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Old 01-02-2013, 11:55 AM
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hello

hi all, have been lurking here in my corner for a while and have finally gotten enough courage up to post.
i've been a binge drinker for a very long time, but 4 years ago after a family emergency it changed to every night. recently i've had my own emergency and am now desperate to stop, so i've been tapering with beer since september 2012.
i have managed to get it down from 12+ units per night to 8, then 4- where i was stuck until december- am now making progress again, and this new year's eve i only had 2 units :-)
my big problem is the fear. i am absolutely terrified of getting seizures/Dts and having them kill me. i'm 36, badly overweight because of the beer, and a smoker. (i know, recipie for disaster)
i was hoping to be a/f last night but got so scared i had 2 beers and went to bed thoroughly ashamed. the good thing was i didn't go mental and drink everything in the house, so i do have some control still.
can anyone tell me how bad it's likely to get when i have the courage to let that one last beer go? i really really want to be free, but i am so scared i'll die. thanks for reading xx
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Old 01-02-2013, 12:01 PM
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Hello ScaredKitty and welcome to SR.
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Old 01-02-2013, 12:14 PM
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Hi ScaredKitty

If you're worried about withdrawal, seizures etc the very best thing to do, bar none, is see a Dr - they'll check you out and at the very least you can set your mind at rest that way.

Detox can be rough but very few people suffer the kinds of things you're scared of
Go see the Dr and do things right

D
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Old 01-02-2013, 12:25 PM
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getting off grog made my life better not worse. It can take time. I think the danger in withdrawal is in the first week. See a Dr and get some advice.

You have been making a great effort - keep steps in the same direction
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Old 01-02-2013, 12:35 PM
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thanks for responding, very nice to get a warm and friendly welcome!
i have actually been to my doctor back in september, had a chat about it all and had tests done- which all came back ok to my relief! he didn't seem overly concerned about me stopping, although he couldn't really offer much in the way of practical advice, and he didn't make it a big issue about wd effects and so on. basically he left me to my own devices as far as cutting down and stopping. am just really scared of taking that final step, though i really badly want to xx
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Old 01-02-2013, 12:48 PM
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Welcome scaredkitty. There are so many kind people here who will support you in that final step and beyond. Is it possible to follow up with your doc, give him a progress report and let him know about your anxiety about quitting?

Take care.
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Old 01-02-2013, 12:55 PM
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Welcome, scaredkitty. You are in a good place here and will find some great advise your doctor, or friends not in the same situation you are in, will give you. I found myself drinking morning noon and night for a few months while I was home taking care of my son. I felt like no one understood what I was going through and went at my own pace. I quit cold turkey and fortunately am still sober. Determination and careful dieting, exercising will definitely bring you awesome results! Good luck with this, I hope to see progress in your later posts! Practical words are found in this forum, and you will never be short of praise and good words!
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Old 01-02-2013, 01:05 PM
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Well, you took your first step in admitting you have a problem. Sounds like you are willing to take steps to quit as well, also good. My doctor told me to moderate before quitting as well. It worked for awhile but as long as I knew I could have a drink it just got worse. Decide to quit today. The first couple days are tough for some and make sure you go to the ER if things get bad. You can always detox there until you are out of the woods. Once you get some sobriety under your belt you are going to love your new life. I am betting you will also lose some weight!! You can do it, TODAY.
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Old 01-02-2013, 01:14 PM
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I was in your situation before I quit Kitty. I had cut down a lot but found it hard to take that final plunge. My drinking went up and down for a few months but even though I wasn't drinking much a lot of the time I still felt dreadful. I can't tell you what made me quit, it was a bit of a now or never moment, but the inspiration I found here helped a lot. I still had withdrawal symptoms but I checked in with a doctor after a few days and he said I was fine.

If you have any more alcohol in the house get rid of it and make a doctors appointment. If you are worried in the evening phone NHS direct, I am sure they will be able to put your mind at ease or advise you what to do or say to your doctor based on your symptoms.

Good luck and welcome to SR x
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Old 01-02-2013, 01:33 PM
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I quit drinking after a steady daily of 4-7 drinks, sometimes more, rarely less. It wasn't too bad, and if you need or want Dr.'s advice, take it. Many insurance companies offer a nurse's line too that might help.

The first few days of sobriety I read a lot of addiction memoirs and read a ton of SR posts. It really helped ease my fears and shore up the courage that I could do this. Seven months sober now, and I love it. Doesn't make everyday rosy, but it doesn't make it worse. I lost 20 lbs too, btw, just from cutting out the alcohol. Watch the sugar cravings though, they were crazy for me at first. I indulged a little , but find too much sugar makes me feel impulsive. Good luck, you are wonderful and brave to be here!
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Old 01-02-2013, 01:43 PM
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Welcome to SR!

Hugs and prayers,

Amy
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Old 01-02-2013, 02:29 PM
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Hi scaredkitty
I know it doesn't seem like it now, but it is so much easier to live without the ball-and-chain of booze. It's scary to jump off, but once you do you can be free!
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Old 01-03-2013, 03:29 AM
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oh, oh, oh my goodness- I DID IT!!!!!!!!
after spending so much time reading all your stories, all the highs and lows, and realising that am not alone, then finally making a post and getting so much support and encouragement from you- last night i didn't drink.
am so unbelievably delighted! i know the hard work starts now, but i know i can do it, i can i can i can- and i am!
still a wee bit wibbly at times, had very bad sleep and twitchy legs through the night, and i understand it will get worse before it gets better, but i can see the light in the tunnel now. i feel amazing!
thank you for all the messages and support, it really really helped xxxxxx
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Old 01-03-2013, 03:48 AM
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well done for reaching out Scared, whilst everyone is different and the doc knows best, I pulled up to a total stop overnight after drinking 10 to 20 units a night and more on weekends for well over 10 years and whilst week 1 was not a week I'd like to do again I'm still here and feeling 1,000 times more together.

Good luck, you can do it.
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Old 01-03-2013, 03:51 AM
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Congratulations SK

D
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Old 01-03-2013, 04:44 AM
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Originally Posted by scaredkitty View Post
he didn't seem overly concerned about me stopping, although he couldn't really offer much in the way of practical advice, and he didn't make it a big issue about wd effects and so on.
I had a very similar experience a year ago with a doctor. I hate this attitude in the medical field. I may be off base here, but I think one of my largest problems I've had with quitting is the response of my doctor when I went for advice concerned about my health. I told them I drank (although I probably was misleading on the low side) but regardless I wish my doctor hadn't responded by saying "oh it's not a huge deal."

I don't blame the doctor for saying that. My addiction is because of my choices and my lack of control in my life. But I feel that it was the first time I gave that first cry for help, admitting that I wasn't in control anymore. Instead I felt that the doctor to some extent validated my behavior.

I am working on my second day of sobriety and reading posts here has helped me immensely in getting through those difficult first 24 hours. Thank you for sharing.
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