:
Should
Have
Already
Mastered
Everything.

WAIT:
Why
Am
I
Talking


LOVE:
Let
Others
Voluntarily
Evolve

EGO:
Easing
God
Out.

TTT:
Things
Take
Time

HALT:
Don't get too:
Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired

QTIP:
Quit
Taking
It
Personally

On Helping, Fixing and Controlling:

“Helping” I’m disrespecting their ability to do it themselves.

“Fixing”, I’m saying that they are broken,

“Serving” I am just showing up to listen.

“I remove the other person’s dignity if I try to make their decisions for them” ODAT pg 200


Control is only an illusion.

When we point a finger at someone, three are pointing back at us.

On Feelings and Emotions:

At times I am afraid of my own feelings if I don’t get in there and try to control.. what if?

When I have a feeling, I lean into it and look at the idea behind the feeling.

Learn to live with the “dis-ease” that comes when you stop something and practice new behavior, the feelings will pass. 


Anger can be constructive in telling me that someone else is stepping on some boundaries that I need to enforce.

I cannot give what I do not have.

I am not responsible for other people’s happiness.

“Worry is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind. If encouraged, it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained.” A.S. Roche

Toxic shame = the feeling that I am a mistake instead of feeling that I made a mistake.

We don’t have to act on our feelings, we can look at them and let them pass.

All suffering is the result of thought pointing in the wrong direction. Thought does not change an emotion but action does.

Every time I tell the truth, I gain my own freedom.

I need to be true to who I am to be able to have a sense of self.

Am I comparing my insides with other people’s outsides when I feel out of it in a group?

Don’t turn feelings into decisions.

On God, Prayer, and Meditation:

A coincidence is a little miracle in which God chooses to remain anonymous.

There are no mistakes, only lessons.

Be in nature and discover how much God loves you, “Pause, so you can hear the rabbits.”

I cannot give other people the status of my Higher Power.

I don’t worry about tomorrow because God has already been there and He has set the stage.

“God helps those who don’t try to take over His work”. ODAT pg 196

Change can only come from a position of acceptance.

What ever your heart clings to, that is your God. Martin Luther

Meditation “sitting quietly and letting the mud settle”

Where ever I place my attention, energy flows.

A mind is a dangerous place, don’t go there alone.

Pause for Poise.

Definitions:

Responsible = I want to be able to respond, not react.

Insanity = doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

Willingness = a readiness to change one’s perception.

The difference between pity and compassion – pity elevates me, compassion is empathy for another’s humanness. 


Pain is something that comes and goes, suffering is something we hold on to.

Resentment is anger re sent, it goes round and round resending the feelings. 


C.S. Lewis: 

Denial is the shock absorber for the soul. It protects us until we are equipped to cope with reality.

4 M’s = martyrdom, manipulating, managing and mothering

“The only difference between stumbling blocks and stepping stones is in how you use them” ODAT pg 185

Tools:



It is futile to spend time trying to figure out what makes some one else tick. Detachment

When I blame someone else for something, I give up my power to them.

Living in the past is VICTIM, Living in the future is MANIPULATING. Live in the present.

What you think of me is none of my business. 



When I get into a situation, I always ask myself, “What is my part in it? What is going on with me?” 




Things to say to the alcoholic when he/she does his/her thing: 
 I never thought of it that way. 
 You could be right 
 Hmmmmmm. 
 OH, SO, NO and WOW (Al Anon Sentences)




On Keeping it Simple: 


5 Sentences: 
This is what I want. This is what I need. This is what I feel. This is what I think. This is what I will do.

It is easier to resist the bait than to struggle with the hook.

My Happiness is My Responsibility

Worry is a terrible waste of time.

Say what you mean, mean what you say, but don’t be mean when you say it.

Would I rather be Right or would I rather be HAPPY.

“Be yourself because everyone else is taken.” Oscar Wilde

Al Anon is like a laboratory, we experiment and find out what works for us. 



Pelican

From my state website:

AT
Alateen
12 to 19 years old

YAT
Young Alateen
8 to 12 years old

AC
Adult Children
Adults whose parents are Alcoholic

PG
Parents Group
Parents whose children are Alcoholic

O
Open
Open meetings can be attended by anyone

C
Closed
Closed meetings are for those whose life has been or is being deeply affected by close contact with a problem drinker.
Please come to any Al*Anon or Alateen Opened or Closed meeting!

H
Handicap Accessible

M
Men's Focus

W
Women's Focus

NC
Newcomer
For those new to Al-Anon

BBS
Baby Sitting

Zube

I want Hopeworks on my sober Jeopardy team!
Zube