EnderWiggin

perhaps i never noticed it before (i'm only 1 month sober today). but there really isn't much sympathy for those of us with an alcohol problem, is there? 2 examples from this week:

1) for the past 7 years, my wife and i have had bailey's and coffee together before the kids woke up. i didn't even think of it this year, as i don't even consider purchasing alcohol. well, my wife woke me up christmas morning and handed me a cup of coffee with bailey's in it! i said 'wtf, you know i don't drink anymore'. her response was 'this doesn't count, it's tradition, not drinking'. i didn't drink. and she was angry at me for the rest of the morning.

2) i don't know what a courtney cox is, or what a cougartown is. but i heard a commercial for it this morning on my way into work. someone said 'are you all alcoholics? do you all go to AA meetings?', and a woman responded 'those two things are completely different, honey'. it made me angry.

maybe i'm just grumpy and having a bad day. but i find the saturation of alcohol, along with the lack of understanding about our (my) lack of control over it, to be extremely frustrated when all i do is try to do the right thing for me.

thanks for letting me vent.

IndaMiricale

Vent away friend..

As for your first example.... Thank you for writting that. It show newcomers excatly what we talk about when we say a non alcoholic just has no clue how to understand one that is..

They cant help it, just like I dont know what it is like to have cancer, because I havent had it "yet" knock on wood..

And the second dont worry your not missing anything by a actress named Courney Cox, and the show Cougartown.. LOL..

Just dont let some stupid show ruffle your feathers..

jakec

I feel the same way with some of my friends

I've told them many times how I cannot control my use or drinking, yet they still think it's ok if I smoke weed once in a while... It doesn't work like that.

4WWWW

I have not given the idea of sympathy much thought. If your looking for sympathy with your sobriety- that could be a bad combination, not sure, however.

I myself am sober 101 days. Im trying not too rely on too many things that I cant control such as what someone else thinks of my situation. Not too many know anyways.

MY AA Group is my support network.

By the way congrats on being sober!

SoberJohn

Totally agree with you and it gets worse the closer we get to New Years.

foodie1

Most normies just don't get it. That's one of the reasons I like going to meetings, because I know that even if it's a room full of strangers, they will all know me on a deeper, truer level than even my own family knows me.

Lots of focus on alcohol in this world, but you can change the focus of what you see in this world! All the best to you EW!

FreeFall

I think that was really insensitive of your wife. I'd be bummed out too. I wish she had just let it go instead of being angry too but it's over and done with. Hopefully she gets it in the future. That's one tradition that has to go, but maybe you can replace it with a new one that works for both of you.

Lots of tv shows poke fun of addicts. They poke fun of everything if you think about it...not worth worrying about.

Get your empathy here, and congrats on 30 days!

MsJax

I know we each are responsible for our own sobriety but that sort of crap does get so old. One of my good friends, who in the past even expressed "concern" over my drinking still just tried to get me to drink a few weeks ago. It was in front of 2 other gals & it struck me how insensitive & maybe not such a great friend she is. No clue.

Xune

I'll be blunt.

1) Your wife's behaviour is either born from ignorance or selfishness.

You could have said to her; ' Alcohol is a substance that if I drink it, has the power to ruin all that is good in my life, destroy my health and even kill me. I am an addict, alcohol is what I am addicted to and so, I will not drink alcohol again...ever.

You are married to a man who chooses not to drink. '

Regarding the adverts... just turn the channel.

ReadyAtLast

I agree,you wife's reaction is very insensitive and then to remain angry on Christmas morning, very cruel. If she also has a problem that would make it more understandable.

Dee74

Hey EW

The good thing is you do have support from people who know and understand what it's like to be alcoholic/addicted.

I'm glad we have places like SR

Hevyn

Hi Ender. Glad you vented. I love it that we can come here and talk to others who truly understand what we're going through.

My husband tries very hard to understand my situation. He knows what alcohol has done to me - so of course he's been supportive. Yet when I try to explain how it is to be an alcoholic, I can see his eyes glaze over - he just doesn't get it, and never really could. As for friends & family, it was - "Why can't you just have a couple? That can't hurt anything." As if.

I agree with Dee - it's wonderful to have SR as our special place to come to. We all get each other - what a blessing.