lillamy

I just resurfaced after a Christmas of immense joy and significant pain, and once again realized how much I need your company, need people around me who "get it." I've been reeling a bit with BS thrown around by AXH and need to center and refocus.

So, my questions- to you and to myself - are:
What is an important lesson you have learned in the past year?
What is something that gave you great joy in the past year?
What are you hoping for for the upcoming year?
What is something you're planning for the upcoming year? ("Plans are hopes with a deadline"...)

electricalguru

It took me probably two years to get, you cannot control an alcoholic or anyone, just yourself. What a painful experience this process has been for everyone involved especially the kids, never again will I put them or myself through this.

m1k3

What is an important lesson you have learned in the past year?

Patience. I have finally started to learn that I can sit back, be patient and let things happen at there own pace, which they will anyway whether I like it or not. To use a Buddhist saying I don't spend near as much time pushing water.

What is something that gave you great joy in the past year?

Going on vacation this summer with both of my daughters and their families. It was great!

What are you hoping for for the upcoming year?

Just to keep working my recovery program and to continue to improve.

What is something you're planning for the upcoming year? ("Plans are hopes with a deadline"...)

I am hoping that in the 2nd half of the year I can split the 401K plans with my wife. I will be old enough to get at them without having to pay a penalty and I will be one step closer to the divorce.

Thanks for the great post and I hope you have a happy and serene new year.

Your friend,

Carol Star

Re-commit to meditating everyday......run every problem or emotion through the steps for "help"...call my sponser once aweek whether my a-- is falling off or not, remember I can only change me and "my part " is the reaction to whatever happens.....

Tuffgirl

This one is so good that I am copying it for my greatest lesson learned! But truly, learning the importance of patience for me was HUGE! To stop being my worst enemy by jumping into things and mucking them up with my impatience.

What is something that gave you great joy in the past year?

Oh my goodness...so many things...but to sum up what could be a long list, what gives me the most joy is the ability to find it and experience it in everything I do, regardless of the circumstances.

What are you hoping for for the upcoming year?

A quieter year with less trauma and chaos. 2012 was filled with loss; loss of a cherished relationship, dear friends, an old "normal". I hope 2013 rings in quietly and serenely.

What is something you're planning for the upcoming year? ("Plans are hopes with a deadline"...)

I started a second master's program 6 years ago, and I am 2 credits away from completion. Unfortunately, those credits are thesis credits! Ugh! But come mid-January, I submit my project outline for approval and on I go...hoping to finish and defend it late this spring.

That's my big goal - I have a lot of little ones, too, but mainly I just hope to continue creating my new "normal", a life I am proud of and happy to have.

Great thread, lillamy! Gave me lots to think about!

LifeRecovery

What is an important lesson from the last year?
That I have great instincts, I just have a tendancy to not listen to them. That is what gets me into trouble.

What is something that gave you great joy this year?
Getting my friendly dog certified to visit nursing homes and hospitals. My training and the learning coming from that.

What are you hoping for in the upcoming year?
I feel like I am on the cusp. I have stopped feeling bad in the last year, but am ready to feel good. I think that this year is the year I will do it. I think that means changes to work, friends, therapy etc but I am excited for the first time in a long time.

What are you planning for in the upcoming year?
I need a job change. I don't 100% know what that looks like yet (change careers, jobs, place of employment etc, but this weekend I update my resume.

I want to get back into a regular exercise routine. It has always been a part of my life until the last two years and I miss it.

dollydo

So, my questions- to you and to myself - are:

What is an important lesson you have learned in the past year?

-That I cannot fix my mother-

What is something that gave you great joy in the past year?

-Travelling for 65 days in my motorhome...just me and my brother-

What are you hoping for for the upcoming year?

-That no one in the circle of my life dies-

What is something you're planning for the upcoming year? ("Plans are hopes with a deadline"...)
-To live to age 66-deadline July 2013-

LaTeeDa

That I have to be true to myself if I want to be happy. Even when others in my life don't like it.

Taking charge of my life, going in a new and scary direction, giving up the "safety net."

That I don't regret (*gulp*) what I've decided to do.

I ran the numbers today. I made an average of $46 a month on my photography in the first six months of 2012. I made an average of $125 a month in the second half of 2012. So, my goal is $300 a month for the first six months of 2013 and $500 or more a month for the second half of 2013. I think it's doable, but I have to get off my butt and market myself!

L

LoveMeNow

What is an important lesson you have learned in the past year?

I learned what codependency was and that I am!

What is something that gave you great joy in the past year?

Working on me with a therapist and a Coda support group.
Making boundaries and keeping them.
Finding my inner strength!

What are you hoping for for the upcoming year?

Financial independence

What is something you're planning for the upcoming year? ("Plans are hopes with a deadline"...)

I hope by January 31st, I have a new career path. I have something in the works right now and praying it comes through.

Confetti

What is an important lesson you have learned in the past year?

To be cautious who I trust. "Love many, trust few, always paddle your own canoe"

What is something that gave you great joy in the past year?

My kids. They can be the funniest, sweetest, most remarkable little humans ever.

What are you hoping for for the upcoming year?

To find happiness within myself.

What is something you're planning for the upcoming year? ("Plans are hopes with a deadline"...)

I'm planning on having my divorce finalized. (I know that may sound silly...but who knew an A could drag things out so long...)

ReflectingOnMe

Important lesson: pay attention to your inner voice because it is right time and time again. Hindsight is a b!$@*.

Great joy: impromptu vacation with my daughter.

Hope for the upcoming year: move past the pain with a renewed sense of self

Plans for the upcoming year: have my own place by march 31 2013.

lillamy

I would like to quote Mike's part about patience. It is perhaps the most important life lesson ever. And it's been front and center of my thoughts this holiday season as I've tried to explain to my oldest that it's not equal to chickening out - its not equal to being passive. It is however acknowledging that whether you like it or not, whether you're OK with it or not, doing everything you can is sometimes not enough. And sometimes, NOT doing is the most productive choice.

Joy? Having all my children home for Christmas. It feels like an overwhelming gift of joy from my Higher Power.

Hopes? Getting an elusive medical problem corralled, diagnosed, and getting a treatment plan established.

Plans? Taking better care of myself. In every way, from working my program to doing my hair. I'm not ready for giant plans, but I can make small changes.

cranapple

What is an important lesson you have learned in the past year?
What is something that gave you great joy in the past year?
What are you hoping for for the upcoming year?
What is something you're planning for the upcoming year?

In the past year, I have learned that I am indeed a strong person. I can stand up for myself and I do have the ability to make things better for myself when I put my mind to it.

In the past year I brought my horse close to my home and she brings me more joy than can be imagined. I have had to move a little bit further away from her but she is still fairly close and I get to see her almost daily.

In the upcoming year I'm hoping that I can get out of the funk I am feeling right now. I am beating myself up for some choices I've made recently and I just want to feel happy again.

Currently I'm in the process of planning a cruise for next December with my family. Yay! I can't wait.

dollydo

"Currently I'm in the process of planning a cruise for next December with my family. Yay! I can't wait. "

Sounds wonderful, I too, am hoping to cruise in 2013, my step-sister and I are planning a
cruise to Alaska...hope it all pans out for both of us!

redatlanta

I learned that I was part of the problem in my relationship.

My relationship now gives me a lot of joy - so does my side business. Its something I am passionate about.

In the upcoming year I am expecting some job changes and I am hoping that what I have planned works - to solely work for myself.

I am planning to take a couple vacations next year - one to the islands and one out West. I have dedicated myself to work and really need to enjoy the fruits instead of just labor.