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Old 12-29-2012, 09:23 PM
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Clear Eyes Full Heart
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Takes one to know one

A lot of newcomers ask if they are really an alcoholic, or if they can drink in moderation, etc. Maybe people here can share some of the things they notice in people that aren't "normal" drinkers, or those that are.

I was thinking about this tonight because I filled in on a bartending shift and was noticing some of the signs that alcohol could be a problem.

The first was an obvious, someone who had a few too many that thought they were fine to drive. I think all drinkers think they're fine to drive at that moment. I know I always could rationalize that I wasn't "that bad". Normal drinkers willingly surrender their keys in that situation people with more of a problem tend to really resist the help (at least from what I've seen).

One couple was playing the game of ordering another drink when the other went to the bathroom. They were both doing this to each other. Normal drinkers can order at the same time and not worry that their partner is counting.

Another was getting antsy when he saw me turning off the window lights. Asked if I were closing, could he get another, then ordered a stronger drink, and asked for another after that. I remember getting like that when I knew last call was coming (I very rarely drank at home).

Just the fact that I had customers tonight was a red flag for most of them. Miserable night, cops everywhere, terrible driving conditions, yet still came out. I used to realize I had a problem when I'd go out when anyone sane would be in their warm house avoiding going anywhere.

I don't think I'll be filling in anymore-the whole thing was depressing me.
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Old 12-30-2012, 12:22 AM
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I noticed it on Christmas day-people really trying to get me to drink shows they have a problem
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Old 12-30-2012, 12:22 AM
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Hang about. Are you in recovery....and working in a bar?

Natom.
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Old 12-30-2012, 01:03 PM
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Clear Eyes Full Heart
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Yes, I bartend occasionally. I have 5 months sober and have been working there both before and after I quit. It's a challenge at times, but it actually convinces me I'm doing the right thing seeing the bar scene through sober eyes. It's very hard to find decent paying extra jobs where I live and I'm broke so any shifts are appreciated.
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Old 12-30-2012, 01:15 PM
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It's funny free, what you notice when your sober, isn't it? I never want to go back to drinking like that. Thanks for the post!
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Old 12-30-2012, 01:31 PM
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Not an alcoholic but love this post!
I do not drink havent for about a yr and even though I do not have a drinking
Problem I love not drinking. Im an odd ball for sure lol but in not drinking
I notice more how useless it is. Getting sick, acting a fool, driving/not driving, money wasted etc
My ah is an alcoholic...I learned alot about addiction through him. Add that and not drinking out of choice
I now see things differently and its all too easy to see the signs in others.
It is also interesting to see if not signs of a drinking problem....how ridiculous people are about drinking
Their good time is at a bar every weekend .....birthdays drinking. Christmas drinking.football drinking . Get together Drinking so forth.
Instead of actually enjoying others company and having new experiences.
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Old 12-30-2012, 01:33 PM
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O wanted to add freefall kudos to you. It doesnt work for everyone
But glad that you can walk into a bar and not drink .
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Old 12-30-2012, 01:34 PM
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Turning any activity in to drinking....ie band practice
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Old 12-30-2012, 02:10 PM
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I have'nt been around anyone drinking. I think I could handle it now. A month ago probably not. I have heard a lot of bartenders don't like drunks. Sounds like the experience reinforced your decision to stay sober.
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Old 12-31-2012, 07:29 AM
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Clear Eyes Full Heart
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So true about turning any activity into drinking-huge red flag...

Creating parties for just about any reason? Groundhog day? It snowed out?

Other things bartenders notice...problem drinkers like to have their drinks in the same glass/ice. They don't like to start fresh and lose some of the original drink. Normal drinkers like to start fresh so it's not watered down. Bloody Mary's are just an excuse to drink early in the day. I was told by a bar manager "don't ever worry about making a martini the right way. All they want is the straight booze and it's a way to order it without sounding bad" He was right. I've even left out vermouth and people said it was a great drink. People that just want to stare at the tv and are annoyed by music and conversation are also ones to watch. They want to be in a drinking world and tune everything out.

Thislonelygirl, you're right-you do see how useless it is. How much wasted money and time. How people are chasing happiness from a bar stool instead of getting out there and creating it.
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