I want to help my boyfriend, and myself
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Clarksville, In
Posts: 2
I want to help my boyfriend, and myself
Hello everyone,
I have been with my boyfriend for about 5 years and we have an 11 month old daugter together.
Right before we had our daughter i found out that he had a really bad addiction to pain pills. I knew he occasionally took a pill here and there but it was way worse than that (10+ per day) i had no idea. I have never done any drugs so i didn't know what the signs or symptoms looked like.
He decided to go to an outpatient treatment facilty and join the methadone program just a few days after our baby was born. Everything was going great until our car broke down and he couldnt go anymore. The methadone just made his tolerance high so he had to move on to stronger and harder pills. When that wasnt enough and became too expensive he went straight to shooting heroin. I had no idea he had relapsed. He is very good at hiding things. I though he was cheating on me, so i started snooping through his faceook messages, and i found out what was really going on. I confronted him and he continued to lie to me. Eventually the whole truth came out on what he was truely doing.
Now I'm having a hard time trusting him, letting things go, and being the person i used to be with him. I'm not sure what to do any more. I want to help him, i will not walk away without doing everything in my power to be there for him.
He started going back to the clinic, and its been two weeks. He has only lied twice (that i know of) since then but not about getting high.
What does my road to the future possibly hold? Hire cab i help him while helping myself and staying true to myself. Is there anything i can do to gain knowledge of what steps i should take? My daughter I'd my everything and i don't wasn't this to affect her. I hope things well get better before she stats to understand. He says that my contact mistrust and bringing up the lies well be a trigger for him to get high, and i don't want to be the cause of a relapse.
Please help with any feed back. Thank you.
I have been with my boyfriend for about 5 years and we have an 11 month old daugter together.
Right before we had our daughter i found out that he had a really bad addiction to pain pills. I knew he occasionally took a pill here and there but it was way worse than that (10+ per day) i had no idea. I have never done any drugs so i didn't know what the signs or symptoms looked like.
He decided to go to an outpatient treatment facilty and join the methadone program just a few days after our baby was born. Everything was going great until our car broke down and he couldnt go anymore. The methadone just made his tolerance high so he had to move on to stronger and harder pills. When that wasnt enough and became too expensive he went straight to shooting heroin. I had no idea he had relapsed. He is very good at hiding things. I though he was cheating on me, so i started snooping through his faceook messages, and i found out what was really going on. I confronted him and he continued to lie to me. Eventually the whole truth came out on what he was truely doing.
Now I'm having a hard time trusting him, letting things go, and being the person i used to be with him. I'm not sure what to do any more. I want to help him, i will not walk away without doing everything in my power to be there for him.
He started going back to the clinic, and its been two weeks. He has only lied twice (that i know of) since then but not about getting high.
What does my road to the future possibly hold? Hire cab i help him while helping myself and staying true to myself. Is there anything i can do to gain knowledge of what steps i should take? My daughter I'd my everything and i don't wasn't this to affect her. I hope things well get better before she stats to understand. He says that my contact mistrust and bringing up the lies well be a trigger for him to get high, and i don't want to be the cause of a relapse.
Please help with any feed back. Thank you.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 36
Your going to have a rough couple of months. Methadone is not the best idea in my opinion. An inpatient facility is where he needs to go. Shooting heroine is a tough thing to stop doing without going to rehab. After detox your boyfriend has to continue to go to therapy and do some form of NA meetings or other type of recovery program. This will be a continuous battle and the love he has for you and even his child will not be enough to stop until he gets clean enough to start thinking rationally. The drug is controlling his existence and until all drugs are out of his system recovery is not possible. You should also look into alanon or other support network to help yourself understand addiction.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Clarksville, In
Posts: 2
We can't afford an in patient treatment, and can't Afford not to work. I don't think i can trust him to go to the hospital, rapid detox, and come out without going right back. He was fully functional on the drugs, and i didn't even know he was doing it. He wasn't trying to get high by doing the heroin, just trying to maintain and not get sick (so he says). Im drug illiterate. He only shot twice per day, and only for about a month. Atleast with the methadone, he cant get high on the opiates (right...? Im not really sure). He hasnt lost contact with his friend that he used with, some of those friendships go back years before the drug use. He has even taken one of the friends to the clinic with him a few times to help her get clean. He doesnt want to get high anymore, but the craving is still there.
How long before the cravings go away?
How long before the cravings go away?
All it takes is one try.
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Ireland.
Posts: 134
When my buddy first went on Methadone, no matter the dose he was at, it took about half a year on the treatment for his hard-core Opiate cravings to go away. During this half a year though he did not use once and continued to not use afterwards. I'm sure if he was to use during the years on his treatment, his cravings wouldn't have went away like they did (using only puts him right back to square one). He has to put those memories behind him.
So even if he's on the Methadone (no matter the dose), it's still going to take some time (especially because of those relapses he had in-between).
Hanging out with old using buddies is only going to make things worse though (especially if those buddies are still using*). And I would recommend that he stay away from all of the triggers that he can (especially at this point), at the very least until he knows that he's really strong enough to resist the temptation (which can take years for some).
Like one of the above said, he has to get out of that fog first to realise what he's actually doing/ what the drug's making him do.
As long as he doesn't use Opiates while on the Methadone treatment though, those cravings should eventually subside for the most part (if he's held at a proper dose that is).
Now my buddy says that he may have a drug dream once or twice a year (he's been on the Methadone program for years now), and these drug dreams don't really bother him or make him want to go out and use like they used to.
Not everyone's the same when it comes to this though, so keep this in mind.
The last memories that my buddy had of his Opiate addiction before beginning his Methadone treatment were of his harsh rock bottoms and not the "fun moments" (before all hell broke loose). So it also depends on the person and where they're at in their addiction, and if they're really ready to change or not.
It's a very complicated addiction, for both the user and the family members. But I encourage you to stay strong and remember that you're not the only one who's having a hard time with this (noone wants to be an addict, and the addict themseleves go through unimaginable hell during their active Opiate addictions).
So really, time is your best medecine when it comes down to it.
Now it's just up to him to make sure he doesn't use, and let the time do the healing.
So even if he's on the Methadone (no matter the dose), it's still going to take some time (especially because of those relapses he had in-between).
Hanging out with old using buddies is only going to make things worse though (especially if those buddies are still using*). And I would recommend that he stay away from all of the triggers that he can (especially at this point), at the very least until he knows that he's really strong enough to resist the temptation (which can take years for some).
Like one of the above said, he has to get out of that fog first to realise what he's actually doing/ what the drug's making him do.
As long as he doesn't use Opiates while on the Methadone treatment though, those cravings should eventually subside for the most part (if he's held at a proper dose that is).
Now my buddy says that he may have a drug dream once or twice a year (he's been on the Methadone program for years now), and these drug dreams don't really bother him or make him want to go out and use like they used to.
Not everyone's the same when it comes to this though, so keep this in mind.
The last memories that my buddy had of his Opiate addiction before beginning his Methadone treatment were of his harsh rock bottoms and not the "fun moments" (before all hell broke loose). So it also depends on the person and where they're at in their addiction, and if they're really ready to change or not.
It's a very complicated addiction, for both the user and the family members. But I encourage you to stay strong and remember that you're not the only one who's having a hard time with this (noone wants to be an addict, and the addict themseleves go through unimaginable hell during their active Opiate addictions).
So really, time is your best medecine when it comes down to it.
Now it's just up to him to make sure he doesn't use, and let the time do the healing.
All it takes is one try.
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Ireland.
Posts: 134
You should mention kratom or ******** to him though before even considering the Methadone route.
Methadone's a hell of a drug in itself. The lifestyle may not be as bad as living off of Heroin, but the side-effects and Clinics that run em are apparently both BS. Plus it's one hell of a drug to come off of.
"Methadone's a double edged sword".
Methadone's a hell of a drug in itself. The lifestyle may not be as bad as living off of Heroin, but the side-effects and Clinics that run em are apparently both BS. Plus it's one hell of a drug to come off of.
"Methadone's a double edged sword".
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