mittens2020

I had a slip this weekend after 12 days. I am kicking myself for it. I blew 12 days just to have one shot.

Problem is, now that I have slipped the AV is urging me to "just take tonight off" - it's NYE. It is screaming at me - like what do I have to lose, I've already blown it.

I'm on day 2 (since slip) and holding on by a thread. Any and all advice would be VERY welcome. I am worried I am doing to be back on day one again tomorrow. I don't want to be there again!

hamabi

Glad to hear you decided to remain sober.

You've complete control of your own elbow and what is in your glass.

MIRecovery

Try an AA meeting. They work for me

ReadyAtLast

Welcome back mittens.I know how you feel as have been there many times. Try and think of tonight as just a normal/boring Monday night-nothing special,avoid parties,do anything to distract yourself read/watch a movie/have a bath/go to bed early.you'll be really proud of yourself tomorrow.stay strong

have a read of the xmas strategies thread dee posted and the urge surfing link

courage2

Well... as a newbie myself I'm no expert, but I do think that if you just slipped w/just one airplane bottle (which is I think what you said in another post) you're physically still okay, BUT if you go into a slide you'll have to go through the whole god-awful detox process again. Which would suck.

Plus whenever I've slipped my use has rapidlly gotten worse than ever before, which makes me personally fear what it would be like if I ever slip again.

I think it's easy to get too hung up on counting days. You ddin't "waste" 12 days -- you had 12 days of recovery, and you can have more, starting now!

TTBABP

Het mittens - you are kicking yourself for the one shot. Even if you don't get drunk - are you going to regret losing another two days if you drink tonight? And, are you sure you will be able to stop if you have one drink tonight?

Think it through.

Good luck. I wil be thinking of you

Michael66

Hey mittens,

Well done for getting back on track again. You'll feel really good making it a sober NYE. How about hanging around here if you need some support. I'm sure you'll very much support others as well.

God bless - and hang in there.

Xune

Why hold on by a thread, when you can anchor yourself firmly by knowing you will not drink again.

Answer the question as to why you chose to drink a single shot and you will be better able to never do so again.

Best of luck to you.

freshstart57

Take a day off? From what? It sounds like your choice of sobriety is some sort of diet of deprivation for you, and that would never have gone well with me. I can resist anything except temptation.

I came to believe that I had chosen the way back to 'me'. I had decided to leave that life of depression, anxiety, guilt, shame, and misery behind me. I chose to no longer be a slave to that bottle. For me, to drink again would be to take a day off from freedom, and that is never going to happen.

artsoul

You didn't keep drinking, and that's huge.....:ghug3 When I had those awful, intense cravings, I just came here and read like crazy until they went away. And they will go away.... it's just very, very uncomfortable right now, I know.

Take it in manageable bites.....stay sober for another minute, or another 5 minutes and take it from there. We're here for you!

Valll

Dear mittens2020,

if you want to slip again, you will.

If you dont, you wont...simple.

Good luck x

YVRguy

For myself , I had to surrender to the fact I could never drink like I had long ago or as non alcoholics can. My obsession for the drink was relieved and I don't hear AV or other things , just serenity and support.

I tried my self will and hung on by those bare threads many times but for myself , my will was not enough. For some , their self will seems to work. On my self will I was a not so nice drunk and a not so nice sober person.

I have a daily reprieve from the thoughts and obsession to drink and the solution for me was simple but not easy.

I gave AA the 90 meetings 90 days test drive and glad I did not have my misery refunded but serenity and peace building one day at a time. Just my experience but lots of methods have worked for others.

Remember the last spree and how it ended and that always helped me stay sober another day when I was white knuckling.

Best of luck

wpainterw

Hi MIttens:
The problem is that the body doesn't figure in terms of days, or whatever. So although the AV may be whispering to you that you can drink tonight because "it doesn't make any difference- you've already blown it. You can start tomorrow, etc. etc." this is utter bs. It does make a difference, a very big one. You may not be able to "start" tomorrow. You haven't "blown it" if you stop right now. Right now. Every ounce of booze that goes into your bod lessens your chances. If you fall for that AV line you may hear a soft chuckle coming from the bottom of your brain that you've sure been suckered out- set up!

W

Natom

Hey mittens,

You didn't slip. You fell. But there is nothing wrong with that as long as you acknowledge why it happened. Perhaps do some writing about your feelings leading upto, during, and after your 'slip' to allow you to gain some perspective over the situation. And as far as your 'AV' goes, tell it to sod off.

Natom.

Dee74

some great advice here mittens.

My entire drinking career was led by the 'eff it' principle...oh well, I've drunk now, may as well drink some more...

It's an incredibly destructive thing to think...and it saddens me to think I thought so little of myself.

you can either move on from this right now and stay sober...or wake up a couple of months from now having drunk every day...or any point on that continuum.

The longer you leave going back to recovery the harder it will get tho.

Do the smart thing mittens

D

Bubovski

The little lapses may be small, but I am convinced they detract from our over all accumulated sense of achievement.On the positive side they can start us off on the sober road again, as a reminder of longer hauls ahead,and that ever continuing challenge.

stepping

mittens - Hi Stay strong and remember ultimately you decide to pick up or stay sober.

Go to an AA meeting

Call a sober supporting friend

Read/Post here on SR

Take a Walk

JUST DON'T drink! You are in control. Tell that AV to shut the heck up! And remember next time you slip that AV gets louder, more annoying and persistant with each slip. And as Dee says makes it even harder to jump back onto recovery road. Don't ya agree it's just easier to stay the heck away from the poison?!?!

Happy New Year to you and I wish you luck

TrixMixer

Hi Mittens,

Frankly it was a"shot"--big deal just try and ignore it and don't think of it as a "relapse", cut yourself a break and just go on like today is 14 days sober---now you really do not want to blow that . 14 days/not 12--it was a blip in the scheme of things, as long as you went right back to sobriety....well that is just my opinion!:ghug3

LadyinBC

I agree the one thing I could never do was throw it away. Good luck to you. Keep it simple and just get thru one day at a time.

LadyinBC

I really like this. It is so true. I know I use to set myself up for a relapse. I could come up with any excuse to do it.