Sadconfused

For those of you that have left your A's, how did you do it? In person? A letter? What did you say? Ive never ended a relationship, this is the only one ive really been in. He is pretty volitile. He claims to be quitting after his outburst new years eve night. He jumped in my face with his chest all puffed up like i was a man he was going to fight, he called names and said some pretty mean stuff. Of course apologizing the next day, im starting to think he really means a lot of what he says when he is drunk. I think it is all his real thoughts and feelings that he doesnt have the nerve to share otherwise. I dunno, dont really care i just want out fast and safely. I know he is going to flip out so im unsure the best way to go about it.

redatlanta

So sorry this happened Sadconfused!

I have not read all of your story are you married?

Sadconfused

We are not, we have been together for 11 or 12 years and have a 2 yr old together. This all started about 5? Yrs ago and has slowly progressed.

redatlanta

Then I would advise the safety of yourself and your child come first.

I am not going to advise what I would do in this situation because I have not been in it - I don't have a child.

I do think for all deciding to leave if possible the most important thing is to have a plan. Do you have somewhere to go? Financially are you ok? Are their steps you need to take before you leave to protect you and your child (i.e. taking money out of an account so the A can't cut you off).

If you think he is going to flip out and he has already been abusive personally I would not confront him with it. Your safety comes first.

Of course you could get a protective order and have him leave not sure if you had thought about that.

There will be others along with more advice. So sorry this has happened and will send prayers your way that you get out safely.

Sadconfused

As of now we both live with my dad (an A as well), i dont work. My dad supports me (he pays all the bills and rent in the house though it is all in my name and my car payment) ABF inputs very little financially but enough that it helps when we need it. I want to work my way away from both of them but i cant do it all at once. I am looking for a job as my mom said ahe will watch my daughter part time so if i can get away from ABF then i can work on saving up for my own place. He would never hurt our daughter but he has been physical with me about 5 or 6 times now and thats not counting the times that i defused the situation. I cant trust him. I dont know how custody would work since we arent married.
I also know my dad is going to be difficult, he is very old school and thinks everyone with a kid should stay together no matter what for the kid like him and my mom dis which turned out so well for them and us kids. Lifes going to get crazier before its gets better im.guessing.