Binge drinker
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 104
Binge drinker
I'm not new to SR, but new to having to turn the microscope on myself. Here is my story in a nutshell:
I have been a binge drinker for over 20 years, since I was a teenager. College was the worst of it, but back then, it was a term that was just starting to surface. I thought I was just a typical college student, even if it meant blackouts, missing work, and failing classes. I managed to graduate from a good university, and got a job with a great company. I still continued to go out, but rarely missed work, or had at that point, probably managed to function better hungover.
Two years into my job, I got married, which definitely helped curb the drinking. If I did drink, it was usually at home with friends, so I wasn't behind the wheel. My ex had his own vices, but alcohol wasn't really one of them. I felt very responsible and more in control of my alcohol use those 7 years, but unfortunately his pot addiction grew and led to a divorce. It's been a pretty bad downhill slide since. I met a man with whom I partied all the time, and what should've been a rebound turned into almost a year of drama and drinking. One night I went to his apartment and found him with another woman, and turned my fist and foot black and blue beating on the door. I felt I had hit an all-time low. I tried on my own to curb my drinking, but that fall, both him and my ex-husband got engaged in the same month. I spiraled even more out of control, and nearly lost my job. I basically got a demotion but no pay cut, so I was lucky.
Then I met xABF. We met at a bar, so it was destined for trouble. I let him move in despite all the red flags indicating he had a problem with alcohol. Despite several attempts for us both to moderate, he just began to hide his alcohol abuse. After 14 months together, I kicked him out. He had been verbally abusive and it culminated with him wrecking my car, drunk, through a house in our neighborhood. I had already started to look for another job, and after a few months of healing with friends, I decided to move two states away, when I'd never lived outside of TX borders.
The move has been tougher on me than I had hoped. I follow an NFL team closely, so the first spot I found to hang out regularly was a bar around the corner. Then coworkers would invite me to happy hour, and a mutual friend put me in touch with someone I've really bonded with, but who drinks every day. My opportunities to drink are frequent, and my loneliness leads me to accept them way too often. I also think the climate change, as well as my compromised liver function from drinking have me sick all the time. I've already missed several days of work at my new job due to serious illnesses and allergy issues.
I need help and support, so I'm reaching out on the boards because I don't know anyone in my new city that doesn't drink. And having gone to Al-Anon for xABF, I just don't know if I could stick AA out long enough to work. I hated Al Anon meetings. I felt like a fish out of water. If anyone can suggest books, other treatment programs, etc, I'd love to get some new ideas. If all else fails, I'll try to find the right AA group.
Thanks, and Happy New Year.
I have been a binge drinker for over 20 years, since I was a teenager. College was the worst of it, but back then, it was a term that was just starting to surface. I thought I was just a typical college student, even if it meant blackouts, missing work, and failing classes. I managed to graduate from a good university, and got a job with a great company. I still continued to go out, but rarely missed work, or had at that point, probably managed to function better hungover.
Two years into my job, I got married, which definitely helped curb the drinking. If I did drink, it was usually at home with friends, so I wasn't behind the wheel. My ex had his own vices, but alcohol wasn't really one of them. I felt very responsible and more in control of my alcohol use those 7 years, but unfortunately his pot addiction grew and led to a divorce. It's been a pretty bad downhill slide since. I met a man with whom I partied all the time, and what should've been a rebound turned into almost a year of drama and drinking. One night I went to his apartment and found him with another woman, and turned my fist and foot black and blue beating on the door. I felt I had hit an all-time low. I tried on my own to curb my drinking, but that fall, both him and my ex-husband got engaged in the same month. I spiraled even more out of control, and nearly lost my job. I basically got a demotion but no pay cut, so I was lucky.
Then I met xABF. We met at a bar, so it was destined for trouble. I let him move in despite all the red flags indicating he had a problem with alcohol. Despite several attempts for us both to moderate, he just began to hide his alcohol abuse. After 14 months together, I kicked him out. He had been verbally abusive and it culminated with him wrecking my car, drunk, through a house in our neighborhood. I had already started to look for another job, and after a few months of healing with friends, I decided to move two states away, when I'd never lived outside of TX borders.
The move has been tougher on me than I had hoped. I follow an NFL team closely, so the first spot I found to hang out regularly was a bar around the corner. Then coworkers would invite me to happy hour, and a mutual friend put me in touch with someone I've really bonded with, but who drinks every day. My opportunities to drink are frequent, and my loneliness leads me to accept them way too often. I also think the climate change, as well as my compromised liver function from drinking have me sick all the time. I've already missed several days of work at my new job due to serious illnesses and allergy issues.
I need help and support, so I'm reaching out on the boards because I don't know anyone in my new city that doesn't drink. And having gone to Al-Anon for xABF, I just don't know if I could stick AA out long enough to work. I hated Al Anon meetings. I felt like a fish out of water. If anyone can suggest books, other treatment programs, etc, I'd love to get some new ideas. If all else fails, I'll try to find the right AA group.
Thanks, and Happy New Year.
Life Health Prosperity
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Louisana
Posts: 6,752
Happy New Year Bluebonnet. I felt like a fish out of water in the beginning of my sobriety, but going on 2 years 7 months sober, I'm becoming more comfortable with it. It does get easier as time goes by. 
SR Fan
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Mississippi
Posts: 7,910
Welcome - lots of support on this side, too!
It sounds like you've been through a lot and realize you deserve better, so that's awesome! Since I've been sober, I've realized how much drinking influenced my decisions/behaviors long before it became a real problem.
It always takes time to settle in to change (or a new city, for that matter). It's just a matter of finding out what you like and what's out there. In any city, there are usually classes/groups for all kinds of things.
Work on being your own best friend, too.
I hope this is a wonderful new year for you in ways you never imagined!
It sounds like you've been through a lot and realize you deserve better, so that's awesome! Since I've been sober, I've realized how much drinking influenced my decisions/behaviors long before it became a real problem.
It always takes time to settle in to change (or a new city, for that matter). It's just a matter of finding out what you like and what's out there. In any city, there are usually classes/groups for all kinds of things.
Work on being your own best friend, too.
I hope this is a wonderful new year for you in ways you never imagined!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,367
Welcome back bluebonnet!
you'll find a lot of support there
There's a lot of recovery methods around 'out there' too.
here's some links to some of the main players:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
I also recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.
D
you'll find a lot of support there
There's a lot of recovery methods around 'out there' too.
here's some links to some of the main players:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
I also recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach.
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Bluebonnet: Welcome to SR! Please stay posted. It sounds like you do need help and support. Your mention of liver function problems suggests that the clock is ticking for you, the way it ticked for me so many years ago. There are a number of alternate recovery programs and I'm sure that the SR folks will be suggesting these. There are also different types of AA programs, even ones for agnostics. This is especially true in metropolitan areas.
First step. See a doctor or continue to see one if you have been doing this. Secondly, consult a counselor and get involved with a program which involves others in recovery, so you have some companionship other than bars, etc.
W.
First step. See a doctor or continue to see one if you have been doing this. Secondly, consult a counselor and get involved with a program which involves others in recovery, so you have some companionship other than bars, etc.
W.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: Between Meetings
Posts: 8,997
Originally Posted by Bluebonnet1 
I just don't know if I could stick AA out long enough to work.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Posts: 104
Thanks for all of the suggestions and support! I've downloaded 'Sober for Good', and plan to discuss programs with either my doctor or dietician. I didn't mean to imply that I didn't want to attend AA because I don't believe in a higher power. And I like Sapling's comment that it's about the 12 steps as much as the meetings. I'm going to look at this as a journey, and it may mean some trial and error, but I'll just take it one day at a time and post often!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Massachusetts
Posts: 3,550
Bluebonnet1 wrote:
" I'm going to look at this as a journey, and it may mean some trial and error, but I'll just take it one day at a time and post often!'
That sounds like a fine plan! Choose the path which is best for you and then go on your journey, one step at a time, one day at a time. What you can find on such a journey can be truly amazing!
W.
" I'm going to look at this as a journey, and it may mean some trial and error, but I'll just take it one day at a time and post often!'
That sounds like a fine plan! Choose the path which is best for you and then go on your journey, one step at a time, one day at a time. What you can find on such a journey can be truly amazing!
W.
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