1st Sober Christmas....
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Kelowna, BC, Canada
Posts: 16
1st Sober Christmas....
Well let me start by saying I truly hope you all had a great Christmas and are filled with happy memories. I just got through my first sober christmas with hiim and it was quiet but so peaceful and actually enjoyed his company....he is going to another AA meeting tonight and things are looking up....for now. Trying to stay positive and be supportive but this is just too surreal to me and I keep holding my breath that something will happen. I am praying that I will be able to one day overcome this fear that he will drink.....still so unsure about the future but for today going to be happy its a sober one for him and so far all is well.....
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Posts: 1,243
Well if they actually go to the meeting they rarely drink there. 
As one who fiercely loved someone who hung around the rooms rather than embraced the whole enchilada (living the steps daily, active spiritual growth and giving back by serving others) it was constant roller coaster of sobriety, relapse, detox, sobriety...rinse repeat.
We have been split up for almost a year now since he relapsed for the last time under my watch and is now is solid authentic real "whatever it takes" recovery.
But... unless he makes it a core part of his life and brain activity his addictive voice and tricky brain will take him down the slippery slope... while he understands this there will always be that risk.
Knowing this... well.... I won't ever dial myself back into a relationship with an A...recovered or recovering no matter how long they have walked the sober trail.
It's part of the deal if you love an A... but the signs will be there if they start building up to drink (BUD) and you will have that "knowing" feeling that something is not right in River City.
As one who fiercely loved someone who hung around the rooms rather than embraced the whole enchilada (living the steps daily, active spiritual growth and giving back by serving others) it was constant roller coaster of sobriety, relapse, detox, sobriety...rinse repeat.
We have been split up for almost a year now since he relapsed for the last time under my watch and is now is solid authentic real "whatever it takes" recovery.
But... unless he makes it a core part of his life and brain activity his addictive voice and tricky brain will take him down the slippery slope... while he understands this there will always be that risk.
Knowing this... well.... I won't ever dial myself back into a relationship with an A...recovered or recovering no matter how long they have walked the sober trail.
It's part of the deal if you love an A... but the signs will be there if they start building up to drink (BUD) and you will have that "knowing" feeling that something is not right in River City.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 178
Congratulations, confusedgirl1! The peace and relief is huge, isn't it. Although RABF's family made things very difficult, this was his first sober Christmas too. And he is very pleased.
Hopeworks - Are you able to share some of the "signs" someone is BUD that you mentioned in your post or is it just a gut feeling sort of thing...?
Hopeworks - Are you able to share some of the "signs" someone is BUD that you mentioned in your post or is it just a gut feeling sort of thing...?
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Join Date: Jan 2011
Location: Anchorage, Alaska
Posts: 4,719
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