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Tough time of year...

Old 12-28-2012, 12:22 PM
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Tough time of year...

Hello everyone! I haven't posted on here in a while and just wanted to send out my best wishes to everyone during this oh so tough time of year. I've been sober for nearly 10 months now and while it hasn't always been easy it is definitely better than when I was drinking. I guess part of me thought that the holidays would be a lot easier now that I'm not violently drunk everyday but I'm seeing that even sober this time of year is difficult. There's a lot of pressure and stress put upon us and it can be overwhealming. In the past I'd just drink until I didn't feel it, then rinse and repeat. This year I am trying to take an introspective look at exactly what it is that makes this time of year so hard as I can't just blame it on drinking. I haven't come up with my answer yet though and plan to stay vigilant over the next few days. I feel that I need to put some extra work in. Today I am using my go-to strategy: Whatever I am feeling down about or stressed about WILL pass in time. Most likely sooner rather than later. I hope all of you out there can consider that thought as well! Take care everyone and god bless!
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Old 12-28-2012, 12:35 PM
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It is a tough time of year. And, it's really hard to face those feelings full on, especially the first time. My suggestion is to make new traditions in your life, in your family. Start doing something this year that is different, that is fun, and that you can draw on next year and look forward to it.
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Old 12-28-2012, 12:40 PM
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Big congrats on 10 months-awesome! I think the holidays are hard because it's a lot of forced emotion all at once. There is pressure from the media and other people to create this perfect holiday. You're feeling stressed if you're trying to create it, and depressed if it's not happening. Lonely feels lonelier this time of year. Everything emotional gets exaggerated and when it's happening to everyone all it once there's drama, sadness, anger, joy, you name it. All kinds of family things get dredged up. It can be overwhelming for anyone. Trying to go through it while recovering is even more difficult.

You're right, it does pass, and your post was encouraging and thoughtful.
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Old 12-28-2012, 12:48 PM
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Thanks for the responses as always, I feel better already!
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Old 12-28-2012, 01:00 PM
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10 months is great!!! This is my first holiday season sober, and there were a few tough moments, but I knew I would be mad at myself if I woke up the next day and had given in. Glad you have a plan that has helped you get through this season!!
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Old 12-28-2012, 01:54 PM
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Hey Job.
I reckon the extra pressure at this time of year not only to be happy ourselves, but to ensure those around us are happy too can seem so artificial.
We surround ourselves with such high expectations and are usually entertaining family we spend the rest of the year avoiding!

You're doing great, and are an inspiration to me as always.

Loads of love,
Your English sis xxx
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Old 12-28-2012, 02:06 PM
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It is a difficult time of year. I felt flat this year trying to "chase traditions" and fulfill expectations. I'm ready to change things up next year. Congratulations on your 10 months
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Old 12-28-2012, 02:34 PM
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Hi jobei - great to see you! Glad you came here to share those thoughts. I was rather angry & resentful my first sober holiday season - but it has become much. much better. It's hard to undo old habits, things we clung to year after year. You will get there. Proud of you for your 10 months.
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Old 12-28-2012, 02:54 PM
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Originally Posted by jobei View Post
I guess part of me thought that the holidays would be a lot easier now that I'm not violently drunk everyday but I'm seeing that even sober this time of year is difficult.
I didn't really expect the holiday season to be tough, to be honest I didn't really think about it at all, until December hit and I realised that there were gonna be lots of parties and gigs and loads and loads of drunk people everywhere! I have not liked this month at all.

I don't know why it didn't cross my mind that my first sober Xmas was going to be hard. It's only natural really. 'Tis the season to be jolly and all that, and most people translate jolly as 'drunk'. I also found the shopping ridiculously stressful. I can't believe I had to go to work and think of and buy presents for small children. We should be able to employ people to be thoughtful for us

You're doing fab hun, don't let the season grind you down. Xmas and new years are just days after all. Hugs xxx
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Old 12-28-2012, 03:23 PM
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I think it is tough too but I also think as drinkers, we can magic up any situation that calls for a well deserved drink or 53!

Easter, summer, not getting the flu in winter, no fillings at the dentist, bus home being late, bus home being early...the list is endless, certainly for me!

I think my thoughts about this time are that essentially its two days with two evenings thrown in. Christmas eve and Christmas day. New years eve and years day. Thats it.

Although I m grateful for the time away from work and the happiness this time brings to my daughter, I actually am looking forward to life getting back to normal.

Keep on going xxxx
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Old 12-28-2012, 03:30 PM
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:ghug3 JOBEI!!!!! You got this girl!!!!!
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Old 12-28-2012, 11:51 PM
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LoL @ stepping - I'm not a girl remember we had that talk? Hope all is well with you tonight... how have you been?

Thanks for all the other responses too, you all are wonderful!
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Old 12-29-2012, 07:47 AM
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LOL Jobei! Ugh!!! I am terrible!!! You seem to sweet to be a man..kinda like Dee

Things are going really well here. You stay on the beam and all will work out.

YOU ARE THE BEST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! First one to come to my aid when I cried out. I am here for you the same way DUDE....not dudet

:ghug3
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