Kindeyes

I prayed yesterday morning. I was worrying that my son had left the SA-ARC. I don't know why i was worrying.....there was really no reason to do so. There's a saying.....if you worry why pray, if you pray, why worry. I was worrying so I decided to pray instead. I asked God to let me know somehow that my son was ok. And then I let it go and went about my morning.

Well shortly after noon....the phone rang. it was my son. He's still in the SA-ARC which is good. He asked if I would be able to pick up some gifts he had for his son. (He was in the office of one of the people who run the rehab so he was calling with her permission). He sounded good but the conversation was very brief.

I came up and picked up the gifts and dropped off a few small gifts we had for him. I wasn't able to see or talk to him which was fine. I was able to see the facility and it was clean and organized. Some of the men were working preparing for a Christmas Party that was going to take place that evening. On my way out there was a young man who held the door open for me. He asked if I was S's mother. I said yes. He introduced himself and said "I'm friends with S". This small gesture brought me comfort. I believe that my son's best chance for recovery is in the company of other addicts who want to recover as well.

The sad thing is......I can't give the gifts i picked up to his son. His mother won't allow me to see my grandchild. So I've stored the gifts in the garage hoping that God has a plan because I sure don't know what to do.

Christmas Day was spent with my husband, my daughter and her boyfriend and my mother--i enjoyed my time with them. I am thankful that my son is still in rehab today--that was a nice gift. One day at a time.......

gentle hugs
ke

LoveMeNow

So glad to hear you had an enjoyable day. You, you son and family are always in prayers.

lightseeker

there's a lot of peace in this. I'm grateful you had this experience....sounds like a God moment to me. I hope that the mother of your grandchild will soften her heart to you.

Thanks for sharing this......

Ilovemysonjj

Dearest KE, all is well in our world. Our God answered your prayers.
Thank you for sharing this awesome testimony. It sounds like your son is exactly where he is supposed to be.
Hugs,
TT

Journey2

Thank you for the quote If you worry why pray....if you pray why worry. I worry,think, pray, worry, think, pray.... Some days can't get out of my own head!! I am going to post the quote on my refrigerator to remind myself to just pray......and in time the answers and peace will come.

Ann

You post touched my heart, KindEyes. Worry never changes the outcome and it can eat us alive, so I try hard to pray instead. It doesn't always bring me peace but it gives the worry to God and takes a load off my shoulders.

I am glad your son is okay and that your family is having a nice Christmas.

Hugs

hello-kitty

Can you mail them? Just a suggestion. They might appreciate the effort. My son doesn't have contact with his fathers family. I have decided it would be way to confusing for him right now and I just don't know how to deal with the situation so until I figure it out it's for the best. But I know that if his family would make an effort by mailing gifts (or even a christmas or birthday card) it would go a long ways in healing the rift and I would probably encourage my son to make a thank you phone call. (However they are insane and so I doubt that will ever happen... ;-) ).

Kindeyes

I'm not sure she would appreciate it. She asked for no contact--I'm trying to respect her wishes. She's a strange cookie but she loves that little boy and is a good mother. In spite of her own past (drug use and cutting), she straightened herself out for the mostpart after the baby was born. My son didn't. My son has put her through hell in so many ways. I really can't blame her. I'm not sure that years of sobriety (his) would ever heal the damage his addiction has caused.

I am leaving her in peace. I understand that contact with us keeps her wounds open.....perhaps I am enabling her in some way but I just don't see the benefit of trying to fight her on this matter. Ultimately, the loser of a battle of that nature is the child.

So I hold my grandson in my heart......and love him. Does it hurt? Hell yes. The saying goes "if you love them, let them go"--I hope that this will allow him to grow up and never venture into the world of addiction. His odds are scary--mother is an addict (not in recovery but no longer using) and father is an addict (currently in recovery but it's very very early recovery--we've been here before......). I just hope that someday.......my grandson will understand that his Noni loves him and prays for him and his mother every day.

We never know what the future holds. At this point the bridging of the relationship really is in my son's and her hands. My grandson and I (and the rest of our family who love him) have been hit by the shrapnel of addiction. I hope and pray that someday all of us can heal.

Addiction tears families apart.

gentle hugs
ke