new years nutcase
box of chocolates
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,013
new years nutcase
So I woke up a bit late today. Stayed up with my kids till early morning.
They refused to sleep and were wired while ah slept like a baby.
When I did get up ah said hed been up for awhile and clearly drinking.
Time goes by and its tolerable then he has his "alchy" period. Sort of. Goes into a rage about something that happened to a family member over 7 yrs ago. Something they did to themselves. They knew right from wrong and he blamed others...lots of talking which I tried tuning out.. settling him down etc. He looked like a cheetoh red and angry ....yelling about bs and then said he was leaving. said no please dont leave. Its new years. The cops are out. Etc... he leaves anyways f this f that f you.
Am I glad he left? Heres the thing I am glad he left because I nor my kids should have to listen to that but upset that he is too drunken stupid to realize he shouldn't have.
Im sure hell be at the bar. Stuppppppiiiiiiiddddddd
They refused to sleep and were wired while ah slept like a baby.
When I did get up ah said hed been up for awhile and clearly drinking.
Time goes by and its tolerable then he has his "alchy" period. Sort of. Goes into a rage about something that happened to a family member over 7 yrs ago. Something they did to themselves. They knew right from wrong and he blamed others...lots of talking which I tried tuning out.. settling him down etc. He looked like a cheetoh red and angry ....yelling about bs and then said he was leaving. said no please dont leave. Its new years. The cops are out. Etc... he leaves anyways f this f that f you.
Am I glad he left? Heres the thing I am glad he left because I nor my kids should have to listen to that but upset that he is too drunken stupid to realize he shouldn't have.
Im sure hell be at the bar. Stuppppppiiiiiiiddddddd
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: PA
Posts: 985
Ditto.
My XAH did this often. When I learned to let him go... we were able to be ourselves. This is the beginning of letting go and moving forward.
I feels sad at first and then when you listen to the children laugh and feel able to be themselves.... you know it is better. Think about it.
My XAH did this often. When I learned to let him go... we were able to be ourselves. This is the beginning of letting go and moving forward.
I feels sad at first and then when you listen to the children laugh and feel able to be themselves.... you know it is better. Think about it.
box of chocolates
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,013
Thanks.
I have done very good leaving him to his own. Letting him call his shots but
I keep banging my own head wondering why I keep tolerating it.
I guess the question for me is when is it enough?
I cant see me spending forever with a drunken arse.
He ended up coming back and passing out and so me and the kids continued to have a good day.
Playing watching cartoons the works.
I have done very good leaving him to his own. Letting him call his shots but
I keep banging my own head wondering why I keep tolerating it.
I guess the question for me is when is it enough?
I cant see me spending forever with a drunken arse.
He ended up coming back and passing out and so me and the kids continued to have a good day.
Playing watching cartoons the works.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 490
Lonelygirl my XAH managed to ruin every single celebration and holiday for the last 8? years.
The last one I allowed him to ruin he was standing over both me and my mother while we were trying to watch a movie. He was demanding we listen to him sing and play the piano. SCREAMING at us to LISTEN TO HIM NOW!
The next family celebration after that he drunkenly tried to have a conversation with my father about his, XAH's sex life. I was so disgusted. Revolted.
I remember one Xmas when the kids were little he managed to drag his drunken arse out of bed to see them get their gifts. Then he went back to bed until at least midday and started drinking again. We were staying with my Grandmother at the time...
I put up with it for wayyyy too long. WAYYYY WAY WAY WAYYYY.
The last one I allowed him to ruin he was standing over both me and my mother while we were trying to watch a movie. He was demanding we listen to him sing and play the piano. SCREAMING at us to LISTEN TO HIM NOW!
The next family celebration after that he drunkenly tried to have a conversation with my father about his, XAH's sex life. I was so disgusted. Revolted.
I remember one Xmas when the kids were little he managed to drag his drunken arse out of bed to see them get their gifts. Then he went back to bed until at least midday and started drinking again. We were staying with my Grandmother at the time...
I put up with it for wayyyy too long. WAYYYY WAY WAY WAYYYY.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2009
Location: PA
Posts: 985
lonelygirl,
Just keep asking yourself "when is it enough"? There are many posts here from the past about the topic or start one of your own. Keep your mind open and if it takes watching your kids to find peace for now - do that.
I started by asking myself the question - then tried to set up markers to know when... as I faced and passed over each marker, I thought harder the next one.
It takes time for some. Hang in there, stay here --post and read and go to alanon if possible. There is also a book list which is helpful in learning.
Here's a gift of time and support.
Just keep asking yourself "when is it enough"? There are many posts here from the past about the topic or start one of your own. Keep your mind open and if it takes watching your kids to find peace for now - do that.
I started by asking myself the question - then tried to set up markers to know when... as I faced and passed over each marker, I thought harder the next one.
It takes time for some. Hang in there, stay here --post and read and go to alanon if possible. There is also a book list which is helpful in learning.
Here's a gift of time and support.
box of chocolates
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Texas
Posts: 1,013
Sparkle kitty-
Yes he says he still plans on it. Hes a week away from his raise and says he will do outpatient.
The raise I know as fact and I know he says outpatient but my fear is like others ive read about...hell
Just put me back on the hamster wheel with false promises or relapse later on and be back to square one doing the dance all over again.
I just need to find strength to say enough if he does not follow through and find my happy place. Im really good at doing that and being positive but it gets testing.
Yes he says he still plans on it. Hes a week away from his raise and says he will do outpatient.
The raise I know as fact and I know he says outpatient but my fear is like others ive read about...hell
Just put me back on the hamster wheel with false promises or relapse later on and be back to square one doing the dance all over again.
I just need to find strength to say enough if he does not follow through and find my happy place. Im really good at doing that and being positive but it gets testing.
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