Today I have 2 Years!!
*Grateful*
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2007
Location: Midwest
Posts: 2,619
Today I have 2 Years!!
I was a frequenter to this newcomers side for a few years cuz for some reason things didn't click for me cuz I was not willing to do the work. I posted this on the AA 12 step forum, but thought I would also share w/ you guys a tiny glimpse of my journey.
Happy New Year!
I will have 2 years sober!! Whoohoo!
What is different for me this time around? Well, I attended my very first meeting in San Diego CA in 1987 and was a chronic relapser for YEARS! I even had a period of time free from alcohol from 91-98 but I NEVER worked the program. I came in a bit of a "know it all" having some background in Christianity, I mean what could the Big Book offer me? So because of that attitude I continued to drag myself back into the rooms most of the time in tears...year after year....
Finally I got a sponsor who took me thru the Big Book, I still remember when I did a REAL 4th and 5th (believe me when I say I had done this before many times, but for some reason I went thru the motions but still carried around EVER single RESENTMENT known to man.) There was such a disconnect there, and I have no idea why except I just wasn't really ready I suppose.
A turning point came when a dear friend of mine dumped me and then accused me of something I didn't do. (okay, so I have done PLENTY to other people in my life, but I didn't do this. (it was an email scandle which my name was falsely attached she called me into my pastors office and made many accusations which were false) It was one of my weirder moments for sure, however I was newly sober and GOD used it for my good in so many ways!
She has not spoken to me in almost 3 years, but the cool thing thru it all is I have forgiven her and thru this situation I saw the need to FORGIVE everyone in my life cuz I no longer wanted to be tormented and filled with bitterness, rage, and resentments! That was the first turning point for me. I am free. When I worked on my 8 and 9th, some were difficult and embarressing, but people were genuinely kind. I am so thankful SR, thanks everyone for your kindness and your great answers, comments, etc.
Another thing I just want to say is I used to think I was a great judge of people and I loved EVERYONE. I still love everyone, however I now LISTEN to others. They will tell you who they are if you just listen. I think I used to have so much self loathing that I used to be so busy talking about myself trying to sell myself that I was a horrible judge of character and I thought that I could just fix everyone cuz they all had great intentions just like me. I really wish it hadn't taken me till I was in my 40's to learn this lesson, but this has helped me tremendously.....LISTENING to others!
So if there are any nuggets I can offer a newcomer, find a sponsor who really knows what they are doing. They might have to be a little firm to get your attention and then LISTEN to them, do your homework, truly forgive others, and if anger pops back up, remind yourself it is OVER, don't mentally obsess over it.... I have a post it note in my kitchen that says NO MORBID REFLECTION. Do the work, see your part in stuff. (we really are the problem in most stuff) and LISTEN TO others, believe who they tell you they are, oh yeah, don't forget to PRAY, meet your HP each morning and ACCEPT others, don't try to fix them!
Accept don't expect or you will be let down.....
Blessings, Lily xx
Happy New Year!
I will have 2 years sober!! Whoohoo!
What is different for me this time around? Well, I attended my very first meeting in San Diego CA in 1987 and was a chronic relapser for YEARS! I even had a period of time free from alcohol from 91-98 but I NEVER worked the program. I came in a bit of a "know it all" having some background in Christianity, I mean what could the Big Book offer me? So because of that attitude I continued to drag myself back into the rooms most of the time in tears...year after year....
Finally I got a sponsor who took me thru the Big Book, I still remember when I did a REAL 4th and 5th (believe me when I say I had done this before many times, but for some reason I went thru the motions but still carried around EVER single RESENTMENT known to man.) There was such a disconnect there, and I have no idea why except I just wasn't really ready I suppose.
A turning point came when a dear friend of mine dumped me and then accused me of something I didn't do. (okay, so I have done PLENTY to other people in my life, but I didn't do this. (it was an email scandle which my name was falsely attached she called me into my pastors office and made many accusations which were false) It was one of my weirder moments for sure, however I was newly sober and GOD used it for my good in so many ways!
She has not spoken to me in almost 3 years, but the cool thing thru it all is I have forgiven her and thru this situation I saw the need to FORGIVE everyone in my life cuz I no longer wanted to be tormented and filled with bitterness, rage, and resentments! That was the first turning point for me. I am free. When I worked on my 8 and 9th, some were difficult and embarressing, but people were genuinely kind. I am so thankful SR, thanks everyone for your kindness and your great answers, comments, etc.
Another thing I just want to say is I used to think I was a great judge of people and I loved EVERYONE. I still love everyone, however I now LISTEN to others. They will tell you who they are if you just listen. I think I used to have so much self loathing that I used to be so busy talking about myself trying to sell myself that I was a horrible judge of character and I thought that I could just fix everyone cuz they all had great intentions just like me. I really wish it hadn't taken me till I was in my 40's to learn this lesson, but this has helped me tremendously.....LISTENING to others!
So if there are any nuggets I can offer a newcomer, find a sponsor who really knows what they are doing. They might have to be a little firm to get your attention and then LISTEN to them, do your homework, truly forgive others, and if anger pops back up, remind yourself it is OVER, don't mentally obsess over it.... I have a post it note in my kitchen that says NO MORBID REFLECTION. Do the work, see your part in stuff. (we really are the problem in most stuff) and LISTEN TO others, believe who they tell you they are, oh yeah, don't forget to PRAY, meet your HP each morning and ACCEPT others, don't try to fix them!
Accept don't expect or you will be let down.....
Blessings, Lily xx
Congratulations Liliy and that was a great post so thank you!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: SF, CA
Posts: 65
As a newbie here, thanks for posting in the Newcomers section. Your success is inspiring, and the brief window into your story is helpful in knowing that I've got to DO THE WORK to achieve the success that you're celebrating today.
Oh, and, CONGRATULATIONS!!!
Oh, and, CONGRATULATIONS!!!
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