Went through a huge craving today
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: fort wayne, IN.
Posts: 1,085
Went through a huge craving today
Today is a rough one. My husband is mad at me. I'm not clear on why. I am not retaliating.
Left the office and drove to a store in my old neighborhood. Latino grocercies. Driving home and feeling uptight about it. I passed the liquor store I used to go to 20 years ago. It's still there I thought.
I remembered drinking beer in the summer. It's 9 degrees outside now.
I found myself wishing I could have a beer. No lie, after all I have gone through.
I kept on driving, kept thinking and thinking. I thought about me drunk. Staggering around blubbering on and on. I told myself that is why you can't drink girl.
I am home. Husband not speaking to me. I am not moved to analyze the situation.
I did not drink. I went through the memory of the first drink all the way to the last. Dealing with my alcoholism is such hard work at times. I am up to it. I am still sober and glad that I am
Left the office and drove to a store in my old neighborhood. Latino grocercies. Driving home and feeling uptight about it. I passed the liquor store I used to go to 20 years ago. It's still there I thought.
I remembered drinking beer in the summer. It's 9 degrees outside now.
I found myself wishing I could have a beer. No lie, after all I have gone through.
I kept on driving, kept thinking and thinking. I thought about me drunk. Staggering around blubbering on and on. I told myself that is why you can't drink girl.
I am home. Husband not speaking to me. I am not moved to analyze the situation.
I did not drink. I went through the memory of the first drink all the way to the last. Dealing with my alcoholism is such hard work at times. I am up to it. I am still sober and glad that I am
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Ontario, Canada
Posts: 929
You made a very good choice I think.
Just to let you know, I was angry at my wife the other day and had a flash like urge to drink. I didn`t and the flash of anger to lash out and drink didn`t last long...but it was still there.
I think it`s normal and what's important is what you do with it.
Not drink.
Just to let you know, I was angry at my wife the other day and had a flash like urge to drink. I didn`t and the flash of anger to lash out and drink didn`t last long...but it was still there.
I think it`s normal and what's important is what you do with it.
Not drink.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: California
Posts: 13,044
Well done Escapist, it is amazing how are spouses can at times be our biggest triggers. You made a good choice, and I am proud of you my fellow OctSOBER mate!!
Hopefully he will get over why he is upset, or at least clue you in, until then hang out here or go for a walk, read, something to keep your mind occupied.
Hopefully he will get over why he is upset, or at least clue you in, until then hang out here or go for a walk, read, something to keep your mind occupied.
Re-Tread
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Meditation
Posts: 1,300
Hey Escapist,
You definitely are NOT alone. Ive had some close calls and 'just get thru this hour' moments recently too. I swear some days I think my wife antagonizes me just to see if she can get me to drink. I know she isnt, its just the usual crap I could ignore when I was drunk...
Until I couldnt ignore it anymore and snapped. The outcomes are much better for me now that I am excersizing patience and tolerance.
Good job in not picking up! Another crisis overcome and another sober day in the rear view mirror
You definitely are NOT alone. Ive had some close calls and 'just get thru this hour' moments recently too. I swear some days I think my wife antagonizes me just to see if she can get me to drink. I know she isnt, its just the usual crap I could ignore when I was drunk...
Until I couldnt ignore it anymore and snapped. The outcomes are much better for me now that I am excersizing patience and tolerance.
Good job in not picking up! Another crisis overcome and another sober day in the rear view mirror
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Alliance, OH
Posts: 13
Originally Posted by escapist 
I did not drink. I went through the memory of the first drink all the way to the last. Dealing with my alcoholism is such hard work at times. I am up to it. I am still sober and glad that I am
Oh, and GOOD JOB!
Member
Join Date: Aug 2011
Posts: 2,308
Escapist,
congratulations on getting through that battle, an important victory. I liked that you weren't moved to analyze the situation, for some reason that soundedl like the right thing to do. Good that you saw the drink to the end, there are no happy endings once we start drinking.
All strength to you
Love
CaiHong
congratulations on getting through that battle, an important victory. I liked that you weren't moved to analyze the situation, for some reason that soundedl like the right thing to do. Good that you saw the drink to the end, there are no happy endings once we start drinking.
All strength to you
Love
CaiHong
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