zoso77

On vacation this week and next, trying to take a nap, and my iPhone goes off. It's a text message that contains a X-Ray of what appears to be a broken ankle and some comment about how it occurred during a hike.

Thinking this was odd, I texted back that I believed I was not the intended recipient and I did not recognize this phone number. Thinking that was that, I attempted again to take a nap.

Except that wasn't that.

The phone goes off again, and it's a picture of a swollen looking ankle, and the patient had painted toenails. It was a picture of a woman's foot.

Uh, oh...

First thought was to block the person from calling/texting me, which I did immediately. Second thought was to do a reverse lookup on the phone number to confirm what my gut was telling me. Which I did, and the results were texted to me...

...the number belongs to my AXGF...

Because she's Borderline, I have to be prepared for anything. And I do mean anything. It's been nearly a year since she pulled what she pulled. I do not have any feelings of warmth towards her whatsoever. And while I don't want anything bad to happen to her, I also don't want her anywhere near me. She's either picked up, or she's trying to mess with me.

Either way, she's not going to get what she wants.

secondwind

Sorry to hear that she contacted you. Glad to see you are staying strong.

Are you able to block her # from contacting you?

Carrie

zoso77

Yes.

LoveMeNow

Great job ZoSo!! Keep up the good work!

secondwind

I think blocking the number is the route that i would go.

Once i am able to physically live in a separate house from my Addicted Other... i will give AO one chance not to abuse the priviledge of having my contact #. Once he abuses it. My number will change and he will only be allowed to use email to contact me.

Hopefully your EX will get the message with you not responding to her... and will stop sending you texts.

Carrie

Kindeyes

Best reaction sometimes is.....no reaction. Strange.

Time to get back to the important business of NAP TIME.....zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzoso!

gentle hugs
ke

Ann

Yes, well done on the block.

And I agree, simply blocking with no correspondence sends a clear message...don't talk to me because I will not be listening.

Hugs

tjp613

what a weirdo. (her, not you)

oooopps

Gross. sending pictures of her foot. No Thank You! Good job on the blocking and dont give her anymore responses Zoso.

crazybabie

This also goes to show an addict will reach out to whoever they think they can use at any point and time not safe even after a year from them trying to contact smh.

I hope you got your nap.

zoso77

That's a nice observation.

I've gotten used to answering every question regarding her behavior using three words: Because She's Borderline. It saves a lot of cognitive energy because I won't allow my brain to grind out an answer. She's nuts, simple as that.

And yet when something like this happens, I must admit, it shakes me up because I know that deep down, she's capable of anything. Especially if she's using.

zoso77

Yeah, she's a few fries short of a Happy Meal...

helpme33

Great job!!! After my EXAH caused so many problems, many ending with him in jail he still wanted us to try again.. and he was remarried.

I think they have lost some serious brain cells.

You handled it very well.

shaolin5

What's this "borderline" you speak of

Journey2

I admire your strength and ability to take care of yourself!

Yeah, she's a few fries short of a Happy Meal... Love this!!!

How do you paste a quote from a post? Haven't figured it out yet. Tech challenged!

zoso77

Shaolin,

This is kinda OT, but where a lot of Borderlines have addiction issues, I'll answer it.

Borderline Personality Disorder is a serious, serious mental illness. It's what is called a "character disorder", whereas something like Bipolar Disorder is a mood disorder.

It's a complicated answer, but the long and short of it is Borderlines are petrified of abandonment, real or perceived, but they behave in such a way that pushes people away. Kinda like, "I hate you, don't leave me" sort of behavior. Their interpersonal relationships are incredibly unstable and turbulent. They are capable of being incredibly manipulative, especially sexually. They may use suicide threats as a form of manipulation. Cognitive distortions are the norm for them. I can go on, and on, and on.

In popular culture, Glenn Close's character in Fatal Attraction is someone that shows a lot of Borderline traits. Drew Barrymore's character in Mad Love could also be considered a Borderline.

Unfortunately, BPD is an incredibly difficult thing to treat. It's not like a mood disorder, or clinical depression, where you can alleviate the symptoms with a combination of the appropriate medications. Successful treatment of BPD means years and years of either cognitive behavioral therapy or dialectical behavioral therapy.

From what I've read, 50% of psych hospitalizations for BPD also have addiction issues. In the case of my AXGF, she is an opiate addict, and opiate addicts primarily seek to numb themselves so they don't feel what they feel. They want to escape.

Frankly, my AXGF was a nicer person when she was higher than a kite. It was when she stopped using the real her slowly emerged...and it was (and is) U G L Y.

Hope this answers your question somewhat.

ZoSo

MLH2282

I am so inspired by your strength when faced with your AXGF. I know we all progress at our own rate, but one day, I hope I will have such a strong resolve.

I recently broke my No-Contact with my AXBF, BUT I informed him of, and maintained specific boundaries. Baby steps right? Even though I felt drawn to him, I did not let that feeling distract me from sticking to my guns!

Thanks for the inspiration!

amy55

Zoso, I think that was an excellent description of Borderline Personality Disorder.

zoso77

Thanks, Amy. Did a lot of reading last year, and saw it up close and personal, too.

shaolin5

Zoso77, my wife shows a LOT of those traits... She also has an amazing ability to con everyone in her family.