My milestone markers
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
My milestone markers
For the same reasons AA gives out coins to mark milestones I have long marked my own milestones since I was a teen. It seems natural to me. It was not obvious what I was doing at first but over the years I do it consciously as a way to help transition.
They mark the big emotional lines as I pass between them. Sometimes I knew I passed through. Sometimes only in hindsight and the marker was that acknowledgment.
You might think I have a basement full of things...stuff...but no. Very few moments require a marker. I never force the issue. I know when one is needed.
The past markers may not have been as clear why I did it at that time but over the years I put words to it. Now I know. Each carries a clear memory and purpose.
Take for instance a silver coin from Bolivia dated 1936, my mothers birth year. She gave it to me as a young boy. And with that ignited my imagination and started me coin collecting. Something I still love today. This coin is special because the week before she passed I sat on the bed wondering it I should travel to Florida. I didn't know how sick she was at that moment.
I sat on the bed and this coin was there. Because it was there I decided to make the drive from Maine to see her. That was when I got to say good by and for good or bad tell her she was a good mother to me.
Now the coin is always in a box I have for these markers. Every sentimental fool has one of these boxes. It's required for the part. If I was asked where that coin was that day I would say it was in that box. But no. It was on the bed. I accepted it for what it was and left the next morning for the drive. That's a special coin for me.
I recently added a new marker to my small collection. A ring. Silver. It is simple. A strand of silver wrapped like a string. No particular pattern to it. Just looks like string. I liked it because it had no pattern.
I am calling it my freedom ring. A symbol I can wear daily that reminds me to stay sober. Be wise. Love smartly.
In the years to come I don't know what I will think when I see this ring or if I will still wear it. But until then it serves a great purpose. Get me through those moments I need remembering. Then move on from there.
I cannot say for certain I want any more of these markers in my life. They come with a price. They come with growth as a person and a man. I don't look for them, they seem to find me. All I do is save them. And I guess... To be extra sappy... They save me.
They mark the big emotional lines as I pass between them. Sometimes I knew I passed through. Sometimes only in hindsight and the marker was that acknowledgment.
You might think I have a basement full of things...stuff...but no. Very few moments require a marker. I never force the issue. I know when one is needed.
The past markers may not have been as clear why I did it at that time but over the years I put words to it. Now I know. Each carries a clear memory and purpose.
Take for instance a silver coin from Bolivia dated 1936, my mothers birth year. She gave it to me as a young boy. And with that ignited my imagination and started me coin collecting. Something I still love today. This coin is special because the week before she passed I sat on the bed wondering it I should travel to Florida. I didn't know how sick she was at that moment.
I sat on the bed and this coin was there. Because it was there I decided to make the drive from Maine to see her. That was when I got to say good by and for good or bad tell her she was a good mother to me.
Now the coin is always in a box I have for these markers. Every sentimental fool has one of these boxes. It's required for the part. If I was asked where that coin was that day I would say it was in that box. But no. It was on the bed. I accepted it for what it was and left the next morning for the drive. That's a special coin for me.
I recently added a new marker to my small collection. A ring. Silver. It is simple. A strand of silver wrapped like a string. No particular pattern to it. Just looks like string. I liked it because it had no pattern.
I am calling it my freedom ring. A symbol I can wear daily that reminds me to stay sober. Be wise. Love smartly.
In the years to come I don't know what I will think when I see this ring or if I will still wear it. But until then it serves a great purpose. Get me through those moments I need remembering. Then move on from there.
I cannot say for certain I want any more of these markers in my life. They come with a price. They come with growth as a person and a man. I don't look for them, they seem to find me. All I do is save them. And I guess... To be extra sappy... They save me.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: fort wayne, IN.
Posts: 1,085
Sweet stuff Ken.
I still have a pin from kindergarten sunday school. It has a cross on it. It is the only tangible symbol of my original family. My father was still married to my mother and my little brother was one. It reminds me that I once had a family.We were together then. Years later everything had changed to the point of being unrecognizable. Including our names. My brother and I were adopted by my mother's new monster husband. Somehow I have managed to hang on to that pin for 45 years.
I still have a pin from kindergarten sunday school. It has a cross on it. It is the only tangible symbol of my original family. My father was still married to my mother and my little brother was one. It reminds me that I once had a family.We were together then. Years later everything had changed to the point of being unrecognizable. Including our names. My brother and I were adopted by my mother's new monster husband. Somehow I have managed to hang on to that pin for 45 years.
Clear Eyes Full Heart
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 1,272
Yes, Ken definitely has a beautiful writing style. Should be published 
I'm so glad you had that coin to help you make peace with and see your mom before she passed. I too believe in signs and keepsakes.
I'm so glad you had that coin to help you make peace with and see your mom before she passed. I too believe in signs and keepsakes.
A simple guy making his way
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2012
Location: Maine
Posts: 7,867
LOL... no i am not published.
I write from my heart. where else can you do that? in my everyday life no one wants to hear how you think or feel. They don't.
but that's what makes us tick, no?
I am just glad I have gotten to know everyone on SR. It makes a difference for me.
I write from my heart. where else can you do that? in my everyday life no one wants to hear how you think or feel. They don't.
but that's what makes us tick, no?
I am just glad I have gotten to know everyone on SR. It makes a difference for me.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
They say that pain is the touchstone (marker 
) of spiritual growth. I can relate to those early days, coming out of that haze of shame and guilt... Do whatever it takes. It does get easier.... and you won't need so many touchstones.
) of spiritual growth. I can relate to those early days, coming out of that haze of shame and guilt... Do whatever it takes. It does get easier.... and you won't need so many touchstones.
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