Rosiepetal

Hi all
Over the break I been reading "under the influence" on alcoholism.
It is very interesting & I have a different view of it now.
I am a little confused however & would like your input. Actually I would also really like the alcoholics & recovering alcoholics out there to give their views.
As part of SR I believed that the alcoholic had to want to change for themselves & it was better for me to leave the alcoholic so he could discover this himself.
However after reading through this book & seeing that the problem is physiological & not psychological I would like to know if you think that without the knowledge of the book I'm reading now how would the alcoholic know that they needed further help/treatment?
They would think it was physcological & all their problems related to this?
Would love your feedback please.

thislonelygirl

Hey rosiepetal!

Have not read that book. What exactly does it state?
And how was your holiday?

dollydo

They know because their life is so out of control, it no longer makes and sense. My ex knew that he was addicted, he knew that his life was a mess, yet, he never had to bells to do anything about it...he has lost everything and everyone. IMO he will die an active addict, to me, he has no bottom, some do not.

Rosiepetal

Hi lonelygirl.
Holiday was good but I did struggle with my emotions over Christmas day.
Just still in recovery.
I did get txt coverage & when I did I saw random txts from my axbf. He was drinking too much & upset his new girlfriend & wanted me. Glad I had no coverage.
I've spent a lot of time reading Under the influence by James Milam & Katherine Ketcham. It is very involved & goes through the physical process of alcoholism. In short it states that some people are prone to addiction of alcohol & it is not caused by physcological problems. I haven't quite finished the book yet.
It does take you through the different stages of alcoholism & as your abf is drinking straight from bottle & mine is obviously getting worse I have found it very interesting.
Just read your post.

thislonelygirl

Yea my ah is drinking straight alcohol! Eeek! Must be a sign that its progressing and probably one of the late stages??? Hmm....will have to look that up to see.
I should probably read some of the books others have brought up on here. Will have to put that on my to do list as well and the book sounds interesting. For sure need to check it out.
I am thoroughly glad that you are not allowing your x to effect your recovery or atleast trying not too.
I too struggled over Christmas holiday as well and working through the emotions. One day at a time right?

Pelican

I can give you my experience with reading that book as an alcoholic. I knew I had a problem controlling my alcohol consumption. I had reached my bottom when I read the excerpts from that book posted on this website.
I purchased the book.
I was still at home and married to my active alcoholic.
I kept the book in our bathroom drawer. My husband would read from it while in there. I dont think he finished reading the book. I know he read several of the beginning chapters.

We even discussed what we learned about the physiological effects of alcohol.

I went on to continue in my sobriety. I also purchased and read the following book: "Beyond the Influence". For me, the information was power. It gave me facts I could wrap my head around and accept. The knowledge fuelled my acceptance that I can not process alcohol in a normal fashion. I understood that finally.

My husband? He tried sobriety and AA after our divorce. Today , last I heard - he is actively drinking.

Same book. Two alcoholics. Different responses.

Pelican

Here is the link that takes you to the excerpts from the book: "Under the Influence"

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...influence.html

Recovering2

Have not read this book. But even if all the problems are physiological, at some point on a psychological level they need to figure that out? My ABF developed health issues r/t his drinking. Neuropathy in his feet, elevated liver enzymes, fatigue. He had the million dollar work up, and was told to "decrease" his drinking. He went to a GI who was more direct...stop drinking or end up on a liver transplant list some day. He still did not make the connection. It was only when social losses started to happen, on top of feeling sick, that he acknowledged the issue and got into treatment. I would venture to say it's a combo of both for most A's.